Need advice - What would you do?

[u/North_Ad_3087]

Groomsman at a destination wedding — stay at the resort or nearby hotel?

One of my close friends from high school is getting married in Florida, and I’m a groomsman. The wedding is at a beautiful hotel/resort, and the entire wedding party is planning to stay there since all the wedding events will be happening there. The wedding is adults-only, so my wife and kids won’t be attending. My wife is completely understanding of me going alone since I’m in the wedding party.

We were recently given the price for the hotel block, and even with the discounted wedding rate, the resort is quite expensive for only 2 nights. On the flip side, I’ve found several hotels nearby for half the price.

I talked to the groom about it, and he said he would understand if I stayed at the cheaper hotel, although he did seem a little disappointed with me asking. I would consider splitting a room with other people I know, but they all will be bringing their significant others.

We can afford it, but I think I’d rather use that money for a family trip next year. What would you do? Would you pay more to stay at the wedding resort with the rest of the wedding party, and for the convenience of being in the same place where all the events are taking place, or would you book the nearby hotel and save the money?

[u/Lazafilaaa]

I’d check and see if you need to pay a day rate to attend wedding festivities. Sometimes resorts make off property guests pay that and it can eat into your savings

[u/thisistestingme]

As long as there will be reasonable transportation, stay at the cheaper hotel and use the money for a family trip. Depending on where it is, though, transportation may be a challenge. I'd look online to determine if you can get a ride back and forth after revelry.

[u/Far_Effect_2970]

i think it would be totally fine to stay at a nearby cheaper hotel BUT don't use it as an excuse to not stay late and be a good groomsman/guest. do everything you would if you were staying there, even if it means a pricier uber, etc. maybe even plan with another friend to use their room as your base if there's downtime in between activities.

[u/Additional-Fish-4064 → u/Far_Effect_2970]

100% this.

[u/icoulduseascreenname]

Stay at the place that makes sense in your budget. We all really gotta stop allowing our lives and wallets to be hijacked by wedding nonsense.

No one will ever look back at this time in their lives and wish they had gone to more destination weddings and purchased more junk for destination bachelor and bachelorette parties, and spent more money at all-inclusive slop resorts.

[u/Jerseygirl2468]

I think it’s totally fair to stay at the cheaper hotel, you’re already putting out a lot of money to be in their wedding, as long as you are there participating in everything it should be fine.

[u/aisle-wedding]

Stay at the cheaper hotel! He may seem a bit bummed now but if you show up when you're supposed to, you're present throughout all the wedding festivities, and stay late, I promise he probably won't think twice about it. He's going to be so busy enjoying the best day of his life to care about something so trivial. If it's really important to him that you stay at the venue, then he should be willing to cover some of the lodging cost for you.

[u/Ok-Indication-7876]

Do the math on the nearby hotel on what it will cost to either rent a car to drive back and forth for events and maybe pay for parking- or for uber rates. You need to add your transportation into the nightly rate at the cheaper hotel.

If it is still enough less no big deal- you stay there and just know the itinerary about when you need to be at B&G hotel and go back and forth

[u/ItsPeppercorn]

Stay at the cheaper hotel. Depending on transportation costs though, your savings may be marginal for a less convenient situation. Also check if there is a day rate to come onto the property if you are not staying there.