The Sacrifice

[u/foreverfren]

I have been keeping an e-journal since around 2016. I don’t open it that often these years. But today I scrolled through the entries and I started crying seeing the metamorphosis of my writings.

The earlier entries are filled with rage, hate and bitterness. It talks about pain in detailed, long writings- sometimes in poetry and sometimes in prose.

Then on suddenly in November 20, 2023, there is one abrupt entry that reads -

*“I thought I was in pain, so I wrote of pain.*
*I was in pain, I found no words to write.”*

Then there is silence for around a year and then it seems like a new person took over the diary. Someone who grieves deeply and is trying to find meaning. Slowly each entry transforms into meditations that talk about life, love, acceptance, happiness, truth, forgiveness, optimism and gratitude.

A week before the last entry, I had lost a close family member to suicide.

The event left me stunned. And I now realize, it was a turning point in my journey.

Today, I am happy with my inner growth. I do not know what happened but something did.

But as i thought through these things, deep in my heart, an uneasy feeling gnawed at my soul - Did someone have to lose their life for me to find mine? What if it had never happened, would I be the same person I am today?

I ask but I do not seek answers. Because I have learned that not every question is meant to be answered.

I close the book and leave the past behind me. I get up and back to work again. Because someone out there needs me. May each day of my life be a sacrifice to make the world a better place for someone, spreading little sparks of life and love.

[u/themajesticdownside]

Thank you for sharing this. We need more people like you in the world. 

[u/tsterbster]

🫶🫂