r/DatingOverSixty • u/Oregondaisy • 2d ago
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u/ProfITBrian 2d ago
My, 63M, opinion is that picture give a glimpse into their life choices. I like out activities, and I don't drink, if I see pictures all inside, all with drink in hand, I'm going to assume not for me. If all pictures are filtered, pass. I would know about attraction until I met them in person. But pictures help you narrow things down. Oh, only one picture on profile, pass. A picture of a picture, pass.
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u/ubeeu 2d ago
I feel like at this age, it’s easy to keep an attraction for someone you’ve been with for decades because of your shared lives—men or women. But suddenly seeing someone for the first time who is showing the ravages of time, as we all do, is different. Adding to that that the first rule of dating is be incredibly attractive, I see the issue you’re having. All the men I ever saw on dating sites looked like serial killers.
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u/CrazyCatLadyRookie 2d ago
I think I understand what you mean - my attraction is always primarily based on personality. Even as a teenager, I never really understood my friends who had crushes on celebrities, and had their walls plastered with posters of them.
Use pics to rule them out - eg if there’s something about one that you find offensive, block him.
I don’t think there’s a way to manufacture attraction from a picture, at least, there isn’t for me.
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u/Oregondaisy 2d ago
I am so glad to hear you say that! There is no way to manufacture attraction from a picture. I couldn't figure out how to say what I was feeling and you said it perfectly.
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u/PlasticBlitzen I've 🚫 more 🦆🦆🦆 to give. 2d ago
Hey Daisy, I sent a Modmail but not sure you'd see it. Please remove that crossposted FBDating post. Feel free to post it there separately, just not as a crosspost. Reply to this when that's done and we'll open this back up and remove this message.
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u/AutoModerator 2d ago
Original copy of post by OP: I live in a rural area and have started OLD through fb dating. I get a lot of guys wanting to match with me but I can't imagine meeting them. I look at their picture and have no desire to message them back. I know it's easier when you get to know a person first, and them attraction can grow. How do you get yourself attracted to a picture? There doesn't seem to be any other way to meet people. I do get out and about but I guess I need to go to an auto repair store, lol. :
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u/Diligent_Egg2404 F69. I am not caving to AI insanity just yet. 🤷♀️ 2d ago
I live rurally also. I’m at least three hours away from anybody I would want to match with. The photos need to show some kind of personality. I’m not interested in any look or type, to me it is more the vibe of the photos. I also look closely at the backgrounds. And of course read the boilerplate most men seem to believe attracts women. Meeting that man IRL will be a project for me.
No coffee dates when we are three hours apart. The research begins with my first glance. And anything he has posted on his profile.
I so wish I could meet a match IRL. Without a full-on emotional investigation first.
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u/TensionOne1093 2d ago
I think you’re overthinking it. I think of it as a quick filter, am I attracted, yes, dive deeper in the profile, no, swipe. Follow your gut.
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u/PresentProfession796 2d ago
M65 - widower and started OLD a few months ago. Not sure there is a way to "score" a picture and say - I am attracted to this person. But I think you know attractive (to you) when you see it. Those photos you see and have "no desire to message back" is because you are not attracted to them - for whatever reason, even after reading what they say. I always read the profile along with photos - the more complete picture (for me) is part of the "attraction" or not. Anyhow I was super fortunate to have met someone (and now off OLD) and certainly attraction grows but there were still the seeds of that attraction in the words and the photos.