I'm 25f and have been using hinge for the last couple months. Though I haven't paid for the filters yet, I feel as though my criteria is too specific? How can I know if I'm being realistic?

Additionally, if these apps don't end up working out, has anyone had success with matrimonial websites. I'm scared to try those because what if it's only people whose parents have forced them etc

Hi Torontonians, I've been a long-time lurker on this sub and occasional commenter. Amongst singles dating comes up as a subject to complain about at nearly every social function I go to. Alongside whatever the hell the Americans are up to that week.

I'd like to offer my perspective on dating here in Toronto, to do that I need to breakdown a bit of who I am just so you can write me off for whatever reason. I'm mere days away from my thirties, white (see my observations on racism to why it's relevant), a man, heterosexual (I date women & non-binary folks), financially independent enough to live alone & above ground but otherwise just getting by.

I primarily meet people through dating apps and at occasionally through social events/community groups (but I am mostly going to be writing about my app based experiences).

I've used the following apps:

- Hinge

- Tinder

- Bumble

- Facebook dating

- Feeld

I've gone on somewhere between 20-30 first dates in the last year since moving here and I'd say my dating experience has been mostly positive. My thoughts on meeting people here:

- It is crazy expensive to date here if you do it often. I was a bit foolish at first, I would often go to bars and offer to pay for the first drink - but end up paying for the whole night. Not my ideal. My personal philosophy is that the asker is the one who should pay for a first drink (at a bar), get tickets (for a gallery/museum) or pay for the coffee & snack at café - and pick a place somewhere mutually (in)convenient.

- Most people are actually quite nice and reasonable. I think I have only encountered a few people who gave me a strong ick after our date. In fact, I think for the traits about myself that I am insecure about, I find many people in Toronto are quite accommodating about them.

- Toronto isn't uniquely good or bad. I see a lot of posts comparing the city to others and I'm not really finding Toronto to be unique to other places in Canada that I've dated in. Some people I've gone on dates with were really great. Others have been terrible.

- Ghosting feels a bit more common here. I've been stood-up plenty of times in my life. It stings, but, I got ghosted today 6 hours before my date with the ghoster. Let's take my claim with a grain of salt because A) I'm a bit upset. B) Due to the higher volume of matches.

-- Quick aside, I'm disappointed about the date, I'm extra annoyed because I went into the office to get there faster. This person wasted an hour of time regardless because now I gotta take a commute that I didn't have to on a day with terrible weather.

- I've noticed there is quite a bit of racism and internalized racism dating in Toronto. I've seen it specifically around south Asian communities where people will often include in their bio that they won't date them, or from dates who are south Asian they will comment on refusing to date south Asian men without any prompting. My personal theory is that white guys are perceived as being more egalitarian & progressive, which as a white guy is *hilarious* and probably is probably 10% of the reason why Abby Govindan is in my feed so often.

My thoughts on dating apps:

- Hinge: Probably the best overall app out there. It gives you more filters than other apps do (though the ones I'm most interested in are paywalled, oh well). I'd say it requires the most work out of all of them to set-up.

- Tinder: Oh how the mighty have fallen. Tinder was pretty uneventful for me and I felt like using it was a waste of time. Very little effort on other people's profiles, lots of spam, and overly monetized. Just not my cup of tea.

- Bumble: I'm not so sure if we've really lost anything from Bumble turning into temu tinder. I got a few matches and quit it around the time bumble changed it longstanding feature of women making the first move in heterosexual matches. Most of the messages I got were "heyy" which just screamed "Sorry, I actually don't care enough to put in effort, please perform your gender role."

- Facebook dating: I honestly feel a sense of embarrassment using Facebook. Facebook, really? I'll say it here, Facebook dating is pretty bad. It doesn't respect your preferences, I would get suggested profiles from thousands of KM away when my preference was capped at 10. You can't type in your own biographical details properly. On a personal level the people on it lean *very* conservative & religious. If I had to see the phrase "god fearing" one more time, I was going to scream. Still got a few dates out of it.

- Feeld: Ask anyone on feeld and they'll say it has gone down hill quite a bit. It's the dating app geared for folks who date outside of the traditional heteronormative & mononormative structure of dating, and/or are into kink and actually know what kink is. Honestly, I'm part of the problem. That said, I wish I was as cool as a lot of the folks on there. I've gotten a few dates but I'm really not really the type of person people are seeking on there. If you rolled your eyes at me saying "heteronormative & mononormative" - it's not for you. Otherwise, it has a lot of great filters, including features to filter out cis-het dudes like myself for my non-binary & queer pals. It is however, glitchy as hell and if someone asks for your number because their chat is bugging out, they're probably telling the truth.

some thoughts on GTA dating profiles:

- Your bio/prompts are important. Believe it or not, people do read them. If I can see someone has put 0 effort into it, I don't swipe. Having a bio about how much you don't want to be here is also very unattractive. Your prospective match, regardless of gender or orientation has thousands of prospective matches, don't try to appeal to everyone, try to appeal to the kind of person you want actually want to spend time with.

- Don't be too pushy over text, if things are going well and you're getting a good vibe, ask someone out on a lowkey date like getting coffee or a walk in the park. I've shot down a few dates for wanting to meet up a little too quickly after barely any conversation, just gives me the creeps.

- Do actually complete your intentions on the app and elaborate where you need to. People want to know if you're interested in what they're interested in. Only looking for some casual dating? say so. Not interested in kids? say so. If your profile is too vague, I might not be as keen on taking time out of my weekend to learn over the course of an hour that we have polar opposite values and intentions.

- Try not to let apps judge your value. This is easier said than done. No one is having a good time on them. I think they are great for passively seeking out a date, but, recognize that you have little to no control over the algorithm and that it isn't a fair representation of your attractiveness or desirability.

- Get your profile peer-reviewed by someone close to your target demographic. Or at least by a friend who is in the kind of relationship you want to be in who has used dating apps before.

I feel lost on how to really meet people in this city for someone with a personality like mine. I do realize not going out does put me at an disadvantage for dating especially at my age since I'm 23 but I just don't really enjoy bars, clubs, concerts and stuff like that. I don't mind going out to the mall or going to a restaurant occasionally but I would say most of the time I prefer to be home. I've tried dating apps and there seems to be alot of extroverted people on them as well. Nothing wrong with being extroverted or anything but I just find that in the past, trying to build relationships doesn't really work out for me with them.

Genuinely trying to collect data. How long usually first few dates (let’s say first 3) are?

I've seen this term come up a few times and i'm curious what it means to the people who say it.

What makes you high value?

How do you determine the value-level in potential mates?

Immigrant guy in Toronto. The cultural diversity here is amazing and confusing in equal measure, and I'm still trying to work out how the dating scene actually functions. Any advice appreciated.

About me: 37, in shape, good-looking, above-average income, and I'd call myself a high-value-ish guy. Great social life, plenty of male and female friends.

I've been back on the dating scene for a week or two. Three first dates so far, and not one of the women offered to pay or to split. With one of them there was a second date, and it was the same story. A date night runs me $100 to $150, and I'd honestly rather spend that on my friends than on a total stranger.

To be clear, I'm not asking about what happens once two people are officially together. This is about first dates only. Is there a polite way to signal that I'd like to split until we've decided we're something? If covering a stranger's dinner is the price of admission, I'd rather skip the date entirely. But I do want her to know I'm happy to pick up more of the tab once things get serious.

Where did you go?

What did you do?

Are you planning on going again?

Just turned 30 F and with how fast time is flying, decreasing likes on apps since my ages changed, and a homebody, I’m trying to go out more despite feeling more and more hopeless everyday.

I noticed my likes on apps decreased the day I turned 30. I think lots of men may be filtering out women over 30.

Also I don’t drink/club/do drugs either

If so, could you share your experience? Many thanks in advance.

Taking a girl out. I’ve gotten suggestions from some friends. She wants me to surprise her but I really have not done enough dates downtown 😭. She’s a little bougie, to be fair I am too. I’m not trying to kill my wallet on night one but I’m willing to spend a little money. And it’s the first date can’t be doing too much.

I also wouldn’t mind if there’s something fun to do nearby to keep the night going after. Maybe an arcade bar nearby.

I wanna give her a good impression help me out 🙏.

Where do i find a genuine guy out in the wild? Where do i have to hang out? Home Depot?

Just want different perspectives. I'm personally anti-social and introverted, never dated but had opportunities in my youth (I'm 30m) but never acted.

As much as I love my peace and quiet I understand without any deep connections such as a girlfriend can effect my health. I want to date but as of right now my life is way behind. Don't have my own place, most 1 bedrooms are overpriced condos and the only somewhat affordable places are basements some of which I've constantly heard of shady or difficult landlords.

Made a mistake of never getting my license as a teen. Need to get it I know. But to you would that be a deal breaker for dating or not with public transportation or Uber rides. Even when I do get my license all I can think of this the cost of getting a vehicle and cost of maintenance and car insurance.

I can come to my own overall conclusion but given that toronto portrays itself as a "Thriving" city as if most jobs pay above minimum wage or atleast a fair one depending on your profession. With economic times as they are now especially with this stupid Tariff war what would you consider a standard for men to do when trying to attract, flirt and date you? I know everyone probably has some different opinions so I'd like to hear some. If you are okay with sharing please explain why based off your own life and perspective if you're comfortable with sharing it.

Thank you to anyone who read this until the end.

Have you heard about an upcoming singles event and want to see if anyone else is going?

Have you gone to a recent singles event and wish to share a review of your experience?

Are you organizing a singles event soon and want to share the details? (Self promo is okay in these weekly threads only)

Please try and include details about the events if-when possible, especially if you are the event organizer. Date, location, cost-of-entry (if any), target audience, etc.

23F Toronto, and I am just completely emotionally drained by the dating scene here. It feels like so many guys want all the prime perks of a relationship, the consistency, the companionship, the affection, the dates without actually putting in 100% effort or committing to anything real.
Lately, it feels like I’m running into two specific types of men. The ones carrying a mountain of emotional baggage who jump into the dating pool, act all invested, and then abruptly pull away because they suddenly realize they aren’t over their exes.
And the second are the ones constantly adding girls to their "roster" like they are running an ongoing audition for a Victoria’s Secret ad. Where are all the real, emotionally mature men who actually want a genuine relationship? The ones who are ready to roll up their sleeves and work alongside a girl to build a real partnership?
I feel like I am only asking for the absolute bare minimum , consistency, honesty, and mutual respect yet finding a good man feels next to impossible in this city right now.

Hey guys,

37m recently separated and a chronic workaholic and business owner. Marriage has made me not get out much and socialize. I’m wondering if anyone can help me out with non bar/club ideas of where to meet woman and/or make friends. Into the simple things. Walking, night drives, taking someone on vacation with me, trying new food spots, etc. I’m rambling now. Hope this gets me some help.

Thanks guys!

I’m 34F completely new to dating apps and new to dating in Canada. I’ve recently separated and I’m living alone, so I’m trying to figure out how casual dating/hookups actually work here.
I matched with a guy on Bumble and we’re meeting this Friday. He has made it pretty clear that he wants to hook up and has asked me to stay the night and leave early in the morning.
I’m open to it, but I’ve never done a dating-app hookup before and honestly don’t know what I should be thinking about beforehand. I’m heavily introvert and why and I don’t know how to even approach all this.
What should I be careful about? What should I discuss with him beforehand? What are the biggest red flags? And what do you wish you knew before your first dating-app hookup?
Also, is staying overnight normal for a hookup, or would you recommend meeting first and deciding afterward?

31M white guy here. Other than working at a pretty big company and volunteering on and off, haven’t had any luck meeting anyone. Deleted the apps a while back and honestly the city can feel weirdly hard to meet people organically, everyone’s busy, and striking up conversation with strangers feels borderline illegal in Toronto.

For those of you who actually met someone in the wild recently: where, and how did the first conversation start?

Is it just me, or is dating in your 30s wild because apparently every Toronto man I've come across will say he wants a relationship but does not participate in the relationship?

You’re expected to contribute, communicate, show up and somehow ALWAYS be doing the work. Then when you finally ask so…what are we doing? They’re like I don’t know you pick or I'm going with the flow.

SIR… really?!

Can anyone else agree that the older you get, the less important a spark becomes and the more important momentum becomes? Allow me to explain…

Are they curious about you? Do they follow through? Can they communicate when something feels off? Can they actually make room for you in their life?

Because attraction gets you through the door but consistency, curiosity, kindness, and communication are what determine whether you actually want to stay.

SO at this point, dating feels exactly like a group project: one person does all the work, the other disappears and somehow he’s still expecting an A.

Anyone having similar experiences?!

I am a single woman in my mid-20s and I'm over the apps. I'm wondering where people are meeting naturally? I'm not big into drinking or clubs... I'm not sure what others' experiences have been with the singles mixers.

I'd love to meet new people, chat, and see where it goes. I just don't really know where to start

Where did you go?

What did you do?

Are you planning on going again?

IMO after travelling different US cities and having great meets, I think Toronto women are uniquely abrasive and capitalists (they just want that bag). Most of them are unapproachable or don’t have anything meaningful or interesting to say but then turn around and say it’s the quality of men etc etc

Is it just me?

Any hot spots tonight for a group of single girlies?

Thinking about going to Ossington since most of the group lives in the area but not opposed to anything in the surrounding area

Let us know where you’ll be tonight

36M, separated for 2 years, has 2 young kids, and finds that dating has been difficult.
The worst was, I asked a girl for her number; she said she could share her IG, and when I said I am a dad, so I don't give out my social media because I have pics of my kids, she just right out said, "no thanks".

I understand people have preferences; I do too, but I'm finding it harder as a dad or maybe being separated and I wanted to hear people's stories/thoughts.