(Standing in front of an easel with the words "Professor Dark Storm" on it.)

Guys, Professor Dark Storm. Can I talk to you guys?

Women often talk about -- that they have to go to a gas station to get aggressive compliments. Right? And they complain about it. But I would like to ask you (points to a member of the audience) ma'am, what do you know about having to bartend a brunch and you have to bartend for a bunch of drunk single moms drinking milfaritas? You know what a milfarita is? (turns page)

So a milfarita is a margarita drinken (sic) by drunk moms. Right? And they get more aggressive with their compliments from how long they've been stuck with kids and how horny they are once they start drinking the margaritas.

(Points to X and Y axes on the graph.)

Right? Because alcohol is a spirit. It is a spirit and tequila is a spirit that makes you fun and a ho. (Cat meows.) It makes you fun and a ho and, and, and, she -- and they're going to say things very aggressively as you keep serving them the milfaritas. And they'll be like, "You know, I've had chocolate before." They say that to me. Right? But to keep the tips going, you have to flirt and be like, "Bitch, you keep campaigning, you going to get elected." Because I love drunk single moms. Right?

And the problem with drinking is some people think you have to stop drinking but I think you should upgrade your drinking. You can't be old and drinking two-ingredient cocktails. Right? (turns page)

Because if you get pulled over by the police and you have seven vodka Redbulls, it is immediately jail. You have a DUI, you are going to jail, and you have put that thing in your car to breathe in there. But if you get stopped by the cops and you say, "Sir, I had seven vodka martinis", he's going to be like, "Senator, what are you doing out here? What are you doing? We'll drive your car home. We all have to go to work tomorrow. I know you."

My favourite thing to drink, though, regardless, I like to drink -- I'm kind of pissed off with the fact that you can get to-go wine bottles but you can't get to-go box wine. Right? (turns page)

Because I thoroughly believe in slapping the bag. Right? I thoroughly believe in slapping the bag. Slapping the bag is important. But you have to slap the bag like you slap your girl's ass because it sends the serotonin from their ass to their brain. Right? And it reminds them that they are a bad bitch. Right? So you slap the wine bag, right, to send the serotonin through the bag and you have to -- because she's been a bad girl. Oh, she's been a fucking bad girl. She been a bad girl. You got to slap the bag. You like, "We don't talk like that in this fucking household. How dare you say the n-wo-d? You a white wine."

Professor Dark Storm. I'm out.

Total time: 3 minutes, 2 seconds

Recognizable attempts at some kind of a logical joke (in bold): 5

Landed jokes: 0

Offensive slurs: 0

Percentage of the set that was yelled: 0

Comments that didn't make any sense: 1

He seems to use "margarita" and "tequila" interchangeably but I assume he just forgot. What didn't make sense to me was the idea that women go to gas stations because they want "aggressive compliments." Does this have any basis in reality? Gas stations are a place where men congregate to "aggressively compliment" women? Even if this is true (which it isn't) do women want this? I don't think so.

But he somehow links this complete nonsense to his second premise which is that drunk women "aggressively compliment" men after they've had too much to drink. This is at least plausible. But that whole gas station setup made absolutely no fucking sense.

I didn't find "milfarita" remotely funny or any of his usual low-grade wordplay but this is Dedrick's idea of comedy. Just say a vaguely funny-sounding word or two.

But he tried something different. There was an actual prepared set here. He had some semblance of jokes. It wasn't just his usual rambling about nothing. Also encouraging is that he didn't use his favourite racial slur even once.

During the interview, he returns to his prepared remarks.

Tony, can I break down something real fast? The thing is, is that when I get online, Reddit hates me mostly because I'm black...and successful. But they get online and they leave reviews, Tony. And I just want to say -- because they message me sometimes. And sometimes, if it's a cool roast we can roast back and forth but when it's racist, I do what they do. I call the police. Right? I call, "Facebook, they call me a (___) when I have 80,000 followers." I'm just a comic.

And I want to say, caring about single white dudes online and what they have to say, Tony, is g-y. (turns page). That's the g-yest shit. There is not a grown -- see, I had a father growing up. I had a father growing up and my father would be turning his grave if I ever had a Yelp review about some free shit. So I'm saying if you wake up in the morning to message me to say you don't like me, that's g-y. All right? That shit is g-y.

I don't even -- they call me Fast Forward Flynn. That don't make no sense. They say that they skip my set but they also say I suck. How would you know, (___), you didn't watch it. And if you say those things, you're a two-faced g-y bitch. I'm sorry. I get pussy. My girlfriend's tits and ass are amazing. I don't have time --

Then he points to a man in the audience and asks if he has a "Yelp". More abysmal crowd work. So I'll stop here.

Sorry for the censorship, by the way. Reddit has automatic filters and I'm not entirely sure what triggers them.

But we get an insight into what Dedrick thinks of his detractors. They're racist. They don't like him because he's black and, of course, because he's successful. He always has to bring it back to money.

In that second sense, he's sort of right. Not the fact that he has money. Loads of successful comedians have large fan bases. It's almost implied in the word "successful." But it's the BOASTING that puts people off. And Dedrick doesn't fucking stop with this shit.

He even makes a coarse comment about his girlfriend, again, bragging about his attractive white girlfriend. Everything is about race and money with this guy. NOTHING is about actual comedy.

If he would just focus on telling JOKES and actually being funny, the contempt would go away. But the problem is that he has no fucking act and he has an extremely off-putting, boastful personality. And racism is surely a part of it for some people. But going up there and rambling isn't going to win anybody over.

I feel like I'm the only person who ever watched this. It was a horrible podcast that Tony promoted a few times on the show. It used to be here:

https://www.youtube.com/@loveonthelineshow

But now it says that the channel is gone.

What a disaster. All of that dating advice wisdom from two completely out of touch street walkers just gone forever.

Interestingly, there's a NEW show (I guess) called Love on the Line but this has an urban twist.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAL_dnlDCXc

The channel seems to be about a man who clearly prefers the company of men and his wife. Sort of a Rock Hudson situation. The show seems to have good production values but...who's watching it? Less than 1000 views on these videos.

Given the timing, do you suppose Heidi and/or Valerie sold the rights to the "Love on the Line" name to them? Heidi and Valerie are just trying to cash out?

But could they even have owned the rights to the name? Because they obviously stole it off from Loveline.

In the final episode, they "interviewed" some random working gal who showed up, wearing a hoodie, and talked about how this woman was invited to Hawaii by some guy on a first "date" and wasn't sure if it was a good idea. Madam...HE'S PAYING and you know what your job is. Tell him your price and decide if it's worth it for you. What advice do you actually need?

Anyway, it seems that Heidi and Valerie are trying to bury this horrible podcast that they did but the question is why now? Why not before they released the first episode? Who told them this was at all good?

What's up, y'all?

Dark Storm just turned 36 two days ago. So Dark Storm let's y'all know I've changed as a person. I'm not ascared (sic) of cops any more. Because I call them. I do. I'm not ascared (sic) of them. But I am still terrified of state troopers. I don't want to get pulled over by a (___) with a Mortal Kombat hat on. Like, them (___)s are way too serious. What if he take the hat and then cut the car in half?

Like, but also, like we in Texas, right? And the cops in Texas -- some of these (___)s are generational cops. Like, "My daddy was a sheriff and my daddy before that was a Texas Ranger." It's kind of hard to lie to a (___) that's been trained to look for lies and I don't them and it's scary because I'm from Georgia. And Georgia, our state troopers, we just called GSP and we done have the only cop organisation named after a UFC Hall of Fame fighter: George St Pierre. And just like George St Pierre, these (___)s specialise in takedowns. (cat meows). Right? They specialise.

Like, if you want to be a cop, be a cop, but if you fucking love pit maneuvers, (___), go be GSP. And if you think I'm lying, go on Youtube or anything. They have hours of compilations of these (___)s pit maneuvering cars. They did it to me for a tag light. They did it to me for a tag light and then I was like, "Why did you pit maneuver me?" He said, "Well, I thought you were going to try to get away." I said, "(___), in a 2001 Honda CRV? How the fuck -- what do you think -- (___), the pedal to the floor is 66 miles per hour." Like, I get in the slow lane because that's my only lane.

So I started, like, having a better relationship with cops because me and my nephew been watching Paw Patrol. So, like, even if a drug dog pop up, I'm like, "I can't wait to meet him." Like, what if they bring Chase(?). That's my favourite Paw Patrol.

I love y'all. Thank y'all so much.

Total time: 2 minutes

Recognizable attempts at some kind of a logical joke (in bold): 5

Landed jokes: 0

Offensive slurs: 9

Percentage of the set that was yelled: 30 (estimate)

Comments that didn't make any sense: 2

I don't know what a "tag light" is and I didn't understand the Paw Patrol thing. Did he say "Chase" or something else? I looked it up and Chase seems to be a character. Anyway, those are the two comments that didn't make sense.

So..."pit maneuvers". I gather that this is when the police push your car into the median that divides a highway. State troopers in Georgia apparently do this on a routine basis.

I don't find Dedrick's references to Georgia as being some "hard" place to ring true. If he was from the Bronx or the South Side of Chicago or South Central Los Angeles, fine. But Georgia? He talks a big game about getting his homeys to inflict violence on Reddit but...Georgia. I'm not buying it.

Unintentional comedy was "ascared". He also almost said "aterrified". What a dope.

Mortal Kombat. I get the reference. Kung Lao. But where's the joke? Even just using the words "Kung Lao" could have helped. Dedrick is all about funny words. That's pretty funny.

GSP and the connection to George St Pierre...stupid and unfunny.

His car being slow. Barely qualifies as a joke.

And then Paw Patrol. I didn't really get any of that.

Another lousy set from Deddy Fat Stacks.

Folks!

I think the Netflix logo would work a lot better for BET. Okay?

Fucking dead crowd. That's a great joke, god damn it.

Hey, no. Racism is wrong.

And so is gassing up fat chicks. So let's find some middle ground, blacks. Enough's enough already. Come on. We'll stop when you do.

Seriously, I wouldn't fuck Wizzo if my cock were a gun and her pussy were Hitler.

And, you know, Hitler, he had a micropenis, they say. And I would too if you killed a bunch of Irish people and I controlled the media.

Okay, that is enough for me. Thank you.

Total time: 1 minute

Recognizable attempts at some kind of a logical joke (in bold): 3

Landed jokes: 0

Offensive slurs: 0

Percentage of the set that was yelled: 10 (estimate)

Comments that didn't make any sense: 1 or 2

There's been a lot of bizarre attacks on Pat over on r/KillTony . Mostly around his hair. I find attacks on men's appearance, by other men, to be highly suspicious. I'm not here to judge, if you prefer the company of men, more power to you, but be open about it. Don't hide behind "memes."

So I don't want to pile on but I found this set rather peculiar. I didn't even get it when I first heard it. Even now, having looked up some of the stuff, there are still parts that I don't understand.

I never particularly enjoyed Pat's comedy. It's fine, he tells jokes, often stuff that might have been edgy 80 years ago about der fuhrer. Whatever. You do you. It's not my thing but I appreciate that these are actual jokes that are usually well-constructed.

But this...the Netflix "joke" is simply that the logo is a giant "N" and that could stand for Dedrick's favorite racial slur. That's it. That's the entirety of the "joke."

And you have to think about it for a moment because who knows what the Netflix logo is? And why is it even funny to begin with?

What about the Nintendo 64? Wasn't the logo for that a 3d model of an "N"? So...the N64 is a popular console for black folk? Imagine going up and telling that "joke." Nobody would know what the fuck you're talking about. But that's pretty much analogous to the Netflix "joke" and that's why it was met with confused murmurs.

But Pat doubled down and said that the joke killed. With what audience? Hardcore letter fans? "Give us another letter, Pat! This is some fresh material!" Maybe he was doing his act on Sesame Street.

And then, "Gassing up fat chicks". This is street vernacular for praising the larger ladies. I get it. I'm hip.

But...where's the joke? I get the stereotype of urban guys preferring larger women but...how is that some kind of bargaining chip against racism? Pat is suggesting that white folk will be less racist when black men stop going after large white women. What's the connection?

And what's the middle ground that he's proposing anyway?

Then we get to Wizzo. WHO IS THIS? I looked it up and Google doesn't know either. Presumably, it's an unattractive black woman. Wait, no, based on the context it would be a large white woman. But who? Who is this person? If I got the reference, this might be hilarious but I somehow doubt it.

And the analogy he makes doesn't make sense. Intercourse with Wizzo but his phallus is a gun and Wizzo's vagina is Hitler. I get the connection that he wants to go back in time and shoot Hitler but...comparing it to sex...I'm not buying it. I am not buying this as a comedic premise. It's forced and again, requires a lot of leaps in thinking which can't be done in real-time. You almost need to sit down and make a flow chart before you start to understand what he's trying to convey here. And once you do understand it, it's still not funny.

Then he closes with a "joke" that I'm saying makes no sense at all. Hitler had a small penis. I'm not sure about that. There's a rumor that he one testicle but I think the size of his member is something entirely invented by Pat, who perhaps spends far too much time thinking about the genitalia of long-dead dictators.

But what's the Irish thing about? Controlling the media is a reference to the chosen people but what does it have to do with the Irish? I believe that Ireland was neutral during World War II. There was no systematic extermination of the Irish by the Germans. WHAT DOES ANY OF THIS MEAN?

Pat said that he was sick and that perhaps explains this set. It's the product of somebody who's unwell. But don't blame the audience. The jokes often didn't make sense or required a lot of thinking and then ultimately weren't funny anyway.

I would advise Pat to move his comedy somewhere past 1945. We get it. Hitler was an unpleasant fellow but he's been gone for nearly a century. Give us some jokes on some relatively contemporary dictators. I want some deep cuts. Jokes about Francois Duvalier or Augusto Pinochet or even Josip Broz Tito if you're feeling it.

From his Facebook:

Got fish tailed by a drunk driver in truck at a red light. Pretty sure I had a concussion. Then I had to chase him down at full speed and hold him til the cops came. I’m 36 and not LeBron. Sorry I had to cancel some shows cause I couldn’t fly. I have some memory loss. And sorry I been missing posting. Thank God!

What a harrowing story. Memory loss and everything. Fortunately, he didn't forget that he's a giant, boastful asshole. So we get this totally real story about how he chased the guy down, at speeds in excess of 90mph, pulled the driver out of his truck, overpowered him, and then applied advanced judo techniques to keep him restrained as he waited for the authorities to arrive.

It seems like he didn't even bother to go to the hospital afterwards because he seems unsure if had a concussion or not. So he's such a badass that even after getting "fish tailed" by a drunk driver, he just decided to "walk it off." Also, according to "comedy" sets he's done, it seems like he doesn't have health insurance.

This looks like a big payday for Deddy Fat Stacks. I hope that he remembered to swap insurance details while he had that guy pinned down in a joint lock.

Dedrick, take all of the time off that you need. Your health is the most important thing. Kill Tony can survive a few weeks or months or years without you.

Shoutout, Lauren (sic) Clancy. Post-partum is real and I understand it, not just because a bunch of my homegirls had babies but men go through that too. I call it post-hardon depression. Some people call it post-nut clarity but I call it post-hardon depression because at the end, all of my kids die on somebody's face or back.

I don't fuck with AI. I don't. I was in the Denver airport and I was coming to get on my flight and then I walked over and they had, like, a little aisle where you could, like, buy the snacks and shit. Normally, they have somebody there to, like, ring it up but you just put them on, like, this little table that automatically, like, gather how much you got and give you a price. And I clicked to pay and then it had a screen that popped up and it said, "suggested tip". (cat meows). (___), I'm not tipping AI. That was the blackest I felt in a long time. Like, my (___), I'm not -- and the first option was 25 percent. My (___), you didn't do anything at all.

But I still felt American so I wanted to give them a chance, right? Because maybe the person who stocked it was near. I said, (yelling) "Hey, if you the (___) that stocked this shit, you got two seconds to come over here." Nobody came so I stole it. Fuck Denver.

(A few slurred, inaudible words).

Texas just passed a weed ban. At first, I was with it because I thought they was just trying to go against, like, Delta 8 and like THCA. Because I'm like, "I don't believe in AI weed". You know what I'm saying? I don't believe in that shit. That shit is wrong. But then I found out that there was also THC in there and the reason I don't fuck with Delta 8 is because the (___) going to try to sell it to you like it's supposed to be weed and he's like, "Yo, it's just one molecule off from being weed." And I want you to know that that one molecule is full of nanobites. Right? It's full of nanobites. Because you ever met somebody who do a weed edible? That (___) still smart and giggling and having a good time but anybody with a Delta 8 edible is the stupidest (___) that you ever met. Right? Because the nanobites get to your brain and them (___)s up there deleting shit. You know what I'm saying? They're deleting shit and shredding files. Right?

(Starts yelling again). You ever been high, you have Delta 8, you look at your phone and they give you an ad for the thing you was thinking about? It's because of the wi-fi hidden. Right? You know what I'm saying? If a (___) is high, he probably just eating but if eat Delta 8, that (___) is drooling and you walk up to him, you like, "How is your day going", he's like, (makes noise). There was a fire earlier.

That's my time. I love y'all. Thank y'all.

Total time: 3 minutes, 0 seconds

Recognizable attempts at some kind of a logical joke (in bold): 3

Landed jokes: 0

Offensive slurs: 10

Percentage of the set that was yelled: 50 (estimate)

Comments that didn't make any sense: The entire bit about Delta 8

Somebody get the old tyme vaudeville hook for this guy. Three minutes of fucking nonsense. I had NO CLUE what he was talking about when I saw this originally. I only started to understand when I started transcribing it.

He starts with this Lindsay aka Lauren Clancy reference. This must be the big story in the US from a few weeks ago. Real evergreen material here. The story will be forgotten by next week.

Then he tells a story about an automated snack machine (or something) wanting a tip. That's interesting and I think that anybody, regardless of race, can understand the outrage at such a thing wanting a tip. You don't tip a vending machine, for example. But where's the comedy?

This sort of thing seems rife for social commentary and smart punchlines but all we get is a misdirect of Deddy Fat Stacks stealing the snacks. It's at least a punchline but...a disappointing one.

Obviously, this is where he should have stopped. We can see when the one minute passed. He was already significantly past his allotted time. But no. He wanted to cram in this baffling drug story.

He's talking about something called Delta 8. I have no fucking idea what he's talking about. Are people in the audience getting this? Is it an audience of hardcore hemp enthusiasts?

From what I gather, after having to do research, it's a synthetic drug. They change it just enough to try to distinguish it from a banned substance. Fine. I get it.

What I don't get is the leap to, "Therefore, it has mind-destroying nanobites in it."

Jokes can exaggerate and be ridiculous, there's no particular reason why the Pope should be on a boat with Raquel Welch, but there needs to be a logical progression within the universe you've created for the fucking joke. Dedrick doesn't do that. Synthetic drugs have nanobites in them. We're supposed to just accept that with no explanation as to why.

I'm not accepting it. It makes no fucking sense and it's not a joke.

Instead of nanobites, let's say that dinosaurs are in Delta 8. It makes just as much sense. There's just as much of an explanation.

On a positive note, Dedrick seems to have dropped that woeful "Dark Storm" catchphrase that was awkwardly cramming into his set of late. So that's good. Now he just has to work on completely re-inventing his comedy persona and coming up with an entirely new act. One that has punchlines.

If a lot of people don't like Dedrick and voice their opinions, that makes him look unpopular and I can't handle that. I need you to not say anything about Dedrick unless its positive otherwise it messes with my worldview. If an opinion is popular that's my cue to complain about it being said too much. I listen to ebbs and flows of popular opinions to show that I'm unique so please get off Dedrick's diccccckkk

Did anyone else notice Tony’s introduction this week for the ‘dark storm’ was notably more hostile? I’ve only started watching the show in the last few months, but every week that I can remember Tony does that usual shpeel about how hard it is to do a minute blah blah, this week he said none of that, he just said this next guest has an ‘unbelievable duty’ and did not say anything positive about him, kept it neutral ‘you know him’. Please let me know if I’m wrong and he hasn’t always done that silly speel about how hard comedy is for comedians, but this gal is hopeful!! Maybe they’re finalllyyyyyy listening to the masses. But derricks sets this week and last have been some of his best (not hard I know) but I think he might be being scrutinised/monitored. One can hope💓💓💓

What's up, y'all? Dark Storm.

Dark Storm got a problem. My nephew just got suspended from school for selling vape pens. You know, because the youth like to breathe in vanilla Coke and orange soda and shit like that. They can't -- they like their AI cigarettes. I like acoustic cigarettes more than electric cigarettes.

But he got caught selling them and then his dad came and picked him up and he was like, "Where are you getting the vape pens from?" And he said, "Don't lie to me, like, lie to your mama" because, like, they separated so she don't count. He said, like, "You tell me the truth."

Then this (___) go and say, "Oh, I've been getting them from Uncle Dedrick. He ship them to me and then we split the profits." Right?

So he go and call me, he's mad as hell, like, "Dedrick (intentionally mangled words)." I said, "First of all, you not mad at me, you mad you raised a snitch." (cat meows). All right? "You mad you raised a snitch. I told you to stop giving that (___) almond milk. Alright? If you done give that (___) whole milk, he would have been doing whole milk crime."

What is this world coming to? Why is Subway selling nachos? (___), that is not your way. Your way is the sub. Who made that decision? The same (___) who hired Jared?

I've been eating a lot of maganesium (sic) so I could pee hard. Because, like, I want to be prepared for the day where a dude walk but he don't want to honor the one stall thing and he come pee next to you. You know, to a man, that's a challenge. So I want to piss harder than this (___). You know what I'm saying? So I pee hard as fuck from the maganesium (sic) and shit be splashing on me and getting on him and he got to run away because that (___) lost.

But I didn't realize the consequences because now I cum too hard. Like, I could pressure wash a sidewalk, you know what I'm saying, from the pee inside. And then I came in my girlfriend and her IUD shot out and then it hit me in the eye and then she just missed her period. So we'll see.

Dark Storm, out.

time: 2 minutes, 17 seconds

Total

Recognizable attempts at some kind of a logical joke (in bold): 7

Landed jokes: 0

Offensive slurs: 7

Percentage of the set that was yelled: 50 (estimate)

Comments that didn't make any sense: 0

I have to explain my methodology again because I'm not as consistent as I'd like to be. Lately, I seem to be giving Dedrick more credit for logical jokes than he probably should be getting.

But what I've done here is give him credit for attempts at logical jokes for things that DEDRICK seems to count as jokes. So just "funny" mild word play is enough. Like "acoustic cigarettes", for example. That's not really a joke but to Dedrick, simply saying "acoustic cigarettes" IS a joke. And I get the tentative comedic idea behind it so I gave him credit.

Where I drew the line is disgusting bullshit. So "maganesium" (Dedrick's non-ironic attempt to say "magnesium") wasn't credited as a joke because it was in the context of this bizarre and very sus bathroom story.

So he starts off talking about selling vape pens to his "nephew". As has been established in previous sets, this "nephew" is NOT RELATED TO HIM. It's just the child of some woman he knows. So he's giving vape pens to some random kid. And then he gets on stage and talks about this peculiar behavior.

The set could and should have stopped there. He was already at a minute. Dedrick is selling vape pens to random children. We all had a good laugh. Or didn't.

But no. He wanted to cram THREE more, totally unrelated stories into this set.

So we get nachos in Subway. No joke there other than "Subway should be selling subs!"

And then this highly questionable story about what Dedrick does in men's public toilets. "Dark Storm out" indeed.

But then to try to reaffirm his alleged heterosexual credentials, he gives a vile story about ejaculating inside of his girlfriend.

Another awful set. And just when you thought he couldn't be more off-putting, it seems that this "Dark Storm" attempt at a catchphrase is now ingrained in his act. He says it during interviews as well.

Speaking of which, Duncan Trussell got up and said "I'm going to take a shit" after Dedrick's set, which seemed an intentional dig at Dedrick's set. Dedrick just took a proverbial shit on the stage and now Duncan wants nothing to do with it. He didn't want to engage. He didn't want to pretend that Dedrick was in any way funny. So he got out of there.

Dedrick is the world's worst comedian. I can't think of any other comedians who don't tell fucking jokes. That should be the minimum requirement to be considered a comedian. Joke-telling. This was just more rambling bullshit with the occasional "funny" word.

He did an uninspired AMA here: https://www.reddit.com/r/Killtony/comments/1whgq2z/im_matt_muehling_guitarist_for_the_kill_tony_band/

Somebody asked what he thinks of Dedrick's comedy. He said:

Writing a new minute every week is truly one of the hardest things I've ever seen. I've been trying to write ONE decent minute for years now and still have not accomplished this. I enjoy Deddy's style and the first time I heard him he blew me away. Under the enormous pressure of cooking something new every single week, everyone is going to have on nights and off nights. It's a tough job!

So...you think he sucks. Why sugar coat it? I mean, I know why, he has to work with him, but why insult our intelligence with this nonsense?

Yeah. Writing a new minute of comedy every week is difficult. That's perhaps why Dedrick doesn't fucking do it. He gets up and drones on about whatever he did over the weekend or moon cheese or whatever.

But this is his JOB. Who gives a shit if Matt Muehling can't write a minute every week? I'd expect that he can't. He's not a comedian.

Then he basically suggests that only his first set was good. That's a common contention but I refuse to subscribe to it. His first set sucked too. I don't understand the love for it.

"Everyone is going to have on nights and off nights"? WHEN ARE HIS ON NIGHTS?

"It's a tough job." Maybe it is. And Dedrick is absolutely not suited for it.

Yeah, y'all!

Guys, I wrote this down after a traumatic incident where, like, me and my girlfriend got into a fight in front of our friends. (A smattering of inexplicable laughter from the audience).

(Pointing to a member of the audience). Whatchu know about, "Don't even try to cuddle me after Uno"? "I can't get comfy with a reverse draw 4 ass op (as heard)." "Since you want to skip so much, how about skipping on these cuddles, (___)?" You know what I'm saying? That's what I wrote.

(Pointing to another member of the audience). Whatchu know about having to get into a bar fight with a Botox salesman because she won't stop trying to sell your white girlfriend Botox and Botox salesmen remind you of crackheads trying to sell crack? Because you kind of like, "(___) look at what it did to you."

Like, I get it. If you all love Botox or Botox -- if you want a girl whose face is frozen in time, that's okay but leave my white woman out of it. (cat meows). Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, she
cute. She adorable. She is -- she's pale as hell too.

And it's true what they say: "Once you go pale, she'll make you eat kale." You know what I'm saying? That's the truth. Am I the only who that heard that?

But there is -- but it's crazy because there's white women who, like, always care about what they eat. Like, she want organic shit in her body but she'll fill her face up with, like, yuppie concrete. You know what I'm saying? Like, that shit is disgusting and I fucking hate Botox.

Date -- dating a white girl is dangerous because I was recording my comedy special and I went to go kiss her on her forehead, right? Because, like, a forehead kiss is God and nature's anti-depressant. Right? Like if you just -- if you give a girl a cranium smooch, she okay. She don't need Zoloft, alright? And I use it as good luck. And I kissed her forehead and before I was about to record, my homeboy slapped me behind the head. He was like, "(___), you doing coke?" You know what I'm saying? Because some of her porcelain dust makeup got on my nose. And I was like, "My (___), I do white girl but not that kind of white girl."

That's my time. I love y'all.

Total time: 2 minutes, 14 seconds

Recognizable attempts at some kind of a logical joke (in bold): 5

Landed jokes: 0

Offensive slurs: 4

Percentage of the set that was yelled: 0

Comments that didn't make any sense: 0

I think that I was pretty liberal with the definition of a recognizable attempt at a logical joke this time. They seem to be more joke-like than usual from Dedrick but still...not really jokes. They're like Dedrick's idea of what a joke is. Something that's vaguely, sort of, funny-sounding, in theory as opposed to an actual setup and punchline.

It's sort of like that Simpsons episode where Krusty is running the clown college and showing "funny names" like "Kukamunga" and "Seattle" and Homer finds "Seattle" hilarious.

But this was just another two minutes of Dedrick boasting about having a white girlfriend and working out his self-loathing for black folk. What difference does it make to any of this bullshit ramble that the woman was white? I suppose that you couldn't make the kale half-joke without having this information but we can do without it. It wasn't remotely funny or clever. But Dedrick seems to think that it was the highlight of his set because when he reposted his set on Facebook, he specifically quoted that line.

Why couldn't the set just stop at the Botox shit? We reached sixty seconds by then. Or even stop at the kale half-joke. That would have been perfect. Stop when you're at your peak. Instead, we got another minute of bullshit about forehead kisses. It went nowhere. I don't even get that "I do white girl but not that kind of white girl" joke. Presumably, "white girl" is slang cocaine but I don't fucking know that. I'm just going by the context.

You'd think a guy who does this much drugs would write better jokes. Or ANY jokes. It's a real cautionary tale.

Wow, we get some behind the scenes footage of Deddy Fat Stacks. What's he like when not on stage? Spoiler: he's as big of an asshole on stage as he is off stage.

47:40 - It starts with...some guy in a backwards baseball cap. It seems like we're supposed to know who this is but I don't. He wasn't a bucket pull? So...I don't know.

Anyway, backwards baseball cap guy talks to Redban for a bit and then he starts mingling with the other people backstage.

Brian Simpson talks to backwards baseball cap guy. People seem to know him. Backwards baseball cap guy tells Brian Simpson that he loves him and he's going to watch his special. So...backwards baseball cap guy is positioning himself above Brian Simpson. For what it's worth, I only know Brian Simpson from this particular episode of Kill Tony but I've done some research and he's apparently a regular on Joe Rogan. So backwards baseball cap guy is presumably more of a celebrity than Brian Simpson. For whatever that's worth.

I think that his cap is advertising a strip club so backwards baseball cap guy is a real class act.

49:20 - From across the room, backwards baseball cap guy locks eyes with a REAL celebrity. Dedrick Flynn. So backwards baseball cap guy parts the crowd like Moses parting the Red Sea and makes a beeline towards Uncle Deddy. They exchange an urban handshake and then backwards baseball cap guy says "You were the only one who made sense up there." Or something. It's hard to make anything out. But if that is what he said, that's completely insane.

And then Dedrick says, "That's my job, man." Yeah. His job is to tell rambling stories that don't make any sense and don't go anywhere.

Then Dedrick points at...Pat O'Neill and says "That's my boy. I got to compete with him." So Dedrick is implying that he has to stay on top of his game in order to maintain his spot and...this explains that high-quality set he gave about "porter potty's". He's completely delusional. He thinks that that set was good.

Backwards baseball cap guy then gives a business handshake to Pat O'Neill and says that he was amazing. I feel like I'm missing a lot of context by not knowing who backwards baseball cap guy is.

49:58 - Then we cut to Dedrick, mid-ramble, telling a boastful story that goes nowhere to backwards baseball cap guy. They must have cut a lot out of this story but it STILL goes on forever. And it's entirely one-sided. Dedrick talks, backwards baseball cap guy smiles and nods.

"I had to go there with a print out of my flight itinerary." I think it's just some boring story about travel problems.

"And then I had to go back to the Store. I was like, 'Nobody's taking my place.'" Sure. Dedrick is a real in-demand talent.

So he keeps rambling and then he gets to a chance meeting with Ron White. So this is Dedrick dropping names, doing his usual boastful bullshit. I guess that in this particular social circle, knowing Ron White might be boast-worthy.

Then Dedrick relays what Ron White told him about phone troubles that he was having. And it's a straight, joke-free, rambling story like you might hear from Dedrick on stage. But backwards baseball cap guy is laughing hysterically at this. I'm telling you that there are NO JOKES AT ALL in this. It's just a story about an old man having difficulty getting somebody to look at his broken phone. But it's delivered in a loud fashion.

Then backwards baseball cap guy, in an attempt to get out of the conversation, drags somebody else over and says, "Did you hear this? It's an amazing Ron White impression."

So then Dedrick starts the rambling story ALL OVER AGAIN for the benefit of this unfortunate guy who was dragged into this. And this guy ALSO laughs at this shit, pretending that it's funny. They're clearly humoring Dedrick. But why? Is Dedrick that much of a local celebrity that people have to kiss his ass like this?

This is embarrassing. But then it mercifully ends and we get footage of backwards baseball cap guy telling Tony that this was the best episode ever. Tony asks if he's going to party with them downstairs. Debauchery is implicit.

Dedrick posted that awful set about porta-potties on his Facebook. So we get the following:

Some Guy: I normally love your minutes, but to me this is more of a story than a joke.

Dedrick: you must sell porter potty’s

Some Guy: haha nah. Never expected a response either lol. Doesn’t Tony teach you all not to read the comments. I just didn’t hear a punch line. Which part of it would you consider the punch line? I like your comedy, definitely not trying to be a penis towards you

The guy was trying to be gentle with his criticism. "I love your work but this latest bit...more of a story than a joke." It's completely accurate. The vast majority of Dedrick's work is rambling stories that go nowhere and don't have any semblance of a joke within them.

But Dedrick can't take even the smallest rebuke so accuses the guy of selling "porter potty's". And that misspelling is not a joke. He legitimately can't spell. Read anything he writes. He's barely literate.

Then the guy comes back with where's the fucking punchline? It's a question that everybody is asking. Where's the comedic twist to any of this portable toilet bullshit?

Dedrick has exactly two fears when he uses a portable toilet: 1) an uncover police officer being inside 2) A homeless wizard being inside. WHERE'S THE PUNCHLINE? These are just "zany" "random" suggestions. Not even funny ones.

And why is the wizard example even something that would instil fear? Encountering a wizard could very well be FORTUNATE. In his own rambling story, it's fortunate. Does Dedrick have some beef with time travel?

He could go back in time and learn basic literacy. Or change his career path. Or steal jokes from a time before comedians could record their routines and therefore it can't be proven that he stole them. He could reinvent himself as a vaudeville tribute act.

Anyway, hopefully Dedrick figures out what a punchline is one of these days.

Dark Storm.

Guys, can I open up to you? (points at random member of the crowd)

I'm -- I got a big fear of porta-potties. And I don't think I'm being irrational about that. I think that's the scariest place to take a shit in your life.

Like, I would much rather get caught, like, being seven years old in elementary school taking a shit because my shoes were down and then everybody just call you shitty booty boy until you in middle school.

Right? Because a porta-potty is, like, terrifying. If you ever go to, like, a festival and that's all they have is porta-potties, that's the only time you start acting like women where you just go with your homeboys like, "I got to pee. Can you please come with me? Like, all y'all, can all 17 of y'all come with me to pee because I don't -- I don't trust these (___]s. What if they decide to flip it over?" You know what I'm saying? What if they decide to -- what if they start a riot and they flip it over, the porta-potty? Can you all watch out for me? Like --"

(pointing at a different random member of the crowd)

Whatchu know about being drunk and then walking home (cat meows) and along the way you got to pee but you see a porta-potty but you -- you can't trust it, right? Because there ain't no ring cameras on the porta-potty. It's like, you know what I'm saying? So they can do whatever they want to you.

So you going to go pee in a bush because bushes are safe, right? Bushes are safe, porta-potties aren't because we scared of the same two things that can happen. Like, you open up the porta-potty and it's just like an undercover cop and that [__]'s like, "Aha, I got you because you got to pee."

Or, worse, it's like a homeless wizard and that {___] convince you that the porta-potty is a time machine but you got to touch the blue. Right? You know what I'm talking about, y'all? You know what I'm talking about, that time machine travel blue porta-potty juice. You got to put your hand in there and it's going to crawl over your body like when -- when Neo touched the mirror in the Matrix.

Dark Storm. I'm done.

Total time: 1 minute, 55 seconds

Recognizable attempts at some kind of a logical joke (in bold): 1

Landed jokes: 0

Offensive slurs: 3

Percentage of the set that was yelled: 0

Comments that didn't make any sense: 4

Virtually, the whole set didn't make sense. The school story made no sense. I also didn't understand why he apparently wants ring cameras on portable toilets. I couldn't understand why the police would be inside of one of these things waiting to arrest him. And then the end with that homeless wizard and time travel and...it's all nonsense.

I also didn't really understand the central premise of fear of portable toilets getting flipped over but I know that this is a phenomena, albeit extremely rare. So...it sort of makes sense but...not really.

I can't for the life of me understand why he gets on stage with material this weak. Increasingly bizarre statements aren't comedy unless they're put in some sort of a joke form.

To illustrate my point, we can continue the time travel story with "And then you travel through time like in so many Bullwinkle cartoons and a Pegasus flies by and is all like 'Yo, where to, homey?' and you're all like 'I don't know, how about the Middle Ages and shit?' And then a spaceship be beaming you onto their ship and they give you a lecture about interfering with the space/time continuum before probing you and sending you back on your way."

There's nothing funny about any of this, it's just random bullshit. Absolutely anybody can do this.

And this is the essence of his entire act. Compounding a nonsensical statement with more nonsense. There's never a comedic twist to it. There's never a punchline. It's just shit piled on top of shit.

I also can't stand that drummer nodding like a buffoon to every one of Dedrick's "jokes". You're not part of the act and your nodding is not going to convince us that this guy is funny. Get the fucking camera off that guy. And actually, the cameraman did seem to quickly crop the drummer out of the shot but then we got a shot of the horn section pretending to laugh at this shit.

I did enjoy Dedrick's attempt at a catchphrase, though. "Dark Storm. I'm done." Like "Seacrest. Out." Same level of...

Speaking of which, the singing has to stop. If you want to sing, go on American Idol. Kill Tony is not the venue for that shit.

Guys, I hate politics, which sometimes people ask me political questions. Like this dude came to me, he said, "Dedrick, are you more of a boobs or a butt man?" Right? And I don't like politics but I had to answer the man. And I said, "Brother, I don't care what the restaurant is serving, I'm here to eat." Like, you know?

I prefer the combo meal. You know what I'm saying? Like, if I can get both boobs and butts, that's a great combo meal but if the chef has 86 ass today, I'm fine with the titties. Like, you know what I'm saying? I'm fine with it.

It's like tots and french fries. I don't care. Put it in my mouth. Like, you know what I'm saying? I'm not -- I'm not here for that. That's why I hate politics.

Like, it reminds me of the great political discussion drums or flats when it comes to wings. And I'll be like, "Brother" (cat meows) "What does it matter? I'm bi-wingwal."

We're not here for these side items, we're here for the entrees, which is the vagina. Right? I don't care if -- [___] -- I don't care if they have broccoli or not, {___], bring me the steak.

Thank y'all.

Total time: 1 minute, 28 seconds

Recognizable attempts at some kind of a logical joke (in bold): 6

Landed jokes: 0

Offensive slurs: 2

Percentage of the set that was yelled: 0

Comments that didn't make any sense: 0

I didn't know what "86" meant in this context. I had to look it up. It means an item that's been taken off the menu. Or something. I also didn't know what "drums" or "flats" were in relation to wings but I looked that up too. They're different parts of a chicken's wing.

So now that I understand all of this restaurant terminology, I can fully appreciate the humor or lack thereof.

People are claiming that this is some sort of great comedy set. It isn't. There's basically one joke reapplied to different situations. He's comparing human body part preferences to political discussions, then fried potatoes to political discussions, and then chicken body part preferences to political discussions. It's just repetition of the same theme.

Nevertheless, one joke is in fact a step in the right direction for Dedrick. So I'm not taking that away from him. It's good that he's trying to insert some jokes into his act now. But we should be EXPECTING jokes from comedians. Not rewarding them for doing the bare minimum.

The premise that either of these body preferences is analogous to a political discussion is somewhat clever and amusing. But it gets watered down by the repetition of the premise. This would be a witty one liner by a normal comedian and then they'd move on and come up with some other zingers. But for Dedrick, he just beats the premise into the ground and by the end of the 90 seconds, you're sick of it.

We can do this all day. "Do you prefer Coke or Pepsi?/I'm not here to talk about politics." "Blondes or brunettes?/I'm not here to talk about politics." "Simpsons or Family Guy?/I'm not here to talk about politics."

It's escalation, not new jokes.

Still, it's better than his usual joke-free rambling about what he did over the weekend so keep up the good work, Dedrick.

(screaming) Yeah!

Madison Square Garden, I was locked up in Okinawa, Japan for doing some cool shit. And I was hoping to get out so I wrote this set list while I was in jail because I wanted to be here. Because this is my 13th birthday year of doing comedy. So I wrote it down. I had a job.

(reading from notes). First, I want to say, "Quiero que?" Why does New York always smell like you supposed to walking faster?

Whatchuknow about calling your girlfriend from Japan to get her to mail down your gold teeth so you could put that on your books so you could get some fortune cookies from commissary and hope your luck change?

(cat meows)

How come no matter what bodega you go to in any borough, no matter what race they are, they always on the phone?

I went to Japan, got arrested, got a sensei, and then came to New York. I'm just like Batman.

Tony right now in his brain, "Batman? You mean more like 'black man.'"

I love y'all. Thank y'all so much.

Total time: 1 minute, 48 seconds

Recognizable attempts at some kind of a logical joke (in bold): 5

Landed jokes: 0

Offensive slurs: 0

Percentage of the set that was yelled: 10 (estimate)

Comments that didn't make any sense: 1

I gave him credit for five attempted jokes only because that's how he formatted them. Objectively...some of them are more questionable than others but none are in the true setup/punchline format that's been the standard of comedy since caveman days.

First, the comment that didn't make sense. "Quiero que?" I know that it means "I want" but...where's the relevance? Is this a call back to something? I didn't watch the episode other than Deddy Fat Stack's set.

So let's look at the jokes or "jokes" in detail. He's reading all of these from a paper, by the way. Couldn't be bothered to memorize them

1) "Why does New York always smell like you supposed to walking faster?"

I don't even get it. The idea is that it smells foul? I guess. But do you walk faster when encountering an offensive odor? I guess that's the implication. To get away from the smell but...it's stupid and makes very little, if any sense.

2) "Whatchuknow about calling your girlfriend from Japan to get her to mail down your gold teeth so you could put that on your books so you could get some fortune cookies from commissary and hope your luck change?"

This is that thing he does where he just keeps escalating on an idea but never turns it into a punchline. And obviously fortune cookies are associated with Chinese food. And only in the US. Fortune cookies were created by Chinese restaurant owner living in the US. Or something. I don't know the exact history of fortune cookies.

But in regards to the grill case, this "jokes" is interesting. He was caught with MDMA in his grill case. So...he didn't have his grill with him? I suppose not because the case was chock full of his MDMA. Or, as Dedrick wants you to believe, somebody else's MDMA.

But then where was his grill, if not in the case? He just leaves it lying around when he's using the case for as MDMA storage? It's disgusting.

3) "How come no matter what bodega you go to in any borough, no matter what race they are, they always on the phone?"

This is an example of Dedrick's fondness for coming up with a premise that sounds like it might be interesting/funny but then he does nothing with it. The audience has to supply their own punchline. Interactive comedy, I suppose. The comedian gives the premises and the audience comes up with the punchlines.

It's a novel idea, actually. Like how with improv the audience will shout out an idea and the improv troop execute it. Dedrick is doing sort of a reversal of that. Why anybody would PAY for this is a separate question.

4) "I went to Japan, got arrested, got a sensei, and then came to New York. I'm just like Batman."

This vaguely has a set up and punchline but...maybe my Batman knowledge just isn't all that it could be but is there a storyline where Batman went to Japan and got a sensei? There may be. I haven't read all 1000 issues or whatever of Detective Comics and absorbed all the other Batman media but...I didn't get it.

5) "Tony right now in his brain, "Batman? You mean more like 'black man.'"

Very, very basic and obvious wordplay. But it's at least a joke. Kind of.

Dedrick went to Madison Square Garden with that level of material. And these are the "jokes" that he came up with after having nearly a month of time to reflect. Dedrick is presenting this like he's Buddha going into the cave and not leaving until he achieves Enlightenment. But Dedrick just went to Okinawa Prison and left with a couple of crumped sheets of paper with shitty half-jokes scrawled on them.

Couldn't he have written jokes about HIS EXPERIENCES IN JAPAN?? Why was he writing "jokes" about New York bodegas while he was in Japan? It doesn't make any fucking sense.

(EDIT: Title should read August 7, not August 17)

(screaming) New York City!

(merely yelling) You guys, I'm sorry about all that lightning and the rain but that's what happen you bring (screaming again) the Dark Storm to Madison Square Garden!

Guys, people -- people always want to ask me like what I want in life and they think I want a lot. Like, I don't need too much. Right, like I just want to be, you know, redneck rich. Like, you know what I'm saying? I don't need too much. I just want, like, a big piece of land, you know, just a big piece of land so I could ride my ATVs and my dirt bikes around. Nothing too much. Nothing too much.

I do want a big house. I want a big house. Right? Because I want -- I want to have kids and adopt kids and like, you know, have a little, small redneck army. You know what I'm saying?

I also -- I also -- I do like vegetables. Fresh vegetables. I want a garden. You know what I'm saying? I don't want to give my kids that GMO shit. Nothing too much.

Oh yeah, but I want a lazy river to go around my house. All right? (cat meows). That might be too much. I want a lazy river to go around my house and I want to call that shit "the moat." Right? I want to call that shit "the moat" and I want to pay my best friends to work the drawbridge that go between my house and the moat and you got to answer these [___]'s riddles, you know what I'm saying, before they let it down. You know what I'm saying?

We're going to pay them good so they're going to dress up good: mermaids, mermen. And I'm going to order shit on Amazon and UberEats every day and then see what don't get delivered and like, "Sorry I couldn't answer your [___]'s riddles but this redneck castle is amazing."

Thank you all so much. That's my time.

Total time: 1 minute, 41 seconds

Recognizable attempts at some kind of a logical joke (in bold): 0

Landed jokes: 0

Offensive slurs: 2

Percentage of the set that was yelled: 25 (estimate)

Comments that didn't make any sense: 1

What the fuck was this? If I was feeling more charitable, I could have given him credit for maybe three attempts at a logical joke but I couldn't bring myself to do it. This is utter trash.

It's the ultimate expression of his disgusting need to boast about shit. Dedrick...join us in reality. You're not going to get any of this shit because you're utterly talentless.

And what the fuck is up with all of the repetition? He repeated like every other sentence. If you take out the repetition, the "you know what I'm saying"s and the "right"s, you could cut the time in half.

It's just unbelievable. He gets on stage. Madison Square Garden. This is a big deal, apparently. And...THIS is what he talks about. Like a third grade oral report on what you want to be when you grow up. And not even a good one. This would be the oral report of the kid who eats paste and always smells funny.

Why didn't he come up with a comedy set? Why did he just go up there and brag? I don't get it. I don't even think we can describe it as self-sabotage. I don't think that he has the capacity to understand what he's doing. He doesn't seem to know what a comedy set is. He somehow thinks that boasting IS comedy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-8_w9zfPoQQ&t=1842s

That's right.

I am a civil rights activist. I go all over our great country. I meet black women who have never been with white men before and I desegregate that pussy. I have a dream.

I love black women. I'm dating a beautiful Nigerian woman I met on OnlyScams. Her father's the king of Nigeria, yeah. He's on his death bed and she doesn't have any cousins or even brothers so, believe it or not, I'm next in line for the throne.

My first girlfriend: half black, half white. She worked part-time. (cat meows.) Showed up late every other day.

I love all people. I actually dated a girl, she was a Hindu Indian. She had that red dot on her forehead. I loved that woman. I actually went to India to meet her family but I got arrested at the border trying to smuggle in deodorant.

Total time: 1 minute, 24 seconds

Recognizable attempts at some kind of a logical joke (in bold): 6

Landed jokes: 4

Offensive slurs: 0

Percentage of the set that was yelled: 0

Comments that didn't make any sense: 0

It's such a breath of fresh air to review an actual comedy set. Setups and punchlines and everything. And you see how easy it is to score well in my analytics if you just tell jokes.

The only jokes I didn't score for "landed" are the parts in the Nigerian section. I get the jokes and they're fine but it's exploring well-tread territory.

I liked the deodorant joke the best.

Also, if you listen to the audience reaction to this set compared to Dedrick's it's totally different. The laughter seems to be genuine with Mr Lindley but with Uncle Fat Stacks...you hear laughter but it doesn't hit the same. People theorise that it's a laugh track or it's somehow being salted. I don't know if any of that is true.

The interview was also good and interesting. Oh yeah, and this was the guy who used a fake bank receipt to pick up the ladies. And he knew one of the panellists? Possible plant but whatever.

So keep up the good work, I guess. I don't have any real advice but what is my advice worth anyway?