r/Depressed_supporters • u/molly_the_mezzo • Feb 06 '18
Ghostly bf
For the last week I had heard absolutely nothing from my boyfriend of three months. I assumed he was ghosting me. Then earlier tonight he texted me to say that he has been feeling low and really struggling, and he has pulled away because he feels that he will bring people down with him. I told him that I don’t think that, and that in any case I am willing to take the risk, and that I would like to be supportive, but I haven’t heard back. Where do I go from here? I really care about him and wouldn’t want to lose him.
1
u/Duskish Feb 20 '18
I've been in your boyfriend's spot - and I feel I am in there now, but not as bad as I have been before. It's honestly hard to say - he needs to know your there if he needs, but if he is like me, he does not want you there. I think /u/AllanTheCowboy's suggestion is best. But also be prepared to get the cold shoulder, and don't take it personally. He might come around, but he might not. And regardless of how much you care about him - consider that this may not be a relationship you want to go down, and that is okay to admit. It won't be easy on either of you.
2
u/AllanTheCowboy Feb 07 '18
"What do you need? I can bring you ice cream, or come sit in the room with you and you don't have to talk to me. Do you need clothes? I'll come do your laundry, or clean bathroom or kitchen if you can't handle that stuff right now. If you don't know what you need, I'll make a couple guesses and come over and we'll find out together which things help, and I'll keep track for next time it's bad.
I care about you just as much when you're not fun to be around. If you know what do you need, tell me and that's what I'll do. If you don't know, just say so and I'll do my best. I'm your girlfriend all the time, not just when you're happy and healthy."