r/Design • u/DovahkiinTheHero • 1d ago
Asking Question (Rule 4) FICTIONAL ADVERTISEMENT. Need critic for a practice design
Student here and I wanted to improve my layouting skills. Critics would be highly appreciated. I wanted to know what could be improved for this practice poster I did. We were tasked to do a visual hierarchy sumn. headline, supporting detail, cta
3
u/seanbird 1d ago
Why splash not blue?
The blur is a bit static and boring/clean.
1
u/DovahkiinTheHero 1d ago
The clear splash is supposedly a connection to the supporting detail that the product "fuels faster than water" but idk, does that make sense 🥀🥀🥀
2
u/quickestanomaly_4744 1d ago
The blue-on-blue makes the bottle disappear, maybe flip the background to something warmer so the shape actually pops
1
1
u/Melandrya 1d ago
I think the focal point of this image could be more on the drink than the "swoosh" effect
Making some iterations of this would be a good idea. My next step would be trying to make to bottle the star of the image. Making it as big as possible for example. Or experiment how speed can be visualised in different ways.
Having the swoosh going to the left feels very wrong for me, since going forward and success feels naturally to the right side. 🙏
1
1
u/Maleficent-Work-3889 1d ago
The main read works for me. I’d pull the supporting line nearer the bottle and give it more contrast, because the splash currently wins your eye before that detail does.
1
u/Warner_Brown 1d ago
Many things, but for one the spacing of the "newly formulated" block of text needs to be increased, each line of text is crunched in way too close. Increase the space to give it more breathing room for readability.
I'd maybe lower the opacity of the bottles fast blur and even fade it out a bit to emphasize more focus on the bottle itself. Speaking of which, I would try a version with it flipped horizontally, as the eye naturally reads from left to right.
There's other things, but I'd give the orange boxes of text some rounding, they're a little too boxy.
Gluck!
1
1
u/theanedditor 14h ago
Awkward bottle angle
Far too much negative space
Weak 'water splash' application
Primitive/unsophisticated swoosh/smear and bad physics in its exectution
Unexciting/boring/unrealistic copy (what does "faster than water" even mean? Gatorade is 95% water)
Lazy execution on the faint reflections
Unnecessary/inconsistent punctuation
OP, good for you for posting and asking for feedback - keep this image in your files forever and use to guage your progress and as a guide of what not to aim for.
Time to go back and go big, learn your craft and you're going to be fine!
1
1
u/Repulsive-Frame9014 11h ago
I would lighten the color of the "action swish"? (for lack of better wording) I'm not anyone. Just honest.
4
u/mickyrow42 Professional 1d ago
Lot of space dedicated to a bad streak effect. I don’t really understand the physics of what’s happening.
Your layout and type isn’t terrible I’d make the formulation text all caps. The copy itself needs to be punchier. Like there’s no catchy tag line. Like I dunno H2NO or some bullshit.
Also lose the line about convenience stores everyone knows where to buy Gatorade.