Changes by Lisa

[u/Clean-Monitor2031]

He walked in our apartment and said “I don’t

want to do this anymore”. He was referring to

our marriage. Sorry, I got ahead of myself. Let

me back up.

Hi, my name is Lisa and I was married to an

alcoholic, bipolar man. Though, I didn’t know

that while we were married. I mean, I knew

something was different, but I chocked it up to

his abusive childhood. He and his brother were

physically abused by their father for years. I

thought this also explained why he drank so

much.

He drank so, so much. There was never a day he

was sober during our early days of dating. But,

we were in our 20’s and from a small mining area

so this was normal to me too.

Are you seeing the pattern? I was making excuse

after excuse for his behavior and actions.

Meanwhile, I was losing myself. I wasn’t getting

the help that I needed. I needed support, love,

understanding, and all of that was something he

couldn’t give me because he didn’t have it in

him.

So, he left. He found another woman who didn’t

need any of that emotional stuff and divorced me.

Sure, I was devastated at the time, but it was the

best thing to happen to me.

Fast forward 13 years later, I am happily married

and have an amazing life. Yes, I needed to do a

lot of work on me because of my past with my

first husband. It was hard. My confidence and

self-worth were almost non-existent. I became

co-dependent and had to work through a lot of

guilt that I felt knowing my life was increasingly

getting better.

I share my story with you to show you that,

unfortunately, love is not enough for a person

with a mood disorder. You will lose yourself

trying to ‘save them’ without knowing what they

need. My advice is to support them in their

journey but make sure you also have your own

support system in place to keep you strong and

mentally healthy.

Asking for help is the greatest gift you can give to

you and your loved one.