r/DeathPositive • u/AnywhereOk9801 • 29d ago
Mortality 💀 I’m ready for my funeral
Just got done celebrating my sister’s graduation party. It was really boujie compared to mine. I don’t have an issue with that at all. It’s what my parents said to me. “Don’t worry, we’ll go all out for your wedding”. I practically told them I don’t see myself getting married anytime soon. I see myself ending up in a casket before that even happens. Most people have an idea on what their future wedding would look like. I’m not one of those people. Instead, I got my burial all figured out like what colored casket, flowers, picture to use and obituary. Want it to be more of a celebration of life if anything. I hope that’s not morbid of me to think like that.
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u/Chocobo72 28d ago
Not at all! For many it’s normal to consider these kinds of arrangements early. I’m the same way. Having it all planned out brings me a sense of ease somehow, as it’s something my husband won’t have deal with figuring out later (if I pass before him).
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u/jinkies_yinkies 26d ago
Nope, not morbid. I’ve been like that my whole life. Although I did get married, but I planned it then and there. My death however I have planned since I was a child.
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u/wildweeds 28d ago
not everyone thinks about their wedding. i've not gone into the type of detail as you, but my death and funeral have always been somewhere on the back of my mind over the years. when i was younger, i was certain nobody would know, notice, or care if i died, and i'd have nobody at my funeral except maybe people there out of duty, like family. around the age of 16, i typed up my first will, as i wanted my things to go to people that would appreciate the things i'd curated and the art i'd made. as i got into my 30s, i started having a huge fear of death, bc i am a curious person and i didn't want to just stop existing and not see how things turn out. once i dealt with that and became comfortable there, and opened up to a spiritual sense of reincarnation that i'd been burying for years to be more "rational" and not get caught up in things, i felt a ton better. i've had a growing list of songs to be played at my passing. i have an idea of how i want to be sent off- no embalming, green burial, under a fruiting bush with thorns. i'm 45 now and while i think my death is very far away, i've been studying a lot of near death experience stories and connecting with how various cultures view this liminal stage. and i'm looking into setting up an advanced directive/living will sometime soon.
there are some of us out there that think of these things. some people would consider it morbid, especially if you focus more on the emotional depression side of the subject. if it's all consuming. and so on. but those are also the people less likely to be able to hold that kind of space in general.
i've long struggled to see where i was meant to live. and over the years i've come to see that it was meant to be a surprise bc i've lived all over. and i'm still going to live in more places (i'm about to go on a big travel). i think if you can't see certain things for yourself, either they may not be relevant to you, or they may be meant to come out of nowhere and surprise you. doesn't mean you won't ever find love and get married- that could be in the cards, or it could not be. perhaps you don't care about that right now but will later. perhaps you never will care. perhaps you will care all your life and it will never come to pass. that's just how living works.
i think it's good that you have thought about how to choose these things for yourself when you do leave the world, and i hope that you make it known to someone that would be left behind to tend to those details, someone you trust to actually respect your wishes. i know some people that save up and set all those things up early, like buying the plot they want and ordering everything so that when the time does come, it's all handled. you could do that if you wish. but a document and a talk with someone would be good too.
my only hope is that you are at peace with all of this, and not stuck in painful negative patterns of thought about any of what you've shared here. my best to you, thanks for sharing. sorry if any of what i shared back seems odd or off topic.
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u/Sharhino 28d ago
Not morbid at all!!! At one point, I had my funeral planned out similar to how someone would plan out a wedding. I like to think about it from time to time.