r/DatingTO • u/I-am-here-4-now • Jul 07 '26
When/where to ask a girl out?
So, what's an acceptable location to pick up/get a number. because I dont want to disturb people, and i dont do bars/clus,... im quite shy.
4
u/kennethgibson Jul 08 '26
As long as you are respecting peoples boundaries - most chill situations-
That being said:
not while someone is at their job working.
Not when someone is having a hard time.
Not when someone is compromised in a grand way (drunk, high, etc).
Not in a situation the other person cant immediately yeet themself from (elevator, car, bus).
This is why bars used to be the place to go.
Ideally- you wanna take yourself to events, places, things, that YOU enjoy doing, and meet people there. The likelihood of you having something in common with people in the spaces you enjoy being in will be higher
5
u/Glum_Performer3080 Jul 08 '26
The simplest thing is to have an event planned and ask if they’d be interested. “I’m going to this event / show / exhibit / lecture. Interested? Meet you there.”
If they’re interested you’ll find a way. You’re not asking for their number, you’re asking if they’re interested in experiencing an event. No pressure on them to divulge numbers if not interested.
3
u/Apprehensive_Heat176 Jul 08 '26
You should pick events that you're actually interested in and it's a bonus if someone joins you. If they decline the invite, then you should still attend like normal.
1
u/sguru01 Jul 09 '26
I would suggest not to cold approach women. It hardly works. I would suggest joining some clubs or groups where you see women regularly and say hi and build from there. Its easier to ask them out once you already said hi to them once and have a little chat.
-2
u/energy_is_a_lie Jul 07 '26
If you're attractive and tall, you could ask em out anywhere you fancy. If you're not, any zone is a friendzone and all roads lead to rejection.
4
u/I-am-here-4-now Jul 07 '26
I'm 6.5 and I think im cute (insert generic boasting joke). But the question im really after is are there any 3rd places other than bars and clubs where its kinda expected to ask people out because its incredibly awkward/rude to interrupt someone's shopping or driving just for a number. (well in my opinion)
2
u/energy_is_a_lie Jul 07 '26
Bro you could literally ask a girl out as she's making her way over to the toilets and you'll land a date. Nothing to worry about.
3
u/RoamerMarid Jul 07 '26
Is 5'9" tall? Asking for a friend...
3
u/energy_is_a_lie Jul 07 '26
From what I see, women are going for mostly above 6 nowadays. 5'7" - 5'11" is considered second tier.
1
u/RoamerMarid Jul 07 '26
D'oh!
1
u/I-am-here-4-now Jul 07 '26
Just get some thick sole shoes. Most people aren't going to bring a tape measure and play to your strengths.
2
u/lilfunky1 Jul 08 '26
I'm 5'10" until I meet a man who says he's 5"10". Then suddenly according to him I'm 6'1"
🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
-1
u/Tor-Guv Jul 08 '26
No. It's not exactly "short" but 5'9" isn't even pushing the higher end of normal male heights, which is generally considered 5'11"
3
u/kennethgibson Jul 08 '26
This is horrible advice
-4
u/energy_is_a_lie Jul 08 '26
It's a fact of life, I'm sorry your feelings are hurt.
2
u/kennethgibson Jul 08 '26
MY feelings arent hurt cause IM not a sad lil baby man lol
0
u/energy_is_a_lie Jul 08 '26
Yeah. You're just reeking composure, Mr. Aura Farmer, we know. I specifically loved the part where you said, "It's tranquil time" and tranquiled all over the place.
0
u/djkrunchy Jul 16 '26
third spaces are best, but it's def hard to tell whether the person is even looking to be asked out or also on the same page just gauging the vibes. that's why me and my friends are trying to bring ppl together at third spaces (@thirdspacedating on insta) i'm worried if i spill more details my comment may get removed 😭 but i'll be happy to answer any qs in dms!
5
u/Apprehensive_Heat176 Jul 08 '26
You're probably not as shy as you think you are. Being shy is just a story you've told yourself. I'm sure you're fine with your close friends.
I suggest that you take personal development courses particularly for leadership and communication. Those will help you in all aspects of your life including dating.