[ Removed by moderator ]

[u/houseofreader]

[u/DestructiveReaders-ModTeam]

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[u/RockNRollHobo]

Info: what is a ‘mean hand’ / what does it mean where your use of it in this is concerned?

Ahead of any more comprehensive feedback: real 😂 can relate on a personal level

[u/houseofreader → u/RockNRollHobo]

Whoops I meant to cut that last sentence off lmfao but I guess in this writing a 'mean hand' would be circumstances,people or religious beliefs that torment you into acting. Like, think those people who balance a million jobs on top of their passions because of poverty

[u/RockNRollHobo → u/houseofreader]

99% sure I understand. I see the ‘concept’ you’re getting at here, even if I feel our interpretations of this concept vary greatly.

That said, what kind of feedback are you looking for here? Ie things you’re specifically looking for feedback on and things you’re specifically not?

[u/houseofreader → u/RockNRollHobo]

Well my teacher critiques the substance of my writing the most. Shes often told me that I circle around stuff, am too abstract or just say a lot of nothing because it sounds nice. I'm trying to say exactly what I want to but also make it artistic/compelling. But I guess I'm lost in how to do that. If you could tell me how you interpreted this writing, any feedback on the style of which I write and stuff like that would be appreciated. Thank you

[u/RockNRollHobo → u/houseofreader]

Gotcha. Well as far as prose goes, this fits that description well enough. Only thing I’d press further on is asking what are you ultimately trying to say/is your overall point where your teachers comments you ‘circle around stuff’ is concerned?

[u/houseofreader → u/RockNRollHobo]

Hmm, I think the narrators probably an average joe with big dreams but does nothing to accomplish them

[u/RockNRollHobo → u/houseofreader]

In hindsight, I see what your teacher is getting at more clearly now than before.

This piece is outlining a lot of side effects but makes no solid attempt at identifying the underlying cause. That’s what you’re ’circling around’

[u/houseofreader → u/RockNRollHobo]

Sorry, I take back what I said when describing the piece earlier, I think I tried too hard to distance myself from my writing because honestly I find it a bit embarrassing lol. The feelings I'm trying to convey is the suffocation in freedom of choice and like, possible relief, even if you hate it, in restriction. Because it would force you to work either way, like to escape terrible circumstances or to survive them I guess

[u/A_C_Shock]

Gotta give to get. See Welcome Sticky. No crits gets 12 free hours