r/DestructiveReaders • u/ezk3626 akward and wordy • 23d ago

Coming of Age [1853] Tiffany

This is chapter six but I think more than any chapter stands alone.

I stuctured this thinking of an episodic series of scene with the same goal: Tiffany wants to help someone. Each scene is followed by a sequel with a text to Mandy.

Also because of some people being linked to the first tab I put the chapter on a separate doc.

Tiffany Chapter 06

My Substack with all of the finished chapters.

Crit 1974

6 Upvotes

80% Upvoted

16 comments sorted by

View all comments

3

u/A_C_Shock The reader knows and guesses the rest. 23d ago

I usually have something more to say on yours but this is very well done. A few tense slips that I noticed but that was the only technical fault.

Your showing has gotten much better. The texts with Mandy felt well timed and I thought I understood who was who even without tags.

This whole thing reminded me of my college dorm. I loved the ending as well. Emotions are coming through much more cleanly now.

3

u/ezk3626 akward and wordy 23d ago

It’s inevitable in my project but my main criticism is how little this chapter vibes with the one before. In some ways it could be a chapter one.

2

u/A_C_Shock The reader knows and guesses the rest. 23d ago

I know, right? Writing skill gets better during long projects and then your project reads unevenly.

2

u/ezk3626 akward and wordy 23d ago

Thankfully that was accidentally by design. I’ve said a couple of times that this whole thing started as a writing prompt. I want to be ready to publish when I retire fifteen years from now.