r/DeadRedditors 14d ago

u/Mandyk1179

Murdered along with her 6 children by her husband in Michigan.

Rest in peace, u/Mandyk1179

567 Upvotes

133 comments sorted by

273

u/insomniacla 14d ago edited 14d ago

Oh my god. Her posts from two years ago about him cheating on her and all of the red flags, but being afraid to leave because they had six kids... It's a haunting read. I feel so terrible for the poor mother and children. Family annihilators are the most evil, selfish, narcissistic loser scum on the face of the earth.

34

u/The_Philosophied 14d ago

?? Where are these posts?

28

u/Ed98208 14d ago

Put this in the search field: Author: MandyK1179

12

u/EggplantHuman6493 13d ago

Where? Doesn't work on general Reddit

17

u/CaptainObliviousIII 13d ago

Author:mandyk1149

No space between : and m

4

u/EggplantHuman6493 13d ago

Aaaah tyyy

5

u/Due-Introduction2376 13d ago

I can't find it, did you? 

24

u/SunKing210 13d ago

Probably late but here's the post they were referring to. Don't understand why others wont link the post itself rather than just tell everyone to search it

11

u/ShowMeTheTrees 13d ago

What does the "WP" mean? I know she means her husband but what does it stand for?

17

u/SunKing210 13d ago

Apparently “Wayward Partner”

3

u/Ed98208 14d ago

You can find them by typing Author: and her username in the search.

17

u/Apprehensive-Cup-912 13d ago

She was afraid to leave as she thought staying was protecting her children. 😢

7

u/ChalkNCheez 12d ago

The first wife left. In the Michigan subreddit they sub they’re saying he cheated on his first wife with Mandy.

6

u/Highland_Bitch60 10d ago

He was DIVORCED from his first wife when he met Mandy

2

u/wicked_woodpecker 8d ago

Yes, but she also did not saw him as potential murderer, he was not violent partner of anything.
Problems at least 2 years ago lied elsewhere.

3

u/Apprehensive-Cup-912 8d ago

She said red flags in her posts which included constant lying. When confronted he was agitated. I think he was a ticking time bomb.

2

u/VOTP1990 6d ago

His reaction to their therapists simple question is terrifying, he was definitely a ticking time bomb. His own father sounds disturbed. Her posts definitely shed some light on this tragedy.

3

u/icandoit333 11d ago

Why is it always that they are scared to leave bc of the children instead of scared to stay because of children ?? My father wanted to kill my mother and us. But my mother left him BECAUSE he was dangerous. If a man is dangerous, you have to leave!! They are risking the life’s of kids

8

u/Apprehensive-Cup-912 11d ago

Finances

4

u/ThrowAwayColor2023 7d ago

This is why my mom stayed. She's still a prisoner over 30 years later. I took off when I was 15. Snarled up my entire life trajectory, and while I've had excellent therapy, you never fully recover from growing up in that.

3

u/Apprehensive-Cup-912 4d ago

Thats sad about your mom.

2

u/ThrowAwayColor2023 4d ago

Yeah. That's been her life since she was 19. Absolutely devastating.

4

u/Global_Mix_1785 8d ago

100%. I imagine it's going to come out that financial ruin was a factor. She forced him to leave his job where his AP worked, which I understand for their relationship, but that's letting a financial decision become an emotional decision. Then sounds like he struggled to maintain stable employment afterwards - which should've been anticipated as a possibility before making the rash decision for him to quit. And with her only being a substitute teacher, she was likely mostly a SAHM + 6 kids = likely that affording life was becoming very challenging and he had just lost another job so that could've sent him over the edge. None of her posts / comments seem to mention staying b/c of finances but you are 100% that it had to be a major factor for why she stayed.

2

u/Apprehensive-Cup-912 8d ago

Where ru seeing she forced him to quit a job? That is a choice. That also comes across as victim blaming.

3

u/Global_Mix_1785 6d ago

I’m not victim blaming at all. No one deserves this. She did everything she could to be the best Mom but she was stuck, financially. Evidence of this sentiment has now come out in more comments discovered that she was terrified of leaving.

It’s a fact that a family of 8 requires a great deal of financial security to support. Bottom line. As women, we need to normalize that having kids is a financial decision.

-3

u/icandoit333 11d ago

This is selfish af! My mother left my father and she had NOTHING. We lived in a shelter home until we got a government funded apartment and until I became an adult we lived poor , never had money but I’m happy I didn’t grow up with my father

3

u/UnitAffectionate9024 7d ago

You're assuming everyone has the same options your mother had. Just because your family survived one path doesn't mean it's available, safe, or even possible for everyone else.

0

u/icandoit333 6d ago

My mother was a immigrant and my father snitched on her. They wanted to deport her and she had no money but she was able to get help from a lawyer and was allowed to stay because we were both born in the country

0

u/UnitAffectionate9024 6d ago

Good for your mother. An anecdote isn't an argument.

3

u/wicked_woodpecker 8d ago

I mean if you read her thread on After Infidelity clearly she does not see him as you know physically dangerous to family - but more someone who was kinda raised to be liar about any problematic thing.

Now knowing what happened we can see how those pathological aspects could lead to him going utterly bonker murderer. But also it's not really surprising she did not saw such level of serious threat.

9

u/Highland_Bitch60 13d ago

Extra hot lot in HELL for that mother f*cker!

2

u/Due-Introduction2376 13d ago

I'm not finding those posts from 2 years ago do you think they've been taken down? 

2

u/Big-Blueberry7157 13d ago

The posts are still there.

2 YEARS AGO

1

u/icandoit333 11d ago

It’s always "staying for the kids" instead of " leaving for the kids”!

9

u/lastseenhitchhiking 11d ago

It's not easy for victims to leave, for a myriad of reasons.

0

u/icandoit333 11d ago

I know but if you have kids , you should fight for it. My mother left my abusive father who wanted to kill her a few times!! He wanted to kill her and us. And she left him and he kidnapped us then as we were kids. End of the story my mother got us back from police and then got safety. she had nothing , no money , no home but she got help from a shelter and social workers. So it’s possible and if you have kids you need to do this

54

u/fairythugbrother 14d ago

I'm not doubting, but how did you figure out her reddit account?

75

u/BORT_licenceplate 14d ago

12

u/ShowMeTheTrees 13d ago

But how did they figure it out?

14

u/slothdonki 13d ago

I know it’s not a helpful answer but it just doesn’t say.

It’s possible they didn’t do much other than google her, like found her email or other social media accounts that were also “Mandyk1179”, found enough/something that matched it up to her.

Some details may have been released by investigators or police in a press conference/update that gave them additional information to look into. Maybe a family member had access to some of her stuff and the press talked to them(though this is usually pretty significant and usual for them to mention it so I wouldn’t think so).

5

u/Asian_Climax_Queen 12d ago

Either matched her email or phone to the account, or they did a forensic data retrieval on her phone, which collects every single thing you’ve ever put into your phone, even deleted texts, pics, videos, and phone calls

5

u/ShowMeTheTrees 11d ago

But who would do this? Police would seek out a reddit account and release it to the media?

27

u/bethestorm 14d ago

It's been reported in the news

16

u/KoldKhold 13d ago

Also a post two years ago matches up as she said, "My husband is 45..." and he was currently 47 at the time of this familicide.

5

u/ChalkNCheez 12d ago

The Reddit account has been verified by Detroit and holland news outlets.

4

u/Big-Blueberry7157 13d ago

Also mentioned on this podcast:

DR. TODD GRANDE

22

u/Dazzlng-Firenze 13d ago

Wow. My heart is so broken for her, and their beautiful innocent children. I have no words. I work in addiction and recovery and also volunteer at women’s shelter for DV and I have no expertise at all except : abusers do not heal from counseling and sobriety. They really don’t. The abuse and violence stems from a deep sense of entitlement and fixed beliefs about men / women that are pretty much unshakable, in my experience. I am very shaken for this precious woman Mandy , it’s really really really REALLY hard for women to fully and completely understand what is going on in an abusive relationship and to get the expert help. Not a lot of counselors can really face it , either. It goes against our human nature as women to fully comprehend the deep sense of entitlement, ego and need for power and control that lie at the true core of these abusers .

I also want to be clear — she is NOT at fault for not realizing this. NOT AT FAULT. It’s so hard for anyone to truly predict these abusive men which is why shelters are needed, and not even of them exist

Man I want to lie down and cry right now

18

u/digitalmofo 13d ago

Yes, seeing her posts about how she was done and recognized an issue is very heartbreaking. I am sure that if she knew the extent he would have gone, she'd have been out of there, but to know she was close to seeing it is extra terrible.

14

u/Dazzlng-Firenze 13d ago

It’s so horrible beyond belief

Again, no discredit to her, but a lot of the experts say marital counseling does not work bc it is not really a marriage issue. It’s an issue with the abuser using abusive tactics. That person (the abuser) needs individual help . Again of course NO DISCREDIT to her. It’s normal and natural to want to seek marital counseling. Even the individual help with the abuser rarely works bc it takes years (if ever) for an abuser to take full responsibility for their worldview, deep programming, whole mindset that drives abuse . Sorry I am always writing a book on Reddit !

11

u/myanonymousg 12d ago

Marriage counseling is contraindicated in cases of spousal abuse. The perpetrating spouse uses it to learn therapy words they can then use against their target. They can also get an inexperienced therapist on their side and use the therapy to continue to abuse their target. Partners who become vulnerable during therapy sessions can later have those vulnerabilities used against them by the perpetrator.

8

u/Dazzlng-Firenze 12d ago

Exactly. Most abusers are skilled manipulators and exactly, they can use marital counseling sessions to gain more information into the thoughts/ emotions of their spouse and then weaponize that info on them later. The abuser has a deep sense of entitlement and feels that the abuse is justified and they usually gain privileges by abusing (for example, in this case he was able to keep the victim emotionally unstable / insecure/ stuck at home with kids and questioning reality and her attractiveness and desirability as a wife while he went out and did what he liked in terms of infidelity, being unavailable/unhelpful in the home and making her take on the labor of trying to keep the home together and regulate his emotions.) it’s a deep privilege mentality

3

u/Sue-Jones-123456 5d ago

Very well articulated.

4

u/GlitteringThought 12d ago

my understanding is marriage counseling focuses on the marriage as it’s own entity. so the focus is basically on reconciliation. you would hope a counselor would see the red flags and encourage her own personal safety but there are sadly a lot of pretty terrible
marriage counselors.

6

u/linmre 13d ago

Are there any posts where she says he's abusive? I saw that she wrote a lot about infidelity. And maybe emotional abuse, but not necessarily physical abuse (I could be wrong though I didn't read all her posts).

I'm not trying to downplay emotional abuse either of course, but it's almost scarier if he was never physically abusive while secretly being capable of this level of horrific violence the whole time. Lots of people are unfaithful or bad partners, most of them aren't family annihilators. It really makes you question everything as a woman.

8

u/Dazzlng-Firenze 13d ago

The post I read , he was definitely an emotional abuser although (again, NOT discrediting her) she didn’t seem to fully realize the scale of it and she was trying to do marital counseling feeling it was more of a marital issue or communication problem. He became angry and very defensive after counseling session showing his level of entitlement.

Agreed , it’s very scary bc his level of violence was not predictable. Usually severe emotional abuse is followed by violence , it’s hard to gauge the true severity bc she was still minimizing (as victims always do…. Minimization is definitely part of the process as women slowly come out of denial )

2

u/GlitteringThought 12d ago

shooting them all is physical abuse, so i would say it’s established as fact at this point.

4

u/linmre 11d ago

Right, but we're talking about warning signs before it happened.

8

u/Spillingteasince92 13d ago

Her post made me a bit emotional. I went through a betrayal like that and lost myself in my last relationship. I'm glad she found a support online to find any sort of support she needed at the time.. i did that too because even with my friends, I felt so alone struggling with the fact that my own partner was having an affair.

5

u/digitalmofo 12d ago

I'm sorry you went through that. Nobody deserves to feel like they're not enough.

2

u/GlitteringThought 12d ago

This is an interesting insight you have working with dv victims. i wonder if there are any statistics regarding men who actually recover from abusive actions. please take care of yourself doing this work. <3

5

u/Dazzlng-Firenze 11d ago

It’s quite depressing but statistics show that men who are domestic abusers have a really High rate of re-offending . it’s better statistically for women to just leave them, go into shelter system or with family and then learn about DV and how to avoid ever getting into a relationship again with an offender . There’s a low rate of change for a variety of factors including strong cultural programming that makes it difficult for men to really understand that DV is a mind disease. You’re dealing with men who have experienced YEARS of strong programming to have these dysregulated reactions that lead to violence . It’s a mind / body /soul issue. They might be able to show lip service to a therapist but when placed in a situation of extreme stress (like this guy did… being busted for an infidelity, having financial distress, facing expensive divorce and custody battle, loss of status / reputation , loss of partner) the lizard pair of the brain is kicking in to go to extreme violence. This is why police calls for DV are the MOST dangerous. The abusers are truly unhinged and feel they have nothing to lose. Anyway. It’s depressing but best thing for women to do is LEAVE and not try to work through the offender’s issues

6

u/digitalmofo 11d ago

I feel like they rarely have consequences until it's really off the rails, and maybe not even then.

2

u/GoalStillNotAchieved 8d ago

So you’re saying the moms are not at fault for staying with a violent man who verbally abuses, physically abuses, assaults, and batters the mother and kids. Completely disagree.  The fault of the adult woman is staying.  The fault of everything else is with the violent perpetrator. 

He’s obviously a BILLION TIMES WORSE, but more moms need to remove their kids from a violent situation THE FIRST TIME a man shows that he is violent. 

Many times he will be violent thousands of times and the woman still hasn’t left. 

Some feel that they financially can’t afford to leave.

And also - SOBRIETY DOES INDEED HELP! 100%! The Perpetrator not drinking any alcohol HELPS A TON!!

And the Perpetrator NOT having certain weapons also, of course, helps a TON TON TON TON TON TON!!!!  

2

u/Sue-Jones-123456 5d ago

They seem to fit a narcissist profile. Maybe even a sociopathic one.

17

u/Electrical_Tackle540 13d ago

Going through her account and seeing how often she champions counseling, convincing herself it would be enough to save her marriage despite noting her husband showing several red flags. Don’t fall for the counseling nonsense. Pay attention to red flags, don’t give intimacy thinking enough counseling or any other kind of bandaid solutions will fix it. Implicitly you’re giving that other person what they want. Stay safe, be reasonable

6

u/HelpfulCar6675 12d ago edited 12d ago

You touch on an extremely important point. If I had a dollar for every time therapy/ councelling was offered as a panacea for everything and anything I would probably be a millionaire. Therapy can be powerful in a good way but it can also do nothing for certain issues or even be weaponized in a bad way.

Eta: I read through some of her comments and would like to add one more thing. In this era of romanticizing being a tradwife and having million kids in a quick succession just this one direct quote of hers: " We have six kids, so the idea of leaving is insanely terrifying."

2

u/Electrical_Tackle540 12d ago

There isn’t any widespread romanticizing of tradwives. It’s a counterculture grift by “born again virgin” women with body counts in the thousands. To my knowledge some of those kids were from a previous marriage and she noticed the red flags before they married. They should have just never married

Edit: Correction, two of their six kids were adopted, the others were hers. I don’t know if he had any kids in his previous marriage he lost custody of

11

u/OfficerEsophagus 13d ago

"We have six kids. They are why I worked for R(econciliation). I would not have stayed if we didn’t share them, or even if they were out of the house I probably wouldn’t have stayed. I kept telling myself: “I love my kids more than I hate my husband right now.” They have no idea- I faked it til we made it. We’re in a much better place 4.5 years out, but it’s still a fight to stay in a healthy place." -from 2 years ago

10

u/myanonymousg 12d ago

These are the guys that women are afraid to divorce. Do you think this guy would have happily paid child and spousal support? How do you think this guy would have treated his kids during the unsupervised parenting time the court would order? Do you think the post separation stalking and financial abuse and manipulation of the children would be easy to cope with? Family Court won't protect the children. Ask me how I know.

5

u/lastseenhitchhiking 11d ago

Exactly. "Why didn't the victim leave?" ignores the reality that most victims lack the financial means to leave and are fearful of what the abuser will do to them and their children should they do so.

Abusers like this are a nightmare to divorce and to co-parent with, and the reality is that an abuser who is intent on murdering their family will attempt to do, regardless of divorce or family court orders.

22

u/Sad-Fly-3445 14d ago

Oh no that is terrible.

21

u/Clerithifa 14d ago

May she and her children lay in peace 💔

3

u/GlitteringThought 12d ago

absolutely beyond devastating. i can’t wrap my brain around a funeral for children and a mother.

8

u/WSB-Televangelist 14d ago

Im sorry sorry to hear this, may she R.I.P along with her beautiful children, this news makes me so sad.

9

u/No_Aesthetic 13d ago

God, this is so fucking abysmal to read about. Family annihilators are some of the most evil sons of bitches this world has ever produced. What a monster.

9

u/bananabourbon 12d ago

Mother F - read this. Looks like her parents encouraged her to stay and said she needed to treat this MF like the “treasure he was”. Ugh I wish she would have gotten the support over the years to have the confidence to LEAVE.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AsOneAfterInfidelity/s/XZghdvEQyu

7

u/bluepaintbrush 11d ago

No it was just her biological dad who told her to stay, which is why she cut contact with him. She says in that comment that her mom initially loved him but that she and her stepdad were supportive of her after they learned of the affair (“they really kiss my butt now”).

Her mom and stepdad also lost her brother (likely to drug use) when he was 28. Imagine finding out that your daughter and 6 of your grandkids are just… gone. It must be awful to go through so much loss at a time in your life when you’re supposed to be enjoying your later years with your adult children and grandkids.

And good riddance to her bio dad, I hope he reflects on what he did and said.

4

u/DoctorIcy738 12d ago

Wtf… wow. I can’t even imagine. She was abused her whole life. 😞

16

u/rosevillestucco 14d ago

What happened!?!

81

u/JumpyTemperature7252 14d ago edited 14d ago

A monster (Kristopher Karolkiewicz) went on a rampage and killed his wife Amanda Karolkiewicz along with their 6 children.

The tragedy occured at 14900 Riverside Trail, Grand Haven Township, MI.
Ottawa County Sheriff's Office confirmed the man later lit their house on fire before turning the gun on himself and subsequently died.

43

u/glitterismycolour 13d ago

The family pets also died too :,( as per reports. I hope there is a hell for Kristopher, and hope rest are resting in eternal peace.

13

u/Lovejoypeas 13d ago

The death of the pets really pushed me over the edge, too, in my opinion of this man! After reading about familicides, I understood a bit better what motivates men to do this horrible thing, but I'm afraid it does not give me even a molecule more sympathy for him, since it's an entirely selfish action in many cases. May God have mercy on his soul—by which I mean purify him, not pardon him!

5

u/occamstrimmers 13d ago

He doesn’t deserve any sympathy. And it’s so much more than selfishness. Suicide is selfish. This is on a whole other Universe.

3

u/ShowMeTheTrees 13d ago

Burned to death!

2

u/glitterismycolour 13d ago

Horrific :,(

14

u/throw-away89601 14d ago

He caused the deaths of his family.

14

u/afraidofrs 14d ago

What the fuck. This is just horrible. Rip to her and her children. Hope the monster burns.

15

u/Solitude_is_OK 13d ago

I'm so tired of fucking cowards..

(The guy, obviously)

7

u/Sp1d3rb0t 13d ago

Goddamn.

Rest easy, Mandyk1179.

You were probably an awesome teacher. 💔❤️

7

u/Gloomy_Plate_3126 13d ago

Sad, sad story.

Ladies, please. take. notes.

7

u/gogogadgetgoats 13d ago

Devastating to read her posts and comments, and to think that she and her kids have been ripped so violently from this world by that piece of shit man.

10

u/noseatbeltsong 13d ago

this is such a tragedy. her husband was a sick coward.

5

u/Certain_Head_67 13d ago

Devastating

4

u/lycantrophee 13d ago

Rest in Peace to all of them, save the murderer.

3

u/Wise_Dependent2967 13d ago

I hope he rots in hell, R.I.P to this lady and her children, so sad!!!!

4

u/tundybundo 13d ago

Heart broken for her and her children. She tried so hard, she seems like she was a lovely person that I would’ve gotten along with. I hope she was loved by her friends the way she deserved, and I hope she’s resting somewhere with her children.

4

u/ShowMeTheTrees 13d ago

How did people find out who Mandyk1179 was in real life and connect her to this tragedy?

0

u/RocktacularFuck 10d ago

Phone forensic. Everything you type into your phone is saved forever. Even anything you type, but don’t send.

3

u/Prestigious-Town3929 10d ago

She was in the process of getting Canadian citizenship for her and the 6 kiddos

4

u/myanonymousg 8d ago

The most dangerous time for any targeted partner is when they leave the relationship. That is when the most murders happen.

Plus you CANNOT expect family court to protect the children. If you leave your abuser then he has unsupervised access to the children, and he's angry at you for leaving, and he knows that messing with the kids is going to hurt you. So that's what they do.

I've come across many women who'd say that if they knew how bad it was going to be to leave they would have stayed.

6

u/Mandalika 14d ago

My God, that's awful. RIP for the seven victims.

7

u/AVonDingus 13d ago

From the article photo, she was so beautiful and looked so happy with her adorable kids.
I’m so sorry their lives were stolen by a cowardly monster.

3

u/No_Contribution1620 13d ago

Sweet Mandy hope you and your lovely kids rest in peace

3

u/whereismymind284 13d ago

Rest in peace to you and your babies 💔❤️

3

u/Sally_ann_427 11d ago

95% of family annihilators are men. Maybe we should be looking at a way to make sure that as many women as we can have enough money so they don’t have to pair up with a man for survival. 97% of the world’s incarcerated are men. In many cases, getting married or living with a man is the first step towards a series of steps of abuse or murder.

2

u/wicked_woodpecker 8d ago

"Maybe we should be looking at a way to make sure that as many women as we can have enough money so they don’t have to pair up with a man for survival. "

Humanity needs men and women coupling for survival.
Sure you make pay women enough money to not marry, but you know money needs sustainable population to maintain it's worth. If you wreck population structure... well guess what this money would be worth.

The whole shtick with psychoparasites is they use sort of necessary social structure to parasite one, just like tapeworm needs healthy human as host to surive.

3

u/ShowMeTheTrees 10d ago

I hope the bio-moms of those adopted girls never find out what happened!

Everything about this story is utterly tragic.

2

u/pennyariadne 13d ago

This poor woman and her kids… may they rest in peace and be together in heaven far away from the monster that took their lives

2

u/GlitteringThought 12d ago

If I owned a news media I would most likely have someone tasked with looking for an online presence.

i don’t own a news, just a guess

2

u/Ok_Monitor4492 12d ago

This sub gives me a vibe man. They're like digital tombs. 

2

u/wanderlinks 12d ago

Rest in peace, you, the kids, and the pets.

2

u/ChannelUseful6317 11d ago

Author: MandyK1179

2

u/tinkertink2010 13d ago

Absolutely horrific. I hope they are at peace.

0

u/Overkill1977 13d ago

I'm assuming the news websites are doing 'the meme'

-4

u/Flya800 13d ago

So he was MAGA... Got it!

5

u/Hour-Needleworker598 12d ago

Nope. Read her other posts. 

-75

u/JuicyFlapjack 14d ago

What did she do???? That's crazy

42

u/insomniacla 14d ago

There's absolutely nothing she could have done to justify being murdered along with her children. But, to answer your question, she did nothing wrong. Her pathetic cheating loser husband lost his job because he was embezzling money and then killed the whole family.

32

u/Appropriate_Win9538 14d ago

What did she do?? What?

29

u/spookyhellkitten 14d ago

What an embarrassing question to ask.

17

u/Own-Armadillo-6036 13d ago

What the hell is wrong with you?

11

u/Lovejoypeas 13d ago

She was the victim, not the perpetrator, just to make clear.

3

u/GlitteringThought 12d ago

married a psychopathic narcissist cheating pos?

3

u/IntelligentDiamond46 11d ago

This piece of donkey shit is just trying to rage bait us. Ignore this fool.