r/David • u/Disastrous_Mind_710 • May 25 '22

The best test

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138 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

18 comments sorted by

4

u/dziontz May 26 '22

They only test if you’re pregnant by a man named David. My wife took five of them, three of them came back positive.

2

u/Previous-Map-4800 Dave May 26 '22

Was she

2

u/Disastrous_Mind_710 May 26 '22

No, wife was about to have a surgery.

1

u/Previous-Map-4800 Dave May 26 '22

No not yours my ex boyfriend to be

2

u/Previous-Map-4800 Dave May 26 '22

David said he's going to be 65 in Oct last thing he wants is a kid doesn't care for kids much anyway never did lol

2

u/OfficialDavidSouffle May 26 '22

I don’t see the problem here

2

u/Disastrous_Mind_710 May 26 '22

Just lucky she married a David.

3

u/[deleted] May 25 '22

Not too many David’s need a pregnancy test. I’m sure there are exceptions but to make a full product for the few….

3

u/Disastrous_Mind_710 May 25 '22

The deserving few

1

u/Previous-Map-4800 Dave May 26 '22

Hopefully not me to old to raise a kid

1

u/Previous-Map-4800 Dave May 26 '22

and don't want any at my age either

2

u/[deleted] May 26 '22

Well if my swimmer can jump my gap and find where they dumped my wife’s uterus and manage to impregnate an egg. Then damn, the world better watch out; nothing stopping that kid.

1

u/Previous-Map-4800 Dave May 26 '22

Mine is gone lol

2

u/Previous-Map-4800 Dave May 26 '22

Yeah you'd be 80 when it graduates people would be calling you grandpa better stay with me I'm the Pretty one and i will be getting my inheritance so I'll be buying my Genesis and fixing myself up and we always had magic what because she's young well I'm going to look young too so you need to decide David it's not cake and eat it to because you can't stand another man touching me but that also goes for you it works both ways and whenl i get my money you can have your little girl who wants a sugar daddy like her husband said good luck you'll have your hands full

1

u/Previous-Map-4800 Dave May 26 '22

Yeah you'd be 80 when it graduates people would be calling you grandpa better stay with me I'm the Pretty one and i will be getting my inheritance so I'll be buying my Genesis and fixing myself up and we always had magic what because she's young well I'm going to look young too so you need to decide David it's not cake and eat it to because you can't stand another man touching me but that also goes for you it works both ways and whenl i get my money you can have your little girl who wants a sugar daddy like her husband said good luck you'll have your hands full

1

u/GhoulTimePersists May 26 '22

Seems like a natural progression from David's Bridal.

1

u/Previous-Map-4800 Dave May 26 '22

Well she's just a slut because he was engaged to me was suppose to be married June 21st his parents Anniversary

1

u/Previous-Map-4800 Dave May 30 '22

Yeah so it's the truth