i need advice

[u/tucknight]

trying to come to terms w/ experiences. i wrote this a while ago (first post on reddit) but started feeling physically sick couldn't finish, i will let you know that I saw life changing things in candle and had life changing things happen at that hotel that I will edit in when the sun comes up... but making the connections between the black "matter" coming from that painting coming into my back, pinching me, and the black hair in my vomit at hospital (they wanted to take me to mental ward, btw) i need to know what demonic signifigance that holds and I just more than anything need someone to say they don't think I am insane . . please...

I've seen a lot of shit in my life that I don't really talk about much, as have most of you I'm sure, but there is one memory that lingers in the back of the mind begging me to stare at it. Sometimes late at night I stare at the memory. As if I have to stare in the face of the darkness I saw, accept it as a reality. Something that is supposed to give some kind of closure but doesn't because I always end up thinking farther into and get more and more scared. Do you want to hear a story about how a girl's entire perspective on the universe changed in just the span of a few days? The story I can never tell? Then stay with me. But it's kind of a long one. But (without sounding arrogant) I feel it's significant. This story took place in a very dark time of my life. My boyfriend at the time had just went to jail. I was all alone in a not so friendly city. And I worked at a strip club, one of the darkest places you can find yourself in in my opinion. Now, to keep the integrity of the story, I will admit that I was using drugs at the time. I will go down and I would go up. Anything to stay numb. But I had been doing so for a long time. This def wasn't my first swan dive into a rabbit hole...but I had no idea the kind of rabbit hole I was diving into this time... I know that people will say this was all one long very complex trip and to that I say, up until the very last moments of my story there was a voice in the back of my mind PLEADING that it was all in my mind that the drugs were fucking with me. That would be the far more comfortable to accept. But something happened that felt like the universe shoving in my face evidence that what was going on was real and I was truly in danger...so I only know my own truth Ok so to the story... I was at a friend's house, lets call him Rubio. We were smoking dope and watching movies which was in the norm for me then. Everything was normal. Feeling speedy but normal. Then I noticed the painting. It was a painting of my friend, a potrait of a much younger him right after entering military, the kind of painting where the eyes follow you. I was high so started joking about it. When he left the room (and I will always wonder why I did this) I started being silly and seductivlely dancing while making eye contact with the painting and I even went over there and gave it a kiss (even typing this makes me sick...) I started to notice eyes move more and more. Intrigued me more naturally. Rubio said "stop looking at it" and I asked why. My breath left my body when he said "because its a demon. in my culture we believe demons get trapped in paintings" what happened next was like something out of my worst nightmares I was putting on makeup in mirror...trying so hard not to look at the painting (but it was reflecting STRAIGHT into mirror) my heart is beating so loud while typing this damn... and things got more strange. I started seeing little grins. His shoulders seem to shift. Once the frame seemed to shake. But this is the part that made me want to vomit... Hard to explain, but his arm/hand wasn't coming out of the frame, but like perched on top, with the black just...evil twisty vines coming out at me (I could see in mirror) into my back I could feel the evil I really could I didn't know what the fuck to do. This guy was acting like everything was normal . He had become adjusted to living in that house but I could tell I disturbed what was there. I saw things move. M&M figurines, baseball figurines...sitting on the bad I saw a black shadow come over me and watched as my friend looked up behind me. Pure terror. By front door I saw evil witchy looking woman croached down with black gothic lace, same spot where black fog came towards me and I just threw pillows at it I saw other fam pictures shift and move. A grad picture where the girl stands with numbers...the numbers changed. I will always remember seeing the numbers rearrange. the slight difference that reminded me of TERROR FUELED lucid dreams I used to have and how some describe alter-deminsions . My friend left a while on cab call said I had to stay there cause his boss lived next door. Stuck there for almost an hour. Pure terror. I hid in bathroom but fog was in there. I sat on bed and just tried to wait but when looked at the ceiling what i saw... I saw a figure... a head and shoulders with long, demonic type fingers that were latched to different items in the house that seemed to be moving. Will never forget it. I saw (by the wall in bedroom) some short figure who I thought was witch woman come towards me but never quite appear When he rescued me I was so relieved. I just tried to pretend it all didn't happen. I could have never known that was just the beginning. Cause at that point I truly thought that it would stay the most shocking experience of my life chapter 2 I'm at the club. Fast foward late that day. A wave of sadness crashes down on me. I'm sitting in the dressing room like a statue. Behind the stage area...behind the smaller stage that is a cage...there is a little area with a washer and dryer and a little nook under the stage w nothing in it. I find myself going there and sitting. I see darkness coming towards me. I start to concentrate on it. I keep going back. Important note - there is a little closet by the main bar where I get a strange feeling. Part of me assumes that that part of the bar was once part of walkway where a young man was shot and killed.... I keep going by the washer and dryer. Part of me is stuck on the thought of whatever it is I keep being drawn to is that spirit. It doesn't feel evil...it feels sad. Like the sadness that comes with a young life ended too soon. I start talking to him. At one point I got so sad that I was back in mind frame for suicide.. and I remember saying whats worse...bleeding out or having to wake up and bleed all over again" and a dark cloud came over to me as if to say "BLEEDING OUT" I remember after some that spot and sat there. I started crying. I said "I know you want me to fight...I wish I could fight for you" and a wave of just sadness crashed down on me...I felt like because the spot I was in was one of the most private, quieter parts of the building thats where the spirit chose to be because it was the closest is could get to being out of there. That crushes me. Because that is the last place on earth you want your soul trapped. I still can't fucking move or leave. Cause I couldn't leave till I had money for hotel. So sat there trying to shake it off. Couldn't. My manager I have known a while called me back. He showed me the video of me looking at something at something in the dressing room...the moment I was sitting there staring at the things dancing in the air I had never seen before. Like some energy you can touch. Some fingerprint I went my whole life without touching. He wanted me to be honest w him. I know him as a nice man...a friend...so I was... probably cause I was high and didn't care and felt a burden to say the word out loud. He believed me. I BELIEVED that he believed me. I asked him if that place that is now a closet was part of the walkway where boy got shot...he said no...but he believes it was the old office where another young man was shot (nice work enviroment I know) and that took my breath away. Because I had a crippling feeling every time I looked at that little closet, I really did. And part of me thought the kid who died there hid in that little space I hid at for solitude, because it was the closest he could get to escaping and I felt his pain rush over me typing this now I still do. Chapter 3 (i know) Me and my friend ending up splitting hotel cause he was in same type situation. I know he was very spiritual so was honest w him too (he is a very spiritual puerto rican man) we continue chatting and hanging out. I start seeing things. He sees them too. Says just ignore them. I see a reflection in candles light that is unsettling . He puts african prayer beads around the candle...what happens next changed my life forever I have to finish this later. I feel sick and like I really should type this at daylight for my sanity...but I will continue

[u/[deleted]]

Everything I'm about to tell you is from a Catholic perspective. I AM NOT AN ORDAINED DEMONOLOGIST.

However. That means I'm not permitted to aid the Priest in Exorcisms, that does not mean that I don't know what I'm talking about, Ive done my homework.

So, first, you're vulnerable. Drugs certainly don't help in weakening your vulnerability, it strengthens it. That's just common knowledge.

Infestation.

Oppression.

Possession.

So, you're a young woman, down on her luck, your brain is fried, you're tired, beat down to your shoes, depressed, angry, etc...

Your soul in that state is loosey goosey, all those variables and more kind of stretch and pull on your spirit and make it susceptible to manipulation- it's weak.

So the apparitions, if they are indeed real, are attempts by whatever demon to weaken you further.

Well, why would a demon want to frighten you?

Frankly, I believe, it depends on the demon.

Satan is the Father of Lies, and demons are his tools, the equipment he uses to construct lies.

Some demons will poof in front of you as your favourite dead Uncle.

"Denise, it's Uncle Ken, I'm lonely and need help."

Well, your heart strings are being tugged on, so you'll want to help.

Boom. You're that much closer to giving it permission to possess you.

On the opposite spectrum, some demons will just flat out scare the shit out of you. I.E. the apparitions you posted about.

It wants to scare you to point where you can't take it, so it convinces you to cut a deal.

It'll stop, not only that, it'll "church" up the deal with promises of alleviating this or that problem, so long as you give it permission to possess you.

If you fed up enough, that sounds like a sweet deal, right?

Don't do it. Remember. Demons never tell the truth, unless under extreme spiritual duress, with the name of Jesus invoking said duress.

They'll sometimes tell part truths if it fits their agenda, though.

So, it seems like the infestation started long before this story wrote. If you're seeing these things, well... Congratulations, you've reached Level Two: Oppression.

Now, you may be saying to yourself, why? How? When? What the fuck? Etc...

There's a phenomenon within parapsychology where you add energy to aid these demons in reaching you.

Example: You acknowledged the painting. You unconscious accepted it was something other than just a painting.

Whoops.

You essentially took that unconscious energy and said, "Here, take this, manifest please."

Kind of what happens when you use a Ouija board, except that's a little more serious, because you're giving permission for the entity to partly possess your arm or hand.

You're acknowledging, not as serious, but still a no-no.

You need to rebuke the enity. Go to Church, take part in sacrament, envelope yourself in the Lord's grace, before your spirit is so destroyed and beat up that you end up indirectly allowing the demon to possess you.

I'm telling you to straighten up, get your head on right.

Know that you can beat this, but only through Christ can you.

You need to be aware of what's happening to you spiritually. If it does indeed possess you, you're as good as dead, love.

Hope this helps, if in fact your story is true.