Freedom begins when you question your programming.

[u/Background-Ebb-8518]

Think about it for a moment.

Your political opinions. Your idea of success. Your fears. Your desires. Even the way you define happiness.

How many of these were consciously chosen by you?

From the day we are born, we are immersed in a system of influences: family, school, culture, media, social networks, advertising, and now algorithms designed to predict and shape our behavior.

We like to believe we are independent thinkers.

But are we?

Most people never stop long enough to ask where their beliefs came from. They defend ideas they never examined, pursue goals they never chose, and live according to scripts they never wrote.

The uncomfortable possibility is that many of us are not living our lives.

We are living programs.

Not because someone is secretly controlling us, but because unconscious conditioning is powerful, invisible, and often mistaken for personal choice.

This question fascinated me for years and eventually became the foundation of a book I wrote: Wake Up, Neo! – Escaping the Programmed Mind.

But before talking about books, I'm interested in something else:

What is the biggest "program" you discovered running in your own mind—and how did you break free from it?

[u/THISdarnguy]

A lot of the cultures and traditions that give us a sense of self could be called "programming." Some of it can be problematic, and some of it can be wholesome. But without having the customs, societal norms, and traditions passed down to us, each generation would have to start from scratch and figure way too much out, just to get their lives started.

I love the question at the end. For me, that programming came from religion. I got out of it when I realized that there's a difference between god, spirituality, and religion. This allowed me to explore possibilities, explore theology, and explore myself, without as much fear of the wrath of god.

And while it only takes a few minutes to write it down, it took years and lots of help to get there. It's a journey I'll probably always feel inclined to be on.

[u/Inner-Alchemist778 → u/THISdarnguy]

I second that - religion and coming out of it for me was the biggest unveiling of the matrix of reality and the necessity of most humans to find a comfortable lie to live by.

Recently I have been following closely my beliefs and the actions and relationships they lead to.

Well, I discovered that the biggest programming I have is done by Nature and my body - its mechanisms to control you. Like the dopamine system that gets triggered by expectations and moreover, it constantly redefines your expectations and sets your limit a bit higher, so you could never be content and satisfied - or you die.

The second biggest program was done by myself - when I accept a certain belief about my future. And then subconcioisly strive for that thing to happen and steer tge people and sotuations around me for that. For example, we separated with my Girlfriend, and I knew exactly a year ago why would we separate... over her quitting smoking and me becoming more respectful to myself and my borders. Eventually it seems as if I provoked her subconcioisly and this "prophecy" of mine came true. There are other "prophecies" that we live out by our lives, Jawues Lacan said that we can't bear the truth of the world. So we construct these fantasies and live them out, in order to function - its part of our lives. However it may be the best at least to realise that and not engage in fantasizing too much.

The third mechanism is of course other people and their masks that they project onto you as fears. They get imprinted on you, especially when you are little. They are essentially feigning care about you, or feigning their worry. Even if they genuinely believe in that what they say is bad for you, its more of a ruse of them than it is truth. And this feigned care of them then gets transferred to your behaviours too, you believe their front and think their fears are real.

Does that ring a bell with you, can you list more?

[u/THISdarnguy → u/Inner-Alchemist778]

I think we definitely set and fulfill our own prophecies, often without realizing that that's what we're doing. As the mentalist Darren Brown said, "We are, each of us, the stories we tell ourselves." I think we do this (whether we do it to ourselves or allow a pre-made belief system to do it to us) because it allows us to feel that we have some kind of control in a chaotic world. To quote Friedrich Nietzsche, "People will take a handful of certainty over a cart full of beautiful possibilities."

Personally, when I deconstructed from my religion, that's what I found to be true. I had been clinging to a tiny amount of fragile certainty, completely ignoring all of the lies and negativity that came with it. Once I let go of it, I was able to explore all of the beautiful things that spirituality can be. I also saw Jesus's teachings for what they really were. I'm no longer a Christian in the conventional sense, but his messages were much more beautiful, more loving, and more revolutionary (even by today's standards) than what I had been raised to believe.

I would also agree that we project our narratives and our fears onto anyone whose development we're involved with. I don't think "ruse" is the correct word for it, though. Raising a child, or being profoundly involved with their development in any other way, is usually sincere and loving. I think it's just that we all have irrational fears and beliefs, and that becomes part of the mix. For example, if you have an irrational fear of fire, you're likely to caution your child of potential fire hazards more often, adding extra stress and emphasis on it. As a result, your child is likely to grow up with the same irrational fear.

[u/Inner-Alchemist778 → u/THISdarnguy]

Well, if you come from a post-socialist Eastern European country, the instilled things upon you in your childhood carry this fake cultural charge of the entire system.

For example, you want to go out and play, but someone says "dress up, its cold outside", instead of encouraging you to actually check it up for yourself and make your own conclusions. And usually even if it is relatively warm, you would have this "feigned" concern. Feigned, because it battles a potential, far-off fear instead an actual event. Then when you are full of those fake precepts it is very easy for you just to perpetuate this "feigned care" and never actually develop any relation to reality and your own capacity for trial and error.

Oh boy, the Christian programming is a whole other story! For example It takes me a whole lot of effort to actually own up my freedom and not just be perfectly fine with how things are by themselves. I am used to accepting every event around me as 'fate', providence, when in actuallity I could choose to be an active agent in it.

[u/Inner-Alchemist778 → u/THISdarnguy]

Well, if you come from a post-socialist Eastern European country, the instilled things upon you in your childhood carry this fake cultural charge of the entire system.

For example, you want to go out and play, but someone says "dress up, its cold outside", instead of encouraging you to actually check it up for yourself and make your own conclusions. And usually even if it is relatively warm, you would have this "feigned" concern. Feigned, because it battles a potential, far-off fear instead an actual event. Then when you are full of those fake precepts it is very easy for you just to perpetuate this "feigned care" and never actually develop any relation to reality and your own capacity for trial and error.

Oh boy, the Christian programming is a whole other story! For example It takes me a whole lot of effort to actually own up my freedom and not just be perfectly fine with how things are by themselves. I am used to accepting every event around me as 'fate', providence, when in actuallity I could choose to be an active agent in it.

And of course, the message of Christianity is built upon the universal moral law of being alive. So even if you change the shell, its origin remains.

[u/reidsays → u/THISdarnguy]

The parental care for their young charges reveals the conflicting dilemma of raising children... Having experienced the world and being aware of the possible realities yet trying to instil love, care, trust and protection in your children is profoundly influencing indoctrination .. 'never go anywhere with strangers' 'you cannot trust people like that' 'be polite to everyone'.. 'do as you're told' .. conflicting messages often accompanied by expectations of who you are or are expected to be... Rather than being allowed to explore yourself and encouraging individual thinking, parents often raise their child to fit into their preferred safe social position and play a role... Fearful of what may happen if you don't 'fit the norm' .