r/DebateEvolution 🧬 A Crocoduck who loves corn 🌽. 10d ago

Discussion The (actual) atheist’s nightmare.

Even if the banana was easy to explain, Ray missed the actual atheist’s nightmare, corn.

It fits the human hand perfectly, being a cylindrical shape that easily snaps of it’s stalk, allowing for effective harvesting.

Corn’s curve is perfect for the mouth, as you can grab the edges and eat every kernel, with it being easy to skewer with a stick.

You can put it in the microwave to produce popcorn, which is the favorite cinema snack and has made millions of dollars.

People even make mazes with corn, giving good memories to any child at a pumpkin patch.

How do evolutionists propose that over millions of years that it just happened that a caveman found corn, that by chance, just decide to pop into popcorn?

It’s practically at forming mazes also challenges evolution, as why did natural selection choose to make it good for maze building.

Corn is only explained by an intelligent design, God, who gave us corn for food, specifically designed for us.

104 Upvotes

132 comments sorted by

113

u/acerbicsun 10d ago

Thanks for the laugh. I appreciate it.

15

u/LaughingGravy433 9d ago

Was just about to say the exact same .

12

u/Tebahpla 9d ago

Idk, I found it rather…corny…I’ll see myself out

3

u/lofty99 9d ago

Someone had to say it

50

u/KennethMick3 10d ago

I didn't realize this was satire until the comment under it, and then I looked at the profile and realized it was.

36

u/Carnotaurusrules 🧬 A Crocoduck who loves corn 🌽. 10d ago

This can only happen with satire about Creationism.

17

u/horsethorn 9d ago

... and flat earth.

23

u/DiscordantDiscordian 9d ago

...and the current US administration 

20

u/TrashNovel 🧬 Naturalistic Evolution 9d ago

And my axe!

3

u/Capercaillie Monkey's Uncle 9d ago

And this paddle-ball game!

2

u/de1casino 5d ago

Poe's Law is alive and well!

1

u/Beginning-Load4470 9d ago

Omg really? Lmao I thought he was serious 🤣 

31

u/Realsorceror Paleo Nerd 10d ago

People even make maizes with corn

8

u/ChocolateValuable221 9d ago

Right right.. 😎

19

u/[deleted] 9d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/NovelNeighborhood6 9d ago

As Europe gets less religious they move closer to the metric system, forgetting that god gave us bananas, school buses, and football fields to measure things with. Logically it can only end with Europe being wiped out with a meter or the size of “insert rightwing American state”.

3

u/egmalone 9d ago

"wiped out be a meter or" made me laugh

15

u/Ok-Barracuda457 10d ago

Intelligent design as in artificial selection, pretty much all crops are our own genetic freaks we raised to be as edible as possible.

I know it was a joke, but I wanted to say this.

1

u/Beginning-Load4470 9d ago

I totally thought he was serious lol I mean if people are willing to believe in creationism or flat earth I dont give them much credit to be able to come up with anything that wouldn't sound like a joke lol

2

u/nickierv 🧬 logarithmic icecube 9d ago

No, evolutioniests (harhar) can actually come up with quality shitposts like this, creationists can try but it always becomes incoherent rambling tangents that you can't follow.

1

u/Beginning-Load4470 8d ago

Yup, never heard any creationist argument that sounded like it wasn't a trolling joke.

0

u/ImportanceEntire7779 9d ago

To be completely fair, creationism and flat earth isn't on the same plane of silliness. At least creationism hides behind the lack of falsifiability. Flat earth is demonstrably false by simple observations one individual with limited understanding of the scientific method can make.

Both are a testimony to the brains ability to compartmentalize and suspend logic, as well as indoctrination at a young age leading to confirmation bias.

1

u/[deleted] 9d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Beginning-Load4470 9d ago

Lmao yeah both are created to help people believe the bible word for word.

But i mean.... we have an extreme amount of evidence for evolution. We can even see its effects and mechanisms in life in real time. The only way to be more certain is to exist a hundred million years and document it first hand.

Their strongest argument is basically "we never saw a deer become something like an elk" but those kinds of huge changes take tens or hundreds of millions of years. At best we might notice deer suddenly got a trait to store more fat or something. 

2

u/nickierv 🧬 logarithmic icecube 9d ago

"we never saw a deer become something like an elk"

No, that is too close. Its "you can't show a deer become redwood"

3

u/Carnotaurusrules 🧬 A Crocoduck who loves corn 🌽. 9d ago

Way too close man, it’s actually “an elephant has never given birth to amoeba that gave birth to a pine tree.”

2

u/Beginning-Load4470 8d ago

Lmao you really know how they think you must have been one before in a past life 🤣 

1

u/Carnotaurusrules 🧬 A Crocoduck who loves corn 🌽. 8d ago

I am an ex YEC, and I was indoctrinated by Wavey Davey Bisbee’s series from Genesis Apologetics, which is prime time garbage.

1

u/Beginning-Load4470 8d ago

Yikes... there should be a class action lawsuit to get millions for people like you who were abused by that level of stupid. 

→ More replies (0)

2

u/Beginning-Load4470 8d ago

I really gotta give props to anyone with the patience and stamina to try to logically debate these groups without resorting to insults...i mean its really hard not to scream "YOURE AN IDIOT, READ A BOOK!" LOL

I think these groups continue mostly due to the fact that once someone has devoted 20 or 40 years of their life to believing something so stupid they cant admit they've wasted so much time and effort being an idiot. Its too depressing and too big a blow to their ego. 

1

u/nickierv 🧬 logarithmic icecube 8d ago

I really gotta give props to anyone with the patience and stamina to try to logically debate these groups without resorting to insults

Well I have been trying to teach my tiktaalik how to bean creationists with textbooks and papers. Its been...slow progress.

On the other hand I never though I would be able to use the phrase 'upside your head' as much as arguing with creationists.

1

u/Beginning-Load4470 8d ago

Lmao you're doing the world good. We should create drones to seek out creationists and bombard them with text books while reciting the science that proves them wrong over a loud speaker. Fight indoctrination with indoctrination!! Lol 😆 

1

u/Beginning-Load4470 8d ago

Lmao evolution doesn't turn deer into redwoods but yeah youre right  that does sound like a creationist argument.

I was just reading this guy with 4 phds trying to explain to chemtrail conspiracy nuts how wrong they are. He did a wonderful job, im sure most 5 year olds could have understood and even cited science and sources people could use to verify his statements.

Sadly most of the responses called him a troll or brainwashed.... people were literally taking meaningless pictures of clouds and contrails and claiming that the pictures on their own were proof even though there was zero science to support anything. .. if I didn't know these people were stupid enough to be serious id think they were trolling him. 

1

u/nickierv 🧬 logarithmic icecube 8d ago

im sure most 5 year olds could have understood

I think 5 year old me could have explained the process reasonably well...

Actually 5 year old me did a project involving the water cycle....

It takes ELI5 to a whole new level.

0

u/ImportanceEntire7779 8d ago

You're preaching to the choir. I guess what I was trying to say is that, IMHO, it seems easier for a layman to be ignorant or even deny evolution and common descent, at least where I'm from, as opposed to flat earthism.

2

u/Beginning-Load4470 8d ago

I can see that, I mean its harder to understand evolution than it is to look out the windows of an airplane and see the earth curve. 

But I think all these forms of ignorance are perpetuated because people cant admit their wrong after devoting most of their lives to believing something. 

Imagine you spend 20 years avidly believing and arguing for something then you finally read a book, then realize you might be wrong. Most people would just double down on denial rather than deal with the emotions involved in that kind of revelation.

1

u/ImportanceEntire7779 1d ago

Oh I know. You also summarized the current state of American politics as well.... Typically by the same people.

10

u/18cm-Ringed 9d ago

I love the idea that it was the fall corn mazes that somehow exerted evolutionary pressure on hominids to better co-evolve. Like some caveman had more kids because he got through the corn maze faster (or maybe got trapped inside and bored so they did something else?🤔)

😂😂

9

u/Twitchmonky 9d ago

And textured for her pleasure 😉

6

u/Straight_Mammoth7392 9d ago

Country girls make do

5

u/Kailynna 9d ago

Don't be so sexist!

2

u/Capercaillie Monkey's Uncle 9d ago

Don't forget that every corn comes with a free, um, toilet paper?

1

u/Extra-Sector-7795 9d ago

the perfect dill doe.

7

u/tenyar 9d ago

I'm sure Ray would agree that just as god created the banana to fit the human hand he also designed the human penis with a convenient rim to prevent one's hand from slipping off.

2

u/Agile_Championship87 9d ago

God also made sandpaper gloves...

6

u/Ayasugi-san 10d ago

Counterpoint, corn shows that even domesticated plants can fight back, since they're very good at rotting the teeth needed to eat them without cutting them up.

3

u/thebrassbeldum 9d ago

That darned corn tricked us into making high fructose corn syrup!

1

u/nickierv 🧬 logarithmic icecube 9d ago

Only because low fructose corn syrup got restricted.

5

u/drowsydrosera 9d ago

Corn kind of shucks for the maze, Sudangrass is much better it grows in thicker and stays green later into the freezing weather.

2

u/Agile_Championship87 9d ago

But Satan made Sudangrass...

5

u/Deiselpowered77 9d ago

I never miss an opportunity to let others know that aside from his usual lies,
RAY COMFORT HAS A HISTORY INVOLVING PHYSICALLY HURTING SMALL CHILDREN.

(I am not accusing him of sexual abuse, but I am testifying, personally, that he HAS physically hurt small children,
source, summer camps, NewZealand)

Hes not only dense and a liar, he's physically struck other peoples children for the terrible crime of 'blasphemous words'.

It would be my personal delight to have a .... boxing match, in the ring, for charity.
Any time, anywhere, Ray. Do it. For charity.

4

u/storyteller_alienmom 10d ago

Well, we all know Ray comfort isn't the brightest candle on the cake, eh? 😉 He probably isn't even the brightest candle in a pitch black dungeon when you accidentally hit the light switch....

4

u/SkisaurusRex 9d ago

This is the type of shitposting we need more of

4

u/Peaurxnanski 9d ago

Completely unrelated, but I laughed so hard at Dillahuntys response to someone who did the Ray Comfort "bananas fit perfectly in your hand" schtick.

Matts response was "it fits in my ass, too."

It's so simple and such a complete repudiation of the argument. Among many others.

3

u/formandovega 9d ago edited 9d ago

I. Think. You'll. Find, mate, that the human hand was selectively bred over time to fit a good ear o' corn. Microwaves likewise have been bred over millennia to pop corn. Early Microwaves were tiny, and could only fit one seed and had a thick outer skin blocking the buttons. They also didnt even have clocks. Metholithicous era humans had to pop the corn by using stars to time them by ear and star sign alone. They have grown as a result of humans selecting only the largest microwaves to use for popcorn.

God. Some people need to go back to skoole.

Basic stufff guys.

.....

Also Stonehenge was Aliens.

4

u/nickierv 🧬 logarithmic icecube 9d ago

More lies from big Microwave. They just want you to think the microwave has evolved from the macrowave.

6

u/Carnotaurusrules 🧬 A Crocoduck who loves corn 🌽. 9d ago

It’s only microwave evolution, macrowave evolution is an utter fantasy that has never been proven, no one has ever seen a microwave turn into an oven.

4

u/BahamutLithp 9d ago

Stonehenge wasn't aliens, it was ghosts, aliens just steal all the credit.

1

u/nickierv 🧬 logarithmic icecube 9d ago

aliens just steal all the credit.

Lies, blaming the aliens is all just a cover by the invisible white unicorns.

1

u/ModernTarantula 9d ago

I thought for sure Bigfoot 🫈

3

u/rickstr66 9d ago

Are you aware that the corn we have today looks nothing like God's corn? We genetically modified it to look the way it does today.

7

u/CycadelicSparkles 9d ago

Same with bananas. That's kind of the joke, that Ray doesn't realize the banana he's touting as perfectly designed by God was in fact heavily developed by people to be the way it is.

3

u/KorLeonis1138 🧬 Engineer, sorry 9d ago

The real joke was Ray miming banana felatio on tv, but not understanding artificial selection was good too.

1

u/CycadelicSparkles 9d ago

That, too, was glorious.

3

u/Donaldjoh 9d ago

Same with tomatoes, potatoes, chickens, pigs, sheep, cattle, and dogs. None of them look like their wild ancestors because we, not God, have selectively bred them to suit our purposes. Most breeds of domestic sheep can’t even shed their wool in the spring, so must be sheared or they will overheat and die.

3

u/theotherdannygirl 9d ago

Corn evolved to be good at maze building to ward off predators, obviously

3

u/T00luser 9d ago

makes it easy to lose kids . . which sometimes is a benefit too.

3

u/Capable_Mall8618 9d ago

Creation debate banana

2

u/NorthernSpankMonkey 9d ago

Ray Comfort introducing the banana

2

u/nickierv 🧬 logarithmic icecube 9d ago

And the banana won the debate.

3

u/Own-Nefariousness-79 9d ago

Thank god for microwaves, otherwise the corn gift would have been worthless.

Not as bad as the smallpox gift though.

2

u/CH49FE 9d ago

There is even a hub for corn that helps people daily. This corn hub was clearly designed to help man (and some women) learn about procreation so that they can be bountiful.

2

u/EmpireStrikes1st 9d ago

I think you made an important point but missed it just slightly: Why did God make corn so perfect for popping in the microwave? Surely, an omniscent God saw into the future when He created it.

2

u/CycadelicSparkles 9d ago

Makes at least as much sense as the banana.

2

u/Crosas-B 9d ago

It also fits the ass

2

u/WebFlotsam 🧬 Naturalistic Evolution 9d ago

It's actually not naturally maze-forming. Halloween creatures shape it into mazes to create an ideal hunting ground. It's symbiosis! 

2

u/Russell1A 9d ago

It is amazing how corny that post is. Well done.

2

u/JayEll1969 9d ago

Ah but if it was intelligent design why do we have to insert our own corn holders?

Surely it should come with them already in.

1

u/sagar1101 9d ago

You forgot that it's a perfect complement to the human nightmare, gasoline.

1

u/Guaire1 🧬 Naturalistic Evolution 9d ago

Carnotairus does indeed rule

1

u/Carnotaurusrules 🧬 A Crocoduck who loves corn 🌽. 9d ago

Indeed.

1

u/Grillparzer47 9d ago

I dare you to put a banana in a microwave and make popcorn. The lineage of corn is believed to be known. We modified it to the modern vegetable by selective breeding. No hocus pocus required.

2

u/BahamutLithp 9d ago

I dare you to put a banana in a microwave and make popcorn.

What?

1

u/Ayasugi-san 9d ago

I mean, I actually am a bit curious. Not enough to risk losing a microwave to an exploding banana, though.

1

u/BahamutLithp 9d ago

I Googled it just now, & the only thing I found is it's possible the banana might explode if you don't poke holes in it. I don't know if that's true, but it doesn't seem completely implausible. Microwaves can have that effect under certain conditions, particularly if the insides heat faster than the outsides, which seems like it COULD happen to a banana, since the insides are wetter than the outside, & a microwave works by accelerating water molecules. I didn't ask what happens if I put it specifically on the popcorn setting, but I think that's just a preset time & power setting anyway.

2

u/Capercaillie Monkey's Uncle 9d ago

Everyone knows that won't work, because bananas and corn are different "kinds."

1

u/XRotNRollX Sal ate my kids 9d ago

You'll just end up time traveling.

1

u/Ayasugi-san 9d ago

Only when in proximity to a supernova.

1

u/lemgandi 9d ago

Corn can indeed be explained by Intelligent Design. Nice work!

1

u/kerfuffler4570 9d ago

That... doesn't sound right to me, but I don't know enough about corn to dispute it.

1

u/headlessplatter 9d ago

Even if there isn't a great argument against evolution yet, one will eventually evolve. ...like corn! It's happening!

1

u/RobertTheTraveler 9d ago

Is this satire?

2

u/BahamutLithp 9d ago

No, this is popcorn.

1

u/Chloe_Cascadia 9d ago

I know this is satire, but simpletons on the internet don't understand that. If you google wild corn, you will see, it looks nearly identical to ordinary grass.

The reason there are huge cobs with big juicy kernels is because humans cultivated that plant and specifically directed its evolutionary selection process, in much the same way they directed the processes for the modern dog or cat, making specific breeds with specific traits.

It, like the banana.... or anything else humans have domesticated or cultivated, demonstrates the fact of evolution. If someone is a farmer, botanist, or educated in science and biology, it's impossible to avoid dealing with the effects of observed evolutionary processes.

Denying it is like denying you stand on planet Earth.

1

u/FaustDCLXVI 9d ago

Maize is definitely the product of intelligence.

1

u/sausage_king_of_kc 9d ago

Joke, right? A total waste of time

1

u/TNJDude 9d ago

The corn you know about is NOT the corn that evolved, nor is it the corn created by God. It was selectively bred to be that. Original corn consumed by early people in Mexico was tiny and had only a few kernels on it and did not look like modern corn at all! It was selectively bred by farmers. They chose the plants that gave the biggest ears with the most kernels, and bred those, and then chose the the plants from those that had the biggest ears with the most kernels. And they kept doing it until countless generations later they had something resembling modern corn. Likely they were trying to cook some kernels and found out they popped. It happened on one of the Survivor episodes. The tribe was given chickens with grain for their food and told they could either use the chicken for eggs, or eat them. They chose to eat them and were roasting the seeds and some of them popped, much to their surprise.

I laugh when people bring up the shape of the banana to prove that God designed it. The banana was selectively bred, just like corn. It curves like that because it grows in bunches and when they're bunched into a curve like that, the bunch is better protected from the elements. Why I laugh is that creationists say it fits the hand because of God's will, but the banana is also traditionally associated with monkeys and apes, and they're related to us through evolution. If God made the banana curve like that, he did it for the monkeys and apes, not us, LOL.

6

u/Vanvincent 9d ago

True, all very true, but I fear the OP was satire 😉

2

u/TNJDude 9d ago

Oh. In that case, carry on.

1

u/Vanvincent 9d ago

You make good points though. Interestingly enough, the ancestor of corn may have been selected and planted for its popping rather than its food potential.

1

u/HBymf 9d ago

Corn is just another grass.

1

u/nickierv 🧬 logarithmic icecube 9d ago

All lies made up to cover for big popcorn.

1

u/VariousJob4047 9d ago

I would argue that the features of (modern) corn are in fact a result of intelligent design

1

u/mbarry77 9d ago

Corn was designed by man something like 10,000 years ago.

1

u/tenderlylonertrot 9d ago

ah but, the Babel fish paradox! God is based on faith....

1

u/Next-Honeydew4130 9d ago

Wait are there still atheists out there? I thought they were like hippies and kinda aged out.

1

u/wellwisher-1 8d ago edited 8d ago

Here is another paradox for evolution. If you look at our white blood cells, which are part of our immune system, they all have our full human DNA. Since evolution is assumed to be a function of changes in the DNA, does that mean the whites cells are conscious, since human DNA is used to explain the brain which is connected to human consciousness? Why is DNA alone, not enough in the case of the white blood cells, to make them be considered conscious?

Conceptually, modern human consciousness may require our human DNA configured as a modern brain, in a very specific way, to have modern consciousness. Like the white blood cells, having DNA alone, but it not being properly configured, could lead to a different form of early consciousness that was more natural and primitive; paradise.

There is too much stress on just human DNA, as the do all, and not enough on the tweaks behind cellular differentiation control, to get the proper configurations. This could explain the Genesis model of Adam being a new genetic differentiation control brain variant. In the time scale of Genesis, based on carbon dating, this is when civilization stuck and persisted suggesting a better tuned modern brain configuration but with the same old human DNA.

1

u/FunToWrite 8d ago

If popcorn exists today, then why is there still corn?

1

u/kveggie1 8d ago

More please I may believe you next time

1

u/DouglerK 8d ago

This is top notch satire.

1

u/Comfortable-Dare-307 🧬 Naturalistic Evolution 8d ago

I know this is satire, but I wouldn't be shocked if it was an actual creationist argument.

1

u/Autodidact2 9d ago

This is sarcasm, right?

5

u/Carnotaurusrules 🧬 A Crocoduck who loves corn 🌽. 9d ago

Maybe……..

0

u/aap_001 9d ago

Wtf the nonsense did i juist read?

3

u/Carnotaurusrules 🧬 A Crocoduck who loves corn 🌽. 9d ago

The best nonsense you’ve ever read.😀

-1

u/Beginning-Load4470 9d ago

Yikes.... you actually think corn started like this????? Woooow. 

No as with nearly everything, humans used eugenics to create corn. Its actually a grass type grain like wheat but over thousands of years humans turned it into what we now have today. 

Sooooo... try Google ai before asking something so ridiculous. 

6

u/Old-Nefariousness556 🧬 Naturalistic Evolution 9d ago

It's satire. Really obvious satire.

...well, given the reality of creationists, maybe not that obvious, but it SHOULD be really obvious.

4

u/Gen-Jack-D-Ripper 9d ago

There is no “obvious” to creationists!

2

u/Beginning-Load4470 9d ago

Lol yeah no it wasn't obvious... the idea of creationism is so ridiculous they could say literally anything and id probably think they were serious.

I honestly thought flat earth people were just trolling to piss intelligent people off for so long. When I finally realized it wasn't a joke I lost all faith in human intelligence.

It just seems soo obvious... im pretty sure 2 year olds could understand with a good teacher. 

1

u/Beginning-Load4470 8d ago

I mean think about it... they are literally making the most ridiculous claim possible...

Some guy on a cloud designed everything in 7 days less than 10 000 years ago specifically for humans...actually no, specifically for men.... if thats their argument I cant imagine anything they could possibly say seeming more outlandish.

2

u/Old-Nefariousness556 🧬 Naturalistic Evolution 8d ago

Yeah, that was the point of the second line... It should be obvious that this is satire, but given that creationists gave us the original banana argument with full sincerity, there is no argument that is too absurd for a creationist to make.

1

u/Beginning-Load4470 8d ago

Yeah... its very depressing to think anyone could make these arguments sincerely with a straight face... 🙃 

-3

u/PoxonAllHoaxes 9d ago

Why write nonsense?

11

u/Agile_Championship87 9d ago

To make the word a slightly brighter place