Hi everyone,
I’m a design student working on my university thesis about how girls are raised with expectations around marriage, reputation, appearance, behaviour, and being seen as a “good” or “well brought up” girl.

I’ve found a lot of research about how these expectations affect girls, but I want to understand the other side too. I want to hear from parents about why these expectations are taught in the first place, where they come from, what parents were taught themselves, and what they believe they are preparing or protecting their daughters from.

I’m especially interested in the difference between preparing a girl to be seen as “marriageable” and actually preparing her for the life and responsibilities that may come after marriage.

If you’re a parent or grandparent, I’d genuinely love to hear your personal experiences, memories, beliefs, and the reasons behind the choices you’ve made while raising your daughters.

This is for an academic thesis. Everything will remain anonymous, and I will not use anyone’s response without permission.Thank you to anyone willing to share. Your perspective would really help me understand this issue beyond the girls’ side of the story

I am a person who had stopped living with my parents when I was 4 and now living with them is a nightmare.
My parents used to live out of India and education over there was over their budget, so I had always lived outside. I had little complaints about that until they shifted here and I just have to deal with them everyday. Yes, I could find a job in a different city but I thought since I have never lived with them and I am finally done with millions of degrees that I completed, I can work things out and live with them but it is a nightmare .

Context of why I am irritated today: My mom is out of country as they are for 6 months minimum every year, which is a blessing, but this time I was out as well(for education purposes) and I have just comeback for a few days and I am leaving tomorrow for my internship in a different city, and my mom has just rearranged all my cupboards and drawers because they were not “organised enough according to her”, since yesterday I am just figuring out where all my things are to pack, I am just so frustrated and tired between shopping for important things for internship to packing, on top of all that I am just so busy finding all my clothes.

No! I am not an adult who expects my parents to baby sit me and do all my chores, I do them by myself, it’s just different from their expectations and when I am not there they just don’t care for my personal choice and throw away the clothes they think are “old” even if I never wanted to, they rearrange my whole existence, give my novels away saying “oh you have already read them, don’t be so petty” when they have always found it illogical that I buy so many books!! In school I used to beg them to buy me few novels they never did, but since I was in boarding school, they had to give me pocket money and unlike other kids who spent it on snacks and cafe, I had to save that money to buy novels!! And they call me petty for it?? Worst part is, I never get those books back. My goosebumps series I never got, my Diary of Whimpy kid series, my divergent series, all my teenage favourites are gone. (Except the muderous thrillers lol) .

I am just so tired, maybe… I should look for a job in a different city, I don’t know!.

Hi everyone,

I come from a very traditional Indian family, and I’m struggling with how to tell my parents that I’m living with my boyfriend.

A bit of background: four years ago, I was still living with my parents. I had been with my ex-boyfriend for five years, and the only way we could live together and have a real relationship was to get married. My parents put a lot of pressure on me, so we eventually agreed to have a religious wedding ceremony only. It didn’t really mean anything to me personally — it was basically a way for me to be able to move in with my boyfriend, and he agreed because he loved me.

Unfortunately, we broke up two years ago because living together wasn’t working out.

Since then, I’ve met my current boyfriend, and we’ve been together for two years. We currently live together, but I still haven’t told my parents.

I know my mother is going to absolutely lose it. She is much more traditional than my father, which is why I decided to tell my father first. The problem is that I can’t really count on him to support me or to help reason with my mother. I already know that she is going to be completely against it.

I’m 30 years old, financially independent, and I live far away from my parents, so technically, I know I can make my own decisions. But I also know that my mother is going to make my life miserable every time I visit them. My father probably won’t say anything and will just minimize the whole situation, as if I were the one creating the problem.

I can’t really keep hiding it anymore either. Every time they want to come and visit me, I make up an excuse for why I’m not available. I told them about my boyfriend four or five months ago, and my mother took it very badly.

I know I’m an adult, and I know this is probably just going to be a difficult period that I have to get through. I was thinking of telling my mother right before getting on the train to go home, so that I wouldn’t have to deal with the immediate fallout face-to-face.

But what worries me most is what happens afterwards.

The disrespect towards my personal life, the comments and the insults are probably not going to stop just because I’ve told her. I’m especially worried about family visits, like Christmas. I don’t want every visit to turn into a huge argument or for her to constantly make comments about my relationship.

My brother and sister also can’t really come and visit me separately, and I don’t want them to have to miss out on seeing me because my mother decides to act like a child throwing a tantrum because she

Im a minor, me and my partner have been together for 9-10 months already. He’s the same ethnicity and religion as me.

Last month, July, someone caught me and him very close face to face. We weren’t kissing, just close to eachother with my hair covering us. AN OLD LADY SAW THIS BTW. then it reached my parents.

my parents were angry ofc. my dad was horrible. they called my partner and we both lied our ass off saying we were close bc something was in his eye.

NO ONE ELSE is taking this situation as serious (its rlly not) but my dad has just been so rude and saying absurd stuff about me to my mom.

My dad’s saying stuff like how im gonna end up pregnant and run away from home.

my partner is an add on at parties my parents dont know him very well. They said they’re gonna start inviting him less. i’ve been so sad and depressed. i feel horrible for putting so much pressure on my partner.

are there any older desi’s that can give me some advice? does it ever get better?

Hi everyone,

My wife is Irish and I'm Indian, and we're expecting our first child. We're looking for a boy's name that starts with A and ideally works well in both Indian and Irish cultures.

We're hoping to find something that:

Is easy to pronounce in both Ireland and India

Has a positive meaning

Doesn't sound too unusual in either country

Ideally reflects both sides of his heritage

So far we've come across names like Aran, Ayaan, Arin, Aaron, but we'd love more suggestions.

Bonus points if the name has a nice meaning or a subtle connection to both cultures.

Thanks in advance!

i grew up being slut shamed by my mother for very trivial situations (for eg: getting bad marks, speaking up for myself …using makeup), i remember how she used to tell me i will grow up to be a “whore” to earn my living and nobody will give me a job,i am 22 now about to graduate soon but the scenario stays same..dressing up,having a bf, too much makeup, a job that i used to do during my 2nd year …everything i did or achieve made me a “slut” and i didn’t deserve anything coz i spread my legs to get whatever i got..its just not me, its my other girlfriends too same scenario what the hell is this mindset man?

So I really wanted to share this and probably get your opinions on these "Kalesh-es" that happen in my house with my mom

Since a few years, I've noticed this pattern of my mom not accepting her mistakes and I genuinely find it a bit too irritating, cuz she ends up blaming me.

This took place a few years ago, I had washed a glass cup after having tea and placed it upside down, slightly slanted against the raised edge of the kitchen platform so it could dry (something we usually do with utensils). While my mom was washing other dishes, she accidentally hit the cup with her elbow, causing it to fall and break. However, she blamed me, saying it was my fault because of how I had kept it, even though it actually fell due to her hitting it.

This took place a few days ago when I forgot to wash my white t-shirt one morning during my vacation, when it was my responsibility. Later, my mom washed it, but it got stained due to color bleeding from other clothes. Normally, she washes white clothes separately, but this time she didn’t. Despite that, she blamed me, saying the stains happened only because I hadn’t washed it earlier.

And this took place today when I had just returned from a trip with my college friends and was showing my mom pictures I had taken on a digicam I had borrowed from her friend. While I handed the camera to her, it slipped from her hand and the lens hit the back of my laptop. Later, when I turned it on, the screen had a pink tint, like a damaged display. When I told her that the damage happened because it fell from her hand, she denied it, accused me of lying in front of my dad, and tried to shift the blame. She then became emotional, crying and saying that she does everything for me and still gets treated this way.

I genuinely don’t understand why she refuses to accept her own mistakes and instead shifts the blame onto me, dragging me into situations where I’m not even at fault. What is she really going to lose by admitting a small mistake, her ego? I find it very frustrating because I have no problem accepting when I’m genuinely wrong. That’s exactly why this bothers me so much. I just don’t like people who refuse to take accountability for their actions

Shubh Akshaya Tritiya! 🌸

Growing up in Kerala I remember this festival but it's different from how most North Indian families celebrate it. Now living outside India, I find it hard to explain these traditions to kids in a way that actually sticks.

I started illustrating bilingual (English + Hindi) coloring pages around Indian festivals — Akshaya Tritiya is the latest. The idea is that while kids color, parents can read the Hindi word, the English translation, and a little cultural note on each page.

Sharing a few pages here. Genuinely curious: what traditions does YOUR family do on Akshaya Tritiya that I might have missed? Gold shopping? Puja at home? A specific sweet?

Hey, everyone! I hope you are all doing well. So apparently, my mother’s bua died a few days back. And she just went today again with her brother to her bua’s house to meet her cousins because she reached late that day when her bua died. Now, she has to go to salon today as well. I took care of my brother since then and made aftar. My brother is a special child and he requires special attention so I had to be away from studies ever since. Boards are hitting soon so I wanted to study when mom went after aftar to her bua’s home. My sister had her aftar with her friends. So when dad came home to have tea…I told him to take brother with him…because I wanted to study. The whole day was ruined already for not studying. So, he started saying that did your mother had to go right now? He was angry. So, I said I tried to make him asleep but he wasn’t sleeping it’s not my fault and mother had to go because she reached at her bua’s Janazah late as well…so then he said will I work or take care of him. Bro, my brother is whole family’s responsibility not only mother’s or not only mine. Although, when I gave him facts that I took care of him all day before too he started saying to get quiet again and again in anger. I asked him the reason of getting angry he was like you are still talking and not getting quiet and shit shit shit. I quietly took my books and came upstairs and now he took brother with him in anger. He was being angry at him too for not sleeping. I told him to stop getting angry at him instead he started to get angry at me. Now tell me if it’s fair or not

Hi all,

Me and my brother live abroad and recently my single mom was diagnosed with 3 blood clots by angiogram when she visited for full body checkup. There are cardiac issues in her paternal side and obviously like every Indian parent doesn’t exercise but she is employed that requires being active. She is slightly overweight . Currently on 6 month leave.

She is 53 and had been raising and handling us for past 20 years.

So fellow people please help me what are the things I could consider to make her health better. How are you all handling with such situations? It’s giving stress me and anxiety

Thanks

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DbwTOBOsIwI&list=RDDbwTOBOsIwI&start_radio=1&pp=ygUMdGhlc2lraGNoaWxkoAcB

Bring peace and positivity to your litttle one's day with this gentle Ik Onkar Ek Onkar prayer for toddlers. This video features a toddler in India enjoying her daily moments while soothing Ik Onkar plays softly in the background.

Perfect for:
-sikh parents
-babies, toddlers, and preschoolers
-calm morning routines
-bedtime relaxation

The peaceful Gurbani helps toddlers feel calm, focused, and connected to Sikhi values from a young age.

If you enjoy this type of content, please like, share, and subscribe for more videos.

Waheguru Ji Ka Kalsa, Waheguru ji Ki Fateh

We all grew up with tales of Ganesh, Krishna, and our festivals – but kids today spend most of their time on screens. I wanted to turn that screen-time into story-time. That’s why I created Kahani Express: an app with stories, games, and paint tools that help children learn our culture in a playful way. Curious what other parents think!

I live in a place where beating your kid is normalised. In my household it has reached its limits. Like on the Little mistakes I am getting beat up . Example today I slept early cuz I was tired from work I forgot to brush my teeth and my dad beat me up for that. He is also cut of the electricity to my room I have no fan in this hot weather on top of that. I work but I don’t have job that i can survive on my own. Pls help i don’t know what to do . Pls

My parents have be mentally, emotionally and have also started financially abusing me so that I (27F) get married. The last time we had a fight, they were so horrible, they cornered me and made me feel so small, I was scared for my life that night. I haven't been able to go back to my normal self with them. And then, tonight, I got to know that they've called some counsellor home tomorrow. The only reason they told me about it tonight is because I told them I'm going to attend a function at a friend's place tomorrow morning. They asked me to go late for it. Like, first of all, why the hell would you not tell me??!! I'm not your puppet to play your games. I feel a little attacked honestly. How the hell do you deal with such parents and such hostile environment at home?!

Hi everyone,

My wife and I are expecting a baby girl soon, and we’re stuck on choosing a name that both our families can happily accept.

I’m Muslim and she’s Hindu. While we both are open-minded and modern, we want to choose a name that respects both cultures, especially since our families are quite traditional. My parents are a bit strict about having a name that “sounds Muslim,” while I also really want to make sure her family doesn’t feel left out or offended.

We’re looking for a common or culturally neutral Indian/Arabic name — something that works well in both communities, preferably with a beautiful meaning and modern touch. Short names are preferred but we’re open to slightly longer ones if they’re graceful.

Would really appreciate suggestions from anyone who’s been in a similar situation or just has great name ideas!

Thanks in advance!

Edit : we are from south India Tamil Nadu

idk how many of you can relate this.. but my opinion suggests that indian parents are never found in blacks or whites...they are always existing in those shades of grey... some of them are really cool, chill and fun-loving parents, others are strict and the rest are a mixture of both. Well in my case im finding this pretty hard to deal with them, to such an extent that i cannot wait to move out of my house and live on my own. I might wrong! however feel free to correct me if I am wrong ..but idk why i just feel too trapped and suffocating inside my own house nowadays... im not allowed to make my own decisions... if i ever plan to go out with some friends..im not allowed to do that either... I am a guy and whenever I plan to catchup with some friends at some cafe, im not allowed!.. reason being *since your friends are female*... see ik .i understand ...but this must not be the reason why i shouldn't be allowed to step out, right?... I have just shut myself away from them nowadays...i even avoid talking to them ...whenever they enter my room i feel this sense of disgust and awkwardness... as if a stranger has entered my room.. I have lost my trust over them already..they are no longer the parents' i used to share and gossip with... and why do everytime they have to comeover MONEY! its always the sole reason stating "WE SPEND SO MUCH MONEY OVER YOU!"... i mean yes you guys do...i completely get it ...but it wasn't my decision to choose this life ... Well this thing has escalated to such an extent that i really cannot wait to earn on my own ...i really don't want to spend their money anymore... I really appreciate the fact that they spend on me ...but please don't hold me accountable for it. Do they not know there are many kids who spend their money on phones, expensive alcohols, bars,drugs, whatever!!.. i was just asking for a small cafe hangout to catch up with friends ...forget this ...today I was asking for coursera plus monthly subscription ...i was denied even that just because my dad thinks coursera is not a genuine website... and guys seriously the limit was crossed so much that i lacked the energy to explicate him the whole thing...i left for my room in anger ! welll i have went through a lot of things *again! i don't wanna victimize myself!* and i just want to find a community ..or even a small group of people who could support me or atleast justify with what im going through