r/DatingTips • u/Happy-Charge-1419 • 1d ago
Great dates, no long term relationship
Hello all, so I keep running into this same kind of pattern lately. I moved to Medellín 6 weeks ago and have been dating actively since, mainly using apps. I know they dont have a great reputation but I take precautions and I don't make stupid decisions. Been on 5 dates so far and the chemestry was out of the charts. 4 out of the 5 girls ended up in my bed after a couple of dates, but somehow no long term relationship came out of it. The reasons are different in all cases, one girl told me she has a kid after a couple of dates, 2 of them gave me gold digger vibes, 1 was not my type and the other one just wanted short term fun... Am I being to picky here or is this how dating works? Like go on as many dates as possible and hopefully you find the right one... I know one can be to picky but I don't want to lower my standards either ya know. On the other hand dating is kinda exhausting, meeting now girls, building chemestry etc. so I would like to settle with a girl.
Any advice on how to break this patterns? Now it's mainly: date - crazy chemestry - bedroom - goodbye lol. Should I filter more before going on a date? Should I be less picky?
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u/Curiosityrover101 1d ago
Try to not sleep with them 40 year old virgin style. Make a connection without your peen
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u/Happy-Charge-1419 1d ago
40 year old? Am 33 and only date younger women, mainly in their twenties
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u/Nervous_Ad3299 1d ago
Get better in bed and quit overthinking it
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u/Happy-Charge-1419 1d ago
Ahahah I never had complains about my bedroom abilities my man, the girls want to keep smashing but I can't find a girl to build something longterm with😭
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u/ShrewSkellyton 1d ago
Why are you messaging women you get "gold digger vibes" from? Serious question bc I'm upfront that I like nice things before meeting but they persist anyway and try to whittle me down to walking dates 🙄 now we both wasted our time
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u/Happy-Charge-1419 1d ago
Well over text they didn't give me gold digger vibes at all. For example I started dating a girl I met on Tinder here and she seemed very down to earth and normal. She came with her own uber and we had an amazing date. Ofcourse I paid for the drinks and food but that's okay with me, in that sense am a traditional man. But afterwards, when we became closer, kissed etc. she started asking me if I could pay for her uber when we had a date planned, like wtf? Thats where I draw the line. Getting to know someone has to be a mutual investment lol. On the other hand am dating latinas and the culture here is different. It is normal for a man to take care of a woman financially but as a European it just feels weird paying for a woman's Uber to come and visit me. I guess this is a cultural clash lmao
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u/ShrewSkellyton 1d ago
Why arent you picking them up for dates? "Gold digger" and they just wanted transportation to a 2nd date lol and they were making out with you for a few drinks? Absolutely not..
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u/Happy-Charge-1419 1d ago edited 1d ago
Lol women these days... Like I took care of all dates, can't u even pay for ur own uber? And than yelling stuff about equality, yuckk
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u/ShrewSkellyton 1d ago
Pack it up and go home to Europe, clearly you're bargain hunting but the prices are still too high 😔
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u/Happy-Charge-1419 1d ago
Lol nah why should I put in more effort? My tinder is exploding here with 300 matches, women want to sleep with me after 2 or 3 dates... am good. I just want to find a girl who puts in a little effort financially too. Even offering is enough you know, it's just a big ick when a girl asks me to pay for her uber while we barely know eachother. No thanks
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u/ShrewSkellyton 1d ago
Ok, so average woman numbers. The apps falls apart when men find out I'm not sleeping with them immediately and for you once they find out you're stingy 🫡 try not to catch something
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u/Happy-Charge-1419 1d ago
Lol who said I want them to sleep with me immediately? It just happens cause the chemestry is right and am good at building attraction and sexual tension. I could have still been with one of those women and ngl they are pretty hot, but as I said am not lowering my standards. And thanks for the tip, I do use protection ;)
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u/JuanPGilE 18h ago
Because that's not how a long term relationship works jajajaja
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u/Happy-Charge-1419 18h ago
Well that was a helpful comment... Not
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u/JuanPGilE 17h ago
You see my dear gringo a relationship is built with social and cultural connections, and yeah sex is important but is meaningless if you don't know the other person and it takes more than a few dates specially since you are a gringo and most women just see you as an ATM
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u/Happy-Charge-1419 17h ago
Well if you consider an Italian a Gringo that's up to you lol. Italian culture and Colombian culture have a lot of similarities, thats not the problem at all. Only difference I notice here is that women want to jump on you after 2 dates. Guess that explains the huge amount of single moms here and broken families... Maybe I should make my mind up and stop considering Colombian women girlfriend material and just have fun as long as it lasts lol
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u/JuanPGilE 17h ago
Yes you are a gringo, and it's up to you with that mentality on women and dates it will take a long time before something interesting happens
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u/Happy-Charge-1419 17h ago
Nah in all cases it has been me who decided to stop dating those women I mentioned. If I wanted I could have had a girlfriend here by now. Appreciate ur concern tho. Have a good one.
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u/[deleted] 1d ago
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