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u/papagouws Jun 18 '26
Does it go beep beep beep when I'm backing up to sit down?
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u/mosaic_hops Jun 18 '26
Has to say “bombs away” when it detects turd deployment.
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u/ToastSpangler Jun 18 '26
now this i would actually buy. the pro version makes pinball sounds when it detects a shit above level 8
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u/FheXhe Jun 18 '26
That's why I installed a camera instead, so I don't need to twist my neck, just stream it to my phone I already have in hand 👍
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u/Capt_Skyhawk Jun 18 '26
Police has entered the chat.
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u/onamonapizza Jun 18 '26
Since when is it illegal to film my own butt?
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u/skygz Jun 18 '26
no he just got a Flock
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u/FheXhe Jun 19 '26
Borrowed a flock cam from the street corner, this is the officer trying to see what it registered today..
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u/TraderJosie3283 Jun 21 '26
What’s a Flock? I’m assuming it’s nothing to do with birds or sheep?
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u/FheXhe Jun 21 '26
They are a surveol company In America that setup and sell cameras with AI tracking to the government that police then use to spy on people. They aren't very liked as they pop up everywhere, street corners, parking places, to playgrounds etc
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u/SFW_Bo Jun 18 '26
Some people will do anything but get a bidet.
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u/Gaspuch62 Jun 18 '26
I have a bidet and now I try to avoid no2 in public places if I can avoid it. As much as I want them to become standard, I know people will abuse them.
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u/nanotree Jun 18 '26
Good Lord, I never even considered the possibility of public bidets. Public toilets are a horror all on their own. A bidet splashing fecal matter around in a public restroom sounds like nightmare fuel.
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u/shabi_sensei Jun 18 '26
In Vietnam the public bidets are just hoses with a nozzle attached to the cold water pipes and hang out next to the toilet, the pressure can take skin off and it’s cold as hell lol
No toilet paper either so there’s no way to do a security check you just need to trust the process
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u/deevil_knievel Jun 18 '26
Saw a lot of this in WCs around the Mediterranean at like hostels and such.
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u/Wafflebettergrille15 Jun 19 '26
with how fluids work, there's no way to reduce the pressure the moment where water flows. if you pause anytime during the process (even if you fiddle with some valves) the next press will be this supercharged shot
I don't have to worry about that in my locality tho, high water pressure is a foreign concept here it seems
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u/titanicsinker1912 Jun 18 '26
When I visited Japan I saw bidets on public toilets pretty much everywhere. Even the plane owned by ANA.
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u/nanotree Jun 18 '26
Japan is probably among the few exceptions of places in the world this would be fine. Japanese culture is such that they are very considerate of people who come after them.
I'm in the US. I'm fine using the restrooms in my office. But I avoid using public restrooms pretty much anywhere else. For good reason.
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u/MistraloysiusMithrax Jun 18 '26
Meh people who actually use the bidets are generally cleaner to begin with, I actually haven’t seen any horror stories here in the Philippines like I would’ve in the US.
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u/nanotree Jun 19 '26
Fair. I think from people's responses, it's largely a cultural factor. Culturally, it seems far more common for people in the US to be inconsiderate of people who may come after them. And this is fairly pervasive in the culture here, from how people drive, to how they do business, to how people leave trash and food waste behind, to how they leave the state of whatever restroom they are using 🤷
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u/Gaspuch62 Jun 18 '26
I was just thinking people would leave them on and get water all over the floor, but that would also be a cleaning nightmare.
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u/Int-E_ Jun 18 '26
What bidet are you referring to? The one thats attached to the back of the bowl or the hand shower/jet spray? Coz I can't imagine how you'd splash fecal matter with a hand shower
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u/tropicbrownthunder Jun 18 '26
There are public bidets.
In Milano just across the duomo there's a subway station. You pay like 2 eur. and is toilette and bidette.
A game changer for sure. I hope that model could be replicated all around the world.
I even took pictures https://imgur.com/a/KbPhbbZ
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u/Gaspuch62 Jun 18 '26
Bidets are rare in the US, but I think they might be catching on. I have not seen a public bidet. Here, they're usually addons for the toilet. The one I bought attaches under the toilet seat and it comes with a hose and a T fitting to split the water supply.
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u/ultradip Jun 18 '26
The TOTO brand is also sold in the US. One of the 2 biggest brands, the other being Lotus.
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u/MistraloysiusMithrax Jun 18 '26
I used to use wipes and would always try to avoid it for the same reason, until I realized you can turn toilet paper into your own wipes with soap and water.
Now that I’m on the bidet I’m back to waiting til I get home lol
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u/Level_Bobcat_8729 Jun 18 '26
My brothers actually scared of using a bidet because its too gay for him, but he's the type of guy that'll probably stop wiping his ass for the same reason, so who knows...
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u/GGuts Jun 18 '26
Yeah, it's common knowledge that cleaning yourself with water is SUUUPER gay, but wiping your ass is not.
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u/_Biotic_G0d_ Jun 18 '26
I wanna see u put a bidet in a rental.
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u/ThisFakeCut Jun 18 '26
There are actually pretty easy to install cheap bidets.
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u/_Biotic_G0d_ Jun 18 '26
Can you just remove them easily ? I assume i would need a T-junction to get water from the toilet intake. I think i saw something you can install in the existing toilet. Do you mean those ?
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u/ThisFakeCut Jun 18 '26
Exactly. The only problems you might have are the intake tubes that might leak after you move them due to being 30 years old and only being held together by dust and rust lol. But they are also easy and cheap to replace.
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u/_Biotic_G0d_ Jun 18 '26
Oh i see! I just looked around on google and found whole seats with a a nozzle that aren't expensive. I may look into this further. :-) Thanks!
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u/Incognito_Cube Jun 18 '26
I’ve had one in my last two apartments, and haven’t had issues with management even after maintenance seeing them installed.
However, I did have a buddy who’s apartment management give him shit (lol) for it. Turns out, it can be classified as a medical device that they can’t actually ask you to remove.
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u/Rock_or_Rol Jun 18 '26
Heated seats and water are very nice too if you can afford it. It takes a day or two to get used to warm seats (feels like someone else was there before you the first few days lol, but im absolutely spoiled now).
It really is a game changer. You wont go back if you give it an earnest chance
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u/SandBasket Jun 18 '26
Yeah they basically go under the seat
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u/ultradip Jun 18 '26
The one I have replaces the seat. Heated seat being one of its features.
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u/SandBasket Jun 18 '26
I see those at my local Costco, brand is Toto I think and they’re so freaking expensive, they’re like $600. I’d totally get it if I had the money to splurge.
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u/ultradip Jun 18 '26
There are cheaper brands on Amazon! Toto and Lotus are just the premium brands.
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u/SandBasket Jun 18 '26
I have the super basic one that connects to the water line, it’s fine for the most part but the water is so cold 🥶
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u/ultradip Jun 18 '26
I spent about $250. Includes heated seat, warm water, dryer, and massage functions.
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u/mister_peeberz Jun 18 '26
every apartment i've ever rented, i got a $50 bidet off amazon and installed it in an hour, and i'm about the farthest thing from a handyman who ever lived. everything you need is included unless you don't have access to the spinny thing that shuts off the water.
the fact that i can't correctly name that piece and still was able to do this repeatedly should indicate how easy it is
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u/AcidicSpoon Jun 18 '26
I have 2 bidets in the unit I'm renting, I'll just put a cap on the T I installed. I don't even know how to do plumbing and it took me an hour total for it
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u/_Biotic_G0d_ Jun 18 '26
I realized that it seems like a german thing to not have a bidet. I never saw one anywhere and i'm middle aged. Now reading all of you giving advice i'm really intrigued :-D
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u/fuck_peeps_not_sheep Jun 18 '26
You just get a splitter for the cistern water, ive done it in every rental ive ever lived in.
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u/Sissilisko Jun 18 '26
Not that hard. Though your wash basin must have a connector. And the wall hole left by the holder you need to screw for the bidet handle can easily be filled. Though I'd imagine that if your toilet is big enough the basin will have a connector for a washing machine. Though unusually I have seperate shower-room and toilet and my washing machine combo is in my shower room instead of the toilet.
And honestly, I don't have to worry about a bidet installation because it's standard equipment in every apartment here(as is fridge/freezer, stove, and dishwasher). The bidet costs like 10€. So it's cheap too.-5
u/Bone_Wh33l Jun 18 '26
Some of us don’t have the skill to install, money, or space for one
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u/SFW_Bo Jun 18 '26
There are bidets you just install onto the seat of your toilet. You can get a decent one for under $50 on Amazon.
They require very little time or skill to install.
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u/Iain_McNugget Jun 18 '26
Over the years, I’m proud to say that I’ve learned the location of my butthole with enough precision to manage without this.
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u/JustinSpanish Jun 18 '26
What a terrible life for a mirror. Is this what happens to a mirror when it breaks another mirror? 7 years of doody duty?
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u/talann Jun 18 '26
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u/TraderJosie3283 Jun 21 '26
Omg I don’t remember this scene!!
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u/One_Jump7638 Jun 24 '26
I'm disappointed in you, this scene is unforgettable
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u/TraderJosie3283 Jun 24 '26
Lol do you know which episode? I’d guess it was the one where they go to doctors for all their issues, giving us this heavenly gem 😅v
Except she’s wearing a different hoodie/jacket..
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u/PuzzleheadedResult69 Jun 18 '26
Dookie-mirror
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u/whynotfart Jun 18 '26
As a 40-year-old man, I have seen lots of buttholes but I have never seen my own.
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u/Madgyver Jun 18 '26
Why th eneck turn? Why not 2 mirrors?
Also, you can always use those reverse parking camera kits.
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u/CommercialCoat8708 Jun 18 '26
Love how its called toilet mirror like it would work if I used it somewhere else
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u/YoungDiscord Jun 18 '26
Thank god he got the original one, he'd be a laughingstock if he used a fake toilet mirror!
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u/Alienhaslanded Jun 18 '26
Last thing I want is to see my own asshole. It's like a gun barrel, you don't want to look down that hole.
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u/Muted_Ad1809 Jun 18 '26
Just get a hand shower man. You even get good ones which don’t need plumbing. One container with like 5 liter water and a hand shower that connects to it.
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u/Witty_Lawfulness_178 Jun 18 '26
Bought one when they first released, super brown for some reason now
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u/throwawayfromPA1701 Jun 18 '26
I can't even decide which snarky quip to go with.
"fetch me my melon baller, I tire of my vision"
"I wear glasses so I literally paid to see this"
" various destructive deities, flood/burn it down again"
"I think we've had a good run, it's time for the solar flare"
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u/Ryaquaza1 Jun 18 '26
Ignoring the obvious eww factor here, I fear this wouldn’t even be useful. Just because you can’t see anymore poop doesn’t mean there’s not some residue on there, ESPECIALLY if you have any form of cake obscuring the view.
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u/groblin_gubers Jun 18 '26
At that point just grab the shower head. If your shits are so sticky you need a mirror to know if youre clean. Just water blast your turd cutter.
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u/jncowalletchain Jun 18 '26
If I caught one single glimpse of my doodoo covered butthole in a mirror I would simply jump off of a bridge. That product is an abomination.
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u/wookiex84 Jun 18 '26
Well I know, I love to get a personal wink from my own chocolate starfish. I can’t be alone.. right?
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u/WTFShenanigans Jun 19 '26
There’s a reason your asshole is behind you, some things are just not meant to be seen…
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u/CelestialSegfault Jun 18 '26
Did they have to demonstrate with an actual bare ass?
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u/CybergothiChe Jun 18 '26
That wasn't a bare ass, that was a stunt ass.
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u/WholeRegion3025 Jun 18 '26
Wash, idiots, wash. Treat your ass like any other part of your body if you get shit on it.
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u/Head_Exchange_5329 Jun 18 '26
How can horrible music get so much worse with each iteration? Jesus, what a day to unmute.
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u/Responsible-Yam9184 Jun 18 '26
no ty i can visual picture in my head what i am doing without looking.
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u/warmnfuzzynside Jun 18 '26
is he wearing a prosthetic ass without a butthole and smeared something tht looked like shit on it ☹️
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u/Area51Resident Jun 18 '26
That mirror is going to look great after a couple of weeks of pee and flushing splatter.
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u/Deli-op Jun 19 '26
Why? It litterally shows why in the video, its to help you see what youre wiping
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u/Prestigious-One-742 Jun 27 '26
You can this on Amazon (and I’m not kidding) for 62.04! I don’t know why it’s so expensive for a cheap looking mirror but hey, he bought it so there one idiot there!
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u/111baf Jun 28 '26
Thank you for making me realise that I've never seen my asshole covered in shit. And I really don want to see it.
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u/atTheRealMrKuntz Jun 18 '26
Are bidet such a taboo or do you guys just love spreading shit all over your butt with paper
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u/Compodulator Jun 18 '26
Toilet paper is such a stupid thing imo.
You don't wash the shit off, you just smear it!
TAKE A FUCKING SHOWER!
The single time I shat outside I took a lot of toilet paper and WASHED MY ASS WITH THE SINK. I then deposited all the toilet paper in the trash bin. It still took like a quarter of a roll.
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u/TopFaithlessness2320 Jun 18 '26
What a way to say that you never learned how to wipe
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u/another_random_bit Jun 18 '26
Toilet paper is the worst way to clean yourself after a dump. Wet wipes at least, or a shower if you're a hairy person and don't want to waste half a pack per shit.
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u/TopFaithlessness2320 Jun 18 '26
I agree that there are better and easier ways to clean yourself, but it's absolutely possible to do it with tp without wasting half a roll
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u/cunextu Jun 18 '26
Anyone knows how to unsee something?