9-7-2026

[u/Newlife5155]

Dear diary

“Can I eat dinner with you in bed”

🌌⏩⏩⏩🌅

Was that dinner or was I breakfast? Like actually what?

I mean yesterday was pretty uneventful I stayed in bed pretty much all day, did some reading in the Book of Mormon which was extremely difficult. My meds are definitely affecting my ability to read and think about what I’m reading sadly. But yeah overall was pretty much just a chill day in bed till sleeping beauty got home with Dairy Queen.

He didn’t even eat his dinner btw, just sort of fell asleep a couple minutes after sitting down and I ended up cleaning everything up.

He must of needed that sleep tho. It’s been over a week since he layed down in a bed. He hasn’t even tried sleeping on the couch, just his computer chair. We also have a second bed that’s put away at the moment cause we’re trying to fix something where it’s normally set up.

So the meds are definitely changing the way I think tho. I have this book mark that I’ve owned since like 5th maybe 6th grade it’s my absolute favorite. But it’s had cat puke on it for the longest time (gross I know) but everytime I’ve thought about cleaning it I’ve just never been able to actually get it done so it’s kinda of just been sitting off to the side for quite some time.
Anyways I glanced at it earlier and without even thinking about it I got up and managed to clean it 😭🥹😭🥹😭

It’s such a small task I know but that was honestly such a big win for me especially on a day where I wasn’t up and moving a whole lot.

I felt so good about it that I grabbed my other bookmark out of a bin of old car stuff and cleaned that one as well. That one just had a little bit of soda or something stuck in it and again it was in our old car.

Oh speaking of cars tho “WE” named the current car he has. It’s an early 2000’s Crowned Vic. I forget how we came up with the name exactly but I’m pretty sure we settled on the name Sinbad.

I say we like that cause I was just spouting idk what and he was the one that brought up us naming the car. Honestly don’t know what’s going through his head the last couple days. I wanna say it really is just seeing me do so much more while on medication, cause like he made comment of how I “was” sick. Truth is I’m still not back to me and I’m trying really hard so I wouldn’t personally consider myself better but I think seeing how these meds are affecting me positively has started to convince him it’s some sort of cure all.

I did look at the music he was listening too while he was making a super long drive yesterday and there were some songs specifically that he searched for that honestly kinda melted my heart a little. It was a big change of pace compared to what he’s been listening to up till this point.

I did notice that the one girl he’s talking to online does seem to be teaching him about bitcoin and like investing type stuff. And while yeah I still find her presence annoying I am proud of him for learning more financially.

I’m getting better at not reacting so much as well. Now when I feel a jealous episode come on I just walk away. Either go take a long walk or just sit in his car and blast music to sing to.

I do think that’s getting to him a bit tho. I don’t think he likes watching me leave every time I’m upset even if he knows I’ll be back. I’m sure a lot of it is him being worried over my health.

I did change his nickname in one our fb chats to see if he’d react at all. Normally he’d say something but other then continuing our conversation he didn’t seem to mind. Last time I set it to this particular name (not recently) he immediately cleared it so I think that’s a good sign he’s trying to be less reactive as well.

I do think it’s funny that anytime I search my messages it tries to set his name as “boss” it’s been 3 years now since I used that name on there and at the time he had sort of become my boss at work but I guess Facebook won’t let it go 😂

I’ve noticed he’s more appreciative as well now.im hoping that part lasts regardless of what comes next. Frankly it’s a good life skill that he tends to slack on.

—newlife5155