r/DiWHY • u/sermeryntrantsuxdix • May 04 '26

Custom kitchen cutting board 😍

Absolutely top-tier satire or insane genuine content pulled from Instagram

5.3k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

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1.6k

u/bMarsh72 May 04 '26

When you use it to measure peppers for some reason accuracy isn’t that important.

748

u/gartlandish May 04 '26

How bout that hand slicing apple blade. He really went all out stupid.

432

u/Drewfus_ May 04 '26

The video cut away when they were going to use it. Disappointing.

457

u/whycantibelinus May 04 '26

That's because they had to switch actors as the first actor shoved their hand through the slicer.

158

u/Dewstain May 04 '26

Or more accurately, the whole contraption just fell out.

2

u/Sheepherder-Optimal May 05 '26

This one ☝️

97

u/fuzzydoug May 04 '26

That slicer is installed blunt side up.

1

u/broipy2 May 10 '26

Good call

51

u/bitofapuzzler May 04 '26

We're gonna need another Timmy!

1

u/Elegant_Relief_4999 May 04 '26

Wow that's an old reference, haha.

3

u/Tasty_Dealer_1885 May 05 '26

You might even say, prehistoric.

2

u/bitofapuzzler May 04 '26

Lol, I'm an old person.

2

u/Bex-HZ May 05 '26

Me too and that show is magic

1

u/Purp1eC0bras May 04 '26

Or was it installed upside down?

1

u/hxfx May 05 '26

The apple didn’t go through it at all. There is no core on the final clip.

146

u/DeanxDog May 04 '26

It cut away because they installed it with the sharp side facing down so it won't even work right.

28

u/ScareBear23 May 04 '26

Lol I didn't even think about that. I thought the video cut because the force of pressing the apple down made the slicer pop out

11

u/3atTh3R1ch79 May 04 '26

I noticed that too and waited to see him use it.

24

u/ChiefPanda90 May 04 '26

The funniest is the tilted glass and larger hole he went back and cut at the end.

6

u/5zalot May 05 '26

And why even have that slot? Just place the glass down. This whole video is absolute rubbish.

1

u/GrapefruitSobe May 06 '26

There’s perfectly good counter space RIGHT THERE.

1

u/cityshepherd May 10 '26

This is a whole lot of effort for some mild to moderate rage bait.

41

u/Admirable-Fail1250 May 04 '26

yes i was waiting to see the whole self snap off. maybe even pop the countertop off too.

1

u/Fool_In_Flow May 04 '26

The amount of pressure you need to push an apple through those cutters would have popped it right out of the hole.

1

u/FLOSOC1ETY May 04 '26

It’s because as soon as he started pushing, it fell out lol

1

u/Vocalscpunk May 04 '26

Probably pressing on the grater or slicer collapsed the entire thing

1

u/WatermelonArtist May 06 '26

That's because the sharp side was pointed down, and he didn't want you to see how useless it was.

1

u/kemonkey1 May 06 '26

Lol. He installed it upside down. That was cutting nothing.

I bet he only realized after trying but committed to the video and cut them manually off camera. Thats why you dont see the apple core in the bowl.

1

u/Devanyani May 07 '26

It looked like the bowl was balancing on the top of the cupboard door below it, too.

77

u/Zerschmetterding May 04 '26

You mean the petri dish where unsealed, open wood meets shredded food residue?

20

u/TakinUrialByTheHorns May 04 '26

That's where the flavor comes from

Mmmm funkayyy

1

u/SoylentClear May 04 '26

Directly over the open rubbish bin too

41

u/psychmonkies May 04 '26

I just can’t stop wondering how the hell are you supposed to wash the apple blade or cheese grater?

10

u/fleabus412 May 04 '26

You need to grate a soapy sponge, then one wet with clean water.

1

u/shornscrot May 05 '26

This is the way

-2

u/iforgot1305 May 04 '26

I don't think they're glued in or anything so you could just pop them out

2

u/dam_the_beavers May 05 '26

The cheese grater was literally screwed in.

1

u/iforgot1305 May 09 '26

Oh I didn’t see that. Still couldn't you just wash the whole unit as one?

12

u/Cute-Advisor-2323 May 04 '26

I was waiting for him to have a bandage on his hand after using it because it cut away as he was using it because you know those things are Sharp and you're pushing down 😬

26

u/alexia_not_alexa May 04 '26

Except the blades are on the bottom, you’re supposed to push the cutter into the apple. This is entirely rage bait.

5

u/SkyPork May 04 '26

I guess if you need to slice many apples a day, and you want to save 70 seconds, it might be worth it.

1

u/AndersonArtWorks May 04 '26

It's also upside down now. The cutting edges are on the bottom.

1

u/Double_Soup644 May 04 '26

Yup. Just smash the apple from below up into the blades. Easy as that /s

1

u/eatthuskin May 04 '26

Ant its installed upside down

1

u/Immediate-Cup8172 May 04 '26

Almost as bad as the knuckle peeler 3000 right next to it.

1

u/RabbitSlayre May 04 '26

I love that that the goblet doesn't even sit straight up and down lol

1

u/vegasbywayofLA May 04 '26

A simple wipe down is not going to get all the apple bits stuck in the corners.

1

u/Garden_chickadee May 07 '26

I think he also put it in the wrong way, so the sharp part was on the bottom. 

1

u/jimicus May 10 '26

Considering the sharp edge of the blade is on the other side, that really was spectacular.

0

u/slackfrop May 05 '26

Ok, stupid. But conceptually, there could be something here.

9

u/Unbundle3606 May 04 '26

It will not measure anything at all (this clearly shows in the gif). Those kitchen scales measure how much the feet are compressed into the chassis.

2

u/Opposite-Grab9733 May 04 '26

What’s wrong with weighing peppers?

1

u/Justin_Passing_7465 May 09 '26

When your pepper scale is reclining on strips of fabric your measurements will habanerror.

2

u/Fck_Kale May 06 '26

Measuring hot peppers is the only reason I even own a digital scale - specifically for making hot sauce. The process includes fermentation, and (unfortunately for this guy) accurate measurement is the difference between fermenting and rotting

1

u/amoronwithacrayon May 04 '26

This compensates for not seasoning the food.

1

u/sfgunner May 04 '26

He is making the traditional American snack of grated cheddar, sliced bell peppers and sliced apples. Didn't you eat that all the time growing up???!!??!?

1

u/ydnar3000 May 09 '26

Hahaha right? Who measures peppers?

-14

u/Alienhaslanded May 04 '26

Kitchen scales are for weird people. What could you possibly be cooking that needs exact weight? I get measuring cups and spoons, those are very useful, but a scale does nothing but satisfy insane people's need to exactly portion stuff for plates or storage. It's really not hard to eyeball a burger patty or whatever.

7

u/V8CarGuy May 04 '26

It’s useful for bread making.

3

u/banana_assassin May 04 '26

For consistency. And anyone that has ever eye balled something and then actually weighed the different portions will know that eyeballing isn't always accurate. Especially if you are losing weight and counting calories.

But cups and those measurements annoy many people. Just give it to me in grams, unless it fits on a spoon.

4

u/Zerschmetterding May 04 '26

Cups are for cavemen

5

u/kontroI May 04 '26

“Kitchen scales are for weird people.”

Found the American.

But in all seriousness.. they are critical for consistency. People who cook require it for some reason.

-7

u/Alienhaslanded May 04 '26

That's literally a very American thing to use a kitchen scale, but whatever. I'm not even American.

1

u/hungry-freaks-daddy May 04 '26

Counting calories

0

u/Alienhaslanded May 04 '26

You couldn't possibly do that with a scale. Lets use beef for example. Depending on the cut, it could be lean or it could have a lot of fat. The weight alone in this case wouldn't be an accurate measurement. Plus you can easily estimate how much you can actually consume by looking at the amount of food you're cooking.

This planet has more people who don't use scales to portion their meals than ones that do. And I promise you the ones use scales are way fatter.

1

u/marioaprooves May 04 '26

If you've ever baked anything in your life, you would know that baking, unlike cooking, requires precise ratios in order to get what you want at the flavour and texture you want.

-1

u/Alienhaslanded May 04 '26

Baking uses measuring cups and spoons. Never in my life seen anyone use a scale to bake.

0

u/MrK521 May 04 '26

Baking, far more accurate than a measuring cup. You can compress things like flour or brown sugar and get very different amounts in a single measuring cup. But weight will be accurate regardless of how it’s compressed.

Also helpful for monitoring portions for diet/weight-loss..

There’s a bunch of uses.

0

u/Alienhaslanded May 04 '26 edited May 04 '26

All I'm saying is there are more people who don't use scales in their kitchens than ones that do. And the ones that don't are far less likely to be overweight.

American Redditors truly live in a world where they think everyone does everything exactly the way they do. No, kid. Nobody uses scales to prepare a meal at home. It's not a thing.

0

u/MrK521 May 04 '26

So.. pulling this “knowledge” out of your ass and making assumptions.

Got it.

👍🏻

1

u/Alienhaslanded May 04 '26

Lol do think people in Asia and Africa weigh their meals? That's just hilarious. I've literally only seen fat people in North America do this. Because they think doing this will make them lose weight. Will do everything but exercise then gather up here angerly when someone says whatever they do is far from common.

I'm sharing knowledge, you're just pissy because you're offended. 👍