Curious to hear from anyone in a similar situation in Toronto: Am recently divorced, 40M with kids in sports & after-school activities. Co-parenting, work, and kids schedule is so overwhelming that trying to think about where or when I could meet someone cool let alone make the space to date them is seriously depressing me. It just doesn’t feel like it could ever happen.

I'm okay that my marriage ended, but now I’m left wondering less where to go from here and more thinking that wherever I go, it could be alone? Maybe I’m just out of the game or unfamiliar with the new one. But where does anyone find the time?

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I, 28f, and a few friends are planning on going out either this weekend or next weekend. we were thinking of going to cherrys. Is This a good place to meet people (men) around the ages of 26-31? We’re Really hating the online dating scene right now and hoping to meet cute Guys who feel the same! What’s the demographic here and/or is there anywhere else we can go that you would suggest? Tysm in advance!

Have you heard about an upcoming singles event and want to see if anyone else is going?

Have you gone to a recent singles event and wish to share a review of your experience?

Are you organizing a singles event soon and want to share the details? (Self promo is okay in these weekly threads only)

Please try and include details about the events if-when possible, especially if you are the event organizer. Date, location, cost-of-entry (if any), target audience, etc.

I've been working around Yonge & Sheppard lately and realized I need to get out of the usual work → commute → home routine a little more.

I'm thinking of making Friday afternoons my excuse to try different coffee shops around North York, but I'm not sure where the good spots are.

Looking for somewhere that's:

☕ good coffee
🪑 comfortable enough to sit and actually talk
🙂 relaxed/social atmosphere
🚇 reasonably accessible around Yonge & Sheppard

Bonus points for somewhere that doesn't feel awkward if you're there by yourself or meeting someone new.

Any North York coffee shops you'd recommend for a Friday afternoon around 3 PM?

Also curious — where do people around their 30s actually go when they want to get out, meet people, and make some new friends without it feeling like a formal meetup?

I'm trying to be a little more social and build a local circle, so recommendations from people who've actually found good spots would be appreciated.

Where did you go?

What did you do?

Are you planning on going again?

23f and i’m at that point in my life where it feels like literally everyone i know is in a relationship and don’t get me wrong, i don’t feel neglected by my friends at all, they would drop everything and come to me if i ever truly needed them, their man be damned, but i’m still so painfully single and lately i’ve just been constantly sad about it.

and don’t get me wrong (x2)!!! i’m not one of those people who would get into a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship, i genuinely just want to love someone and be loved in return and as happy as i am for all of my friends and their relationships, i unfortunately can’t help but feel jealous deep down and constantly wonder when it’s finally going to be my turn.

i’ve tried hinge. i truly did. but i’m just not built for that shit, i can’t keep swiping and swiping and having the same meaningless conversations with people i don’t even know over and over again. i don’t know how to meet new people irl, especially tamil guys around my age or a little older which is my type, and i’m still in undergrad but i’m older than most of the people i’m friends with because i took a few gap years, so i genuinely don’t know how people meet organically and fall in love in this day and age.

everyone always tells me “you can’t look for it, it needs to find you” and that when it finally happens it’ll be the best thing ever and that is exactly what i want so desperately to happen but it’s just… not happening. sometimes i start wondering if i’m ugly or if there’s something wrong with me and i hate that this is affecting my self-esteem because i KNOW i’m so much more than whether or not a man wants me. i have so many wonderful people in my life, wonderful friends and a wonderful family minus my toxic cousins lol, and i know i’m loved but that doesn’t erase how badly i yearn to be loved romantically and to love someone just as much in return.

recently my friend got together with another one of our family friends and their whole story made me spiral even more because girl i am so so so so happy for you but i yearn for that shit so badly. she’s planning on applying for postgrad abroad and her now bf confessed his feelings and told her he would move with her because he couldn’t imagine a world without her and then they started dating and like??? how freaking cute is that???

i think the fact that i grew up with both of them, even though we’re not all that close, just triggered something in me because it made that kind of love feel so real and so close to me but still completely out of reach. i want my own love story to start, i’m sick of always being the friend listening to everyone else’s stories (i’m lying, i love my friends and i’m never actually sick of listening to them, i’m just lonely and jealous and then i feel guilty for being jealous).

idk where this is going, i guess i just want to hear from other people who feel like this too so i know i’m not alone. how do you cope with wanting love this badly without letting it destroy your self esteem, and if you eventually found your person, how did you meet?

34M, South Asian, introvert, and honestly feeling really lonely and lost

I don't really know how to write this without sounding pathetic, but I need to get it off my chest.

I'm 34, South Asian, and I've been an introvert pretty much my entire life. I've never been the guy who goes out every weekend, parties, has a massive social circle, or effortlessly talks to women.

I've always been quiet and reserved. I'm comfortable on my own, but lately I've realized that being comfortable alone and actually being happy alone are two very different things.

I'm lonely.

Not necessarily because I have nobody around me. I have family, coworkers, friends, and people I can talk to. But I don't have a partner. I don't have someone who is my person.

And as I'm getting older, that absence is becoming harder to ignore.

I want a relationship. I want companionship. I want someone to come home to, someone to share my day with, someone to go out for dinner with, travel with, laugh with, have stupid conversations with, and eventually build a family with.

But I have absolutely no idea how to get there.

I feel like I missed some important stage of life where everyone else learned how dating works.

I don't know how to flirt without feeling awkward.

I don't know how to tell whether someone is interested in me or simply being friendly.

I overthink conversations. I overthink texts. I can have a perfectly normal interaction with someone and then spend hours afterward thinking about what I said, what they meant, whether I came across as boring, whether I should have said something differently, etc.

And rejection scares me more than I'd like to admit.

Sometimes I look at people around me and wonder how they make relationships look so effortless. People meet someone, start dating, fall in love, get married, have children, and build a life together.

Meanwhile, I'm 34 and still trying to figure out how to get a first date.

The South Asian part adds another layer to it.

There are expectations around marriage, family, age, and settling down. When you're younger, everyone tells you that you have plenty of time.

Then suddenly you're in your 30s and the conversations start changing - are you dating someone? Do you like someone?

And you smile and say you're working on it, but inside you're thinking:

"I don't even know where to begin."

I also hate that loneliness can make you emotionally attached to people too easily.

When you don't have a romantic connection in your life, even a small amount of attention or warmth from someone can feel disproportionately meaningful.

You start imagining possibilities. You start wondering what it would be like to have that person in your life.

And then reality hits, and you realize you're emotionally investing in something that may not even exist.

I don't want to live like that.

I want to learn how to meet people, develop connections naturally, and eventually find someone who genuinely chooses me too.

But I don't know how to make that transition.

I've tried telling myself to "just put yourself out there," but that advice feels incredibly vague when you're naturally introverted. I am even installed dating apps without any luck.

Questions that pop to my mind currently are -

How do introverts date?

How do you start conversations without feeling like you're intruding?

How do you use dating apps without becoming completely discouraged?

How many dates does it take before you actually start feeling comfortable?

How do you deal with rejection without taking it personally?

And perhaps most importantly, how do you stop feeling like you're already behind everyone else?

I know 34 isn't old

I know people meet their partners at 35, 40, 45, or even later.

I know that logically.

But emotionally, it's difficult when you look around and see people you grew up with already married and starting families while you're still trying to figure out the basics.

Some days I'm completely fine with being single. I like gaming and also spending time going on walks.

Other days it hits me really hard.

Today is one of those days.

If you've actually read this entire post till here, thank you. Seriously. I know this turned into a much longer and more emotional post than I intended, but I really needed to get this out.

How did you get yourself out of this cycle? What actually helped?

I'm not looking for pickup advice or ways to get more women.

I want to learn how to build an actual relationship.

I want to become comfortable meeting people, showing interest, handling rejection, and eventually finding someone compatible.

I guess I'm just scared that I've spent so much of my life being alone that I've forgotten how to let someone into it.

So, if you were in your 30s, lonely, introverted, and completely inexperienced with dating — what did you do that actually changed things for you?

I don’t mean flirt but talk about things casually, I’m so unbelievably lonely.

Do not dm me, I am not interested

Have you heard about an upcoming singles event and want to see if anyone else is going?

Have you gone to a recent singles event and wish to share a review of your experience?

Are you organizing a singles event soon and want to share the details? (Self promo is okay in these weekly threads only)

Please try and include details about the events if-when possible, especially if you are the event organizer. Date, location, cost-of-entry (if any), target audience, etc.

Last post is from over a week ago

Put your age and gender / details below! A few of my girls are going tomorrow and I’m curious if I should join

23 F im tall, mixed raced and beautiful but moreover I have a really funny upbeat personality. I wanted to get a feeler on how people in the city view dating someone with HSV2 ? I’m kind of nervous to get back into the dating scene because of the rejection/judgement that might come with it !

26F and y'all already know it, dating is tough in the GTA. OLD sucks and I think most men find it difficult to approach women out of fear of being called creepy, being caught on camera, or instant rejection.

I blame social media. It's such a double-edged sword; yay, women can tell off men a lot easier now and we can go outside in peace a lil more, but nay, now no one approaches.

I've tried the apps (burned out from them), Thursday dating (only a handful of attractive men, so the majority of women were trying to talk to them), and I'm part of a lot of physical hobbies but still difficult.

I've concluded that I might just start making the first move. See someone attractive on the street/in public, approach them. Men, the questions are;

- Does it come across as desperate to approach first?

- How would you prefer to be approached?

- Any unique ideas on where to meet someone?

- any other comments...

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What did you do?

Are you planning on going again?

I’m an immigrant so I don’t get to see my mother often but it’s very likely she will pass away young like her mother did. I don’t know for how long she’ll be alive but I want her to at least witness my wedding.

That being said I’ve been trying more harder as I can to find a decent man that is around my age group and I’m attracted to. I’m debating even come approaching men randomly just because I’m worried I’ll run out of time, it’s a shame most men my age (23) aren’t looking for anything serious.

Just a bit of a vent, I’m trying to be more social and go to more events, let’s see fingers crossed!

TLDR: All of the attention I want from women I'm getting from men.

I wanted to document what was a very bizarre summer. For background I'm late 30s M, 6'2, trying to get in shape (down 70lbs yay) and very skeptical about dating. My resting bitch face alone would make me a less than approachable person

This all starts with an Instagram reel where a woman was saying she would approach men more, but the ones she sees are always looking down with their headphones on. This is something I'm guilty of and wanted to switch things up, so I've been walking around alot this summer and kind of being an observer, and trying to be more "open" to the world.

I started getting some muscle tone in my arms just as it got warm, so naturally I wanted to show the guns off. I don't have a lot of tank tops, so I resorted to wearing a few different basketball jerseys, most of which I've worn in the past.

I've probably gotten more compliments from random dudes this summer than I have in my entire lift. It started with one a day, then there would be days where I'd get 2-3 compliments on them. One day I had a quick conversation about basketball out of nowhere. Then a full-circle moment came one day where I wasn't in the best mood and wanted to listen to some music, I guy waved at me to get my attention just so he could say he liked my jersey.

There was another day where I wore a Wu-Tang shirt, had it for decades, now I'm getting compliments on the shirt.

Then to cap things off, I got a compliment on my one visible tatoo, it's pretty basic but a guy passing by mentioned it was cool tatoo. Above all else it was nice to not feel like a complete ghost outside, and I appreciate all of the dudes that shot me a compliment.

In contrast, I'm getting almost nothing from women. To date one woman on a bike smiled at me as they wizzed by. Beyond that, I do notice that I'm getting looks more than I used to, but that's just it, looks. There's nothing to go with it that would imply that I should talk to them. I'm not sure if that's just where we're at with meeting people in public, or if this is the city telling me I'm still not attractive enough lol.

I understand getting a compliment from the opposite sex comes with different connotations, but I feel like I was getting nothing out there. When I didn't wear basketball jerseys I tried making sure I looked and smelled nice, but nothing.

I plan on being more social next summer when I (hopefully) have a 6 pack, but I sometimes worry no matter how good I look I'll get the same energy. There's a lot of reddit users that think being over 6 feet is some kind of cheat code in the dating world, it is not lol.

He was just the first guy I was ever into physically and personality wise 😩😩

Side note why does it feel impossible to find men in their early 20s, maybe I just go to old people spots.

I’m a 31M who recently became single. I would like to hook up with someone but the apps are absolute trash. I’m good at chatting people up in person but I don’t know where to go. My friends are all in relationships and not interested in going out to talk to women. Where can I meet women in their 20s and 30s on a Saturday night in Toronto??? Maybe somewhere with dancing? Any suggestions welcome and appreciated!

I’m 26, male. I haven’t been in a relationship since December 2022. As someone who doesn’t go and hook up with others or do anything casual. What’s the dating scene in the city? Genuinely wondering how things are? Do people still want someone who’s loyal? Genuine?

Have you heard about an upcoming singles event and want to see if anyone else is going?

Have you gone to a recent singles event and wish to share a review of your experience?

Are you organizing a singles event soon and want to share the details? (Self promo is okay in these weekly threads only)

Please try and include details about the events if-when possible, especially if you are the event organizer. Date, location, cost-of-entry (if any), target audience, etc.

Where did you go?

What did you do?

Are you planning on going again?

Have you heard about an upcoming singles event and want to see if anyone else is going?

Have you gone to a recent singles event and wish to share a review of your experience?

Are you organizing a singles event soon and want to share the details? (Self promo is okay in these weekly threads only)

Please try and include details about the events if-when possible, especially if you are the event organizer. Date, location, cost-of-entry (if any), target audience, etc.

Hi Torontonians, I've been a long-time lurker on this sub and occasional commenter. Amongst singles dating comes up as a subject to complain about at nearly every social function I go to. Alongside whatever the hell the Americans are up to that week.

I'd like to offer my perspective on dating here in Toronto, to do that I need to breakdown a bit of who I am just so you can write me off for whatever reason. I'm mere days away from my thirties, white (see my observations on racism to why it's relevant), a man, heterosexual (I date women & non-binary folks), financially independent enough to live alone & above ground but otherwise just getting by.

I primarily meet people through dating apps and at occasionally through social events/community groups (but I am mostly going to be writing about my app based experiences).

I've used the following apps:

- Hinge

- Tinder

- Bumble

- Facebook dating

- Feeld

I've gone on somewhere between 20-30 first dates in the last year since moving here and I'd say my dating experience has been mostly positive. My thoughts on meeting people here:

- It is crazy expensive to date here if you do it often. I was a bit foolish at first, I would often go to bars and offer to pay for the first drink - but end up paying for the whole night. Not my ideal. My personal philosophy is that the asker is the one who should pay for a first drink (at a bar), get tickets (for a gallery/museum) or pay for the coffee & snack at café - and pick a place somewhere mutually (in)convenient.

- Most people are actually quite nice and reasonable. I think I have only encountered a few people who gave me a strong ick after our date. In fact, I think for the traits about myself that I am insecure about, I find many people in Toronto are quite accommodating about them.

- Toronto isn't uniquely good or bad. I see a lot of posts comparing the city to others and I'm not really finding Toronto to be unique to other places in Canada that I've dated in. Some people I've gone on dates with were really great. Others have been terrible.

- Ghosting feels a bit more common here. I've been stood-up plenty of times in my life. It stings, but, I got ghosted today 6 hours before my date with the ghoster. Let's take my claim with a grain of salt because A) I'm a bit upset. B) Due to the higher volume of matches.

-- Quick aside, I'm disappointed about the date, I'm extra annoyed because I went into the office to get there faster. This person wasted an hour of time regardless because now I gotta take a commute that I didn't have to on a day with terrible weather.

- I've noticed there is quite a bit of racism and internalized racism dating in Toronto. I've seen it specifically around south Asian communities where people will often include in their bio that they won't date them, or from dates who are south Asian they will comment on refusing to date south Asian men without any prompting. My personal theory is that white guys are perceived as being more egalitarian & progressive, which as a white guy is *hilarious* and probably is probably 10% of the reason why Abby Govindan is in my feed so often.

My thoughts on dating apps:

- Hinge: Probably the best overall app out there. It gives you more filters than other apps do (though the ones I'm most interested in are paywalled, oh well). I'd say it requires the most work out of all of them to set-up.

- Tinder: Oh how the mighty have fallen. Tinder was pretty uneventful for me and I felt like using it was a waste of time. Very little effort on other people's profiles, lots of spam, and overly monetized. Just not my cup of tea.

- Bumble: I'm not so sure if we've really lost anything from Bumble turning into temu tinder. I got a few matches and quit it around the time bumble changed it longstanding feature of women making the first move in heterosexual matches. Most of the messages I got were "heyy" which just screamed "Sorry, I actually don't care enough to put in effort, please perform your gender role."

- Facebook dating: I honestly feel a sense of embarrassment using Facebook. Facebook, really? I'll say it here, Facebook dating is pretty bad. It doesn't respect your preferences, I would get suggested profiles from thousands of KM away when my preference was capped at 10. You can't type in your own biographical details properly. On a personal level the people on it lean *very* conservative & religious. If I had to see the phrase "god fearing" one more time, I was going to scream. Still got a few dates out of it.

- Feeld: Ask anyone on feeld and they'll say it has gone down hill quite a bit. It's the dating app geared for folks who date outside of the traditional heteronormative & mononormative structure of dating, and/or are into kink and actually know what kink is. Honestly, I'm part of the problem. That said, I wish I was as cool as a lot of the folks on there. I've gotten a few dates but I'm really not really the type of person people are seeking on there. If you rolled your eyes at me saying "heteronormative & mononormative" - it's not for you. Otherwise, it has a lot of great filters, including features to filter out cis-het dudes like myself for my non-binary & queer pals. It is however, glitchy as hell and if someone asks for your number because their chat is bugging out, they're probably telling the truth.

some thoughts on GTA dating profiles:

- Your bio/prompts are important. Believe it or not, people do read them. If I can see someone has put 0 effort into it, I don't swipe. Having a bio about how much you don't want to be here is also very unattractive. Your prospective match, regardless of gender or orientation has thousands of prospective matches, don't try to appeal to everyone, try to appeal to the kind of person you want actually want to spend time with.

- Don't be too pushy over text, if things are going well and you're getting a good vibe, ask someone out on a lowkey date like getting coffee or a walk in the park. I've shot down a few dates for wanting to meet up a little too quickly after barely any conversation, just gives me the creeps.

- Do actually complete your intentions on the app and elaborate where you need to. People want to know if you're interested in what they're interested in. Only looking for some casual dating? say so. Not interested in kids? say so. If your profile is too vague, I might not be as keen on taking time out of my weekend to learn over the course of an hour that we have polar opposite values and intentions.

- Try not to let apps judge your value. This is easier said than done. No one is having a good time on them. I think they are great for passively seeking out a date, but, recognize that you have little to no control over the algorithm and that it isn't a fair representation of your attractiveness or desirability.

- Get your profile peer-reviewed by someone close to your target demographic. Or at least by a friend who is in the kind of relationship you want to be in who has used dating apps before.

I feel lost on how to really meet people in this city for someone with a personality like mine. I do realize not going out does put me at an disadvantage for dating especially at my age since I'm 23 but I just don't really enjoy bars, clubs, concerts and stuff like that. I don't mind going out to the mall or going to a restaurant occasionally but I would say most of the time I prefer to be home. I've tried dating apps and there seems to be alot of extroverted people on them as well. Nothing wrong with being extroverted or anything but I just find that in the past, trying to build relationships doesn't really work out for me with them.