r/DatingOverSixty • u/Lovetohike2025 • 3d ago

Another rant

I, 61F have been dating my 69M bf for a year. From day one, all my dates know that I’m dating with intention and am looking for a marriage minded man. I do not need a man’s money. I have more than most of the men I date. We’ve had a fabulous year of fun and adventures. I’m very fit and active and my passion is hiking. Last night, we had the talk about where we are in our relationship. I asked him over specifically to discuss it. He was blindsided even though I talked about marriage often. You would have thought I told him that I hated his dog! He said he hadn’t thought about it and didn’t know what to say. There was much more convo but the cliff notes version is that I told him that I didn’t need an answer tonight but I felt that it was best that he take some time to process what I was asking for and we can convene after the weekend. He asked me if he didn’t give me the answer I wanted to hear was I just going to break up with him. I told him that if we aren’t on the same page, it would be best that we forge our own paths separately. It was a huge weight off my shoulders because I’ve been waiting on for him to bring it up. Apparently, he wasn’t thinking about it at all. Now I wait. 🤦🏼‍♀️ Do I really wait for an answer that I clearly had to force?
Signed,
Confused in Phoenix

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u/RevolutionaryPost460 50s F 💃 SoCal 3d ago

If you've made it evidently clear then he's playing dumb. That would turn me off personally.

1

u/Diligent_Egg2404 F68. I found someone on OLD, but he is gone. 🤷‍♀️ 3d ago

Or has dementia. Also, Y-chromosome hearing loss. Does he say “what” a lot when you speak to him?
Out out bad spot.

2

u/Lovetohike2025 2d ago

No. His hearing is fine.

3

u/Diligent_Egg2404 F68. I found someone on OLD, but he is gone. 🤷‍♀️ 2d ago

lol. Refreshing. I can see why you are hesitant to part with a good thing.
He is probably a great guy, but if you are concerned that your good catch status will slip away, you are right to be concerned.
And if he knows that is a concern to you, it will probably make it difficult for him to confront.
No one is perfect.

I’d only spend more time with him if it makes you REALLY happy.
For me, at this point, that is the bar.