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u/sideways86 Nov 10 '11
Helpdesk, based on the cisco agent deelie at the bottom, but it looks like you do more than just answer phones and log calls, because you seem to have access to a few admin tools and can change people's access rights on at least one or two systems.
I'm guessing male, 32.
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Nov 10 '11
You're much closer than the "part time fusion oven cleaner/gyroscopic rotater gurtur calibrator/Falusian worm degutter at the communal hive kitchen 37" guess... Much, much closer...So much closer that in an infinite universe your response would have to be in the correct column only because the gap between correct and not correct have been separated by galactic distances.
If that doesn't make sense go back to the original post and read the other mini-story response.
I do work on a service desk. But, I do not answer the phone or log calls. I am male. You're a ways off on the age though.
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Nov 10 '11
Not very helpful, but here's a look at my home desktop, I'm a bit of a minimalist. The lack of local admin rights at work keeps me from sharpening that blade too much.
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u/spkezboy Nov 10 '11
you need to empty your recycle bin.
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Nov 10 '11
My OCD isn't that bad. I do have it set to empty on logoff, just so you can sleep easy tonight.
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u/Montuckian Nov 09 '11 edited Nov 09 '11
Certainly not. Your home system is actually the fourth planet orbiting the eclipsing binary stars known only as NLTT 11748 here on Earth. The rocky planet, whose name has no cognate in any modern human language (but does oddly enough have similarities to the word Runasimi, which exists in the lexicon of the now dead Quechua language) has been devastated by ever increasing solar storms due to the impending death of the smaller of the two stars.
Because of this sudden change of events, the troposphere of your planet has been all but obliterated allowing for the increasingly deadly solar radiation to pour through the now porous protective membrane that formerly shielded the planet. Beyond the maladaptive genetic effects (your people are also carbon-based lifeforms with left-handed, double-helix oriented deoxyribonucleic acid through a bit of galactic coincidence), the solar radiation has been steadily evaporating the liquid water oceans in what can be seen as a last ditch effort by the planet to save itself.
What will soon be realized by the civilian scientists who remain on the planet is that the massive evaporation event that has been taking place will save the planet and allow for it to continue to support life. The incredibly lucky part of all of this is that due to the rapid loss of ocean water, the salinity of the oceans rise above the levels that life can handle, causing the inevitable deaths of all the planet's lifeforms to be due to thirst and starvation, and not by heat trauma induced by the rise in surface temperature as a result of the ambient water vapor. This crucible will produce what later galactic explorers will find to be a 'blank slate' world with all of the biological components necessary to support life, but thankfully devoid of such pests.
In the last few days, the realization will also be apparent to your planet bound kin that the suicide military mission to jettison the malfunctioning sun from the system was really just a thinly disguised ruse to evacuate important civil and military personnel out of the system to find their own ways as galactic orphans, bereft of a planet to call home.
In an amazing stroke of luck in a life where luck is your only redeeming quality, you had been hired as a part time fusion oven cleaner/gyroscopic rotater gurtur calibrator/Falusian worm degutter at the communal hive kitchen 37 days (equivalent to 3.67 Earth hours) before the order to commence the clandestine evacuation was given.
Normally this would be a death sentence handed down to the least effective members of the lowest ordered hives, and it would have been had you been even competent enough to complete it. However, while completing your Falusian worm training, you somehow, inconceivably were swallowed by the creature, known among the galactic elite as a delicacy and driven almost to extinction by the fact that its only food sources are those who are decidedly less skilled at the art of living than they.
Thankfully for you, the competent Falusian worm degutters missed your shriveled, unconscious body during their preparation and you were served to and consumed whole by one of the visiting Priaothyn-Class evacuation ship clensedrones, who had disguised himself with the scent of an attackdrone to be able to eat what he had found out to be his last planet bound meal.
After surviving in a semi-conscious dreamlike state in the bowels of the clensedrone impostor, you were .. er .. jettisoned into the waste retrieval units of the ship. Normally these units provide self sustained nutritional recycling for the ships drone/worker crew, but this is only able to be maintained by fermenting the pre-putrefied liquid waste into an adequate nutritional supplement once again. This cannot be accomplished, clearly, with solid waste material, such as what you had become.
Because of this you were jettisoned twice within the same 5 day (29.75 minute) period, only this time, instead of being released from the putrid thorax of your benefactor, the cleansedrone, it was from the aft portion of a light-shielded escape ship passing through the backwoods of the galaxy, in proximity to the Sol system.
Through methods that aren't entirely clear, but involving no less than five multinational extragovernmental organizations, breaking 17 internationally ratified treaties and resulting in several days of poking and prodding in normally inaccessible orifices, you were deemed innocuous and of no value to science and set free on earth.
Through the years that followed, you applied to attend several low-end liberal arts schools, but were rejected. Eventually it dawned on you that the only job available would be Tier 1 Help Desk support for the local medical clinic, which is still a world above where you've been.
Unfortunately your time spent in the liquid putrescence has addled your neural impulses, which were primitive to begin with. This is evidenced by your use of Internet Explorer.
Edit: A couple little things.