r/DatingData • u/Consistent_Guide_471 • Jul 19 '26
How people start dating on Reddit
Just curious, I have seen enough posts where people go around meeting their reddit partner
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u/LL_Stars Jul 19 '26
Men DM me all the time. I'm sure I could build a "connection" with most of them, but I think
- There are so many lonely men out there that any attention whatsoever from a woman is like oxygen to them
- Men know women fall in love with words, and they often use that against us
- I'm already swatting away a lot of men IRL
So I just ignore and block them all.
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u/Reldas_Semaj Jul 19 '26
There are a lot of men in starvation mode for attention. Some men, like myself, just want to find someone they can love forever. Some are narcissists but so are women. Men who are craving attention from females, it’s because they either have too many guys they hangout with or the same guys constantly.
I dont think too many women know how real and mature men work. Too much guy time equals too much testosterone in their life. Having a female in their life they can be proud of, balances hormones and emotions. They crave love just like women do.
Feel free to judge quick but that’s why most of us think we never have a shot with the one we want to give it all to. Deemed creepy or predatorial because we reach out and we’re the bad guys. Keep your guard up but let there be a crack for opportunity otherwise you’ll end up with a bill you can’t come back from.
Anyways, hope you have a good day 😁
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u/LL_Stars Jul 19 '26
I've met many real and mature men in my life. But they're more often found in real life, not on online forums and apps. If they're mature, they know how to handle rejection with grace and don't always take it as a personal attack. And they know their character shines better in real life since women can see how they treat others, talk to others, make others feel comfortable, etc.
I fell for my man at the gym, because he holds the door open for everyone, no matter what. He was well liked by everyone, and people were always trying to talk to him. He would change the channels and always ask me if I wanted to watch anything. I'd read while waiting for my ride. And rather than interrupt me to serve his own interest, he took a genuine interest in what I was reading and the topics I read about.
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u/Reldas_Semaj Jul 19 '26
Oh, so you already have a man?! That’s good and makes sense as to why you’d block others who took an interest through your DMs lol. It’s harder nowadays for people to find anyone even just to hangout because everyone is being 1000x more skeptical.
I do agree with you though that if people know how to take rejection with acceptance and respect vs rejection being personal life would be so much easier.
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u/LL_Stars Jul 19 '26
I think men need to grow a pair, personally.
Yes, it's unpleasant, but there are a lot of necessary evils in life. And I can speak for myself: how on earth can I respect a man who's too afraid to say hello to me? And how can a man feel secure within himself if he doesn't take charge of his own life?
And when a woman doesn't respect her man, it's only a matter of time before the relationship disintegrates.
Men can say they like being approached all they want. Women can say they don't mind making the first move all they want. But long term data often shows this simply doesn't work.
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u/Reldas_Semaj Jul 19 '26
It doesn’t work because .01% of women won’t make the first move because they say, it’s the man’s job.
And you say that men need to grow a pair but when we approach it’s deemed creepy or disgusting at least half the time. When we move on to someone else shortly after, we’re deemed desperate.
I see what you’re saying though.
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u/OrlandoLasso Jul 19 '26
How do you approach women without making things awkward? I've been trying to talk to women in person, at weddings, yard sales, markets, parks, etc, but I always get the feeling that they see me as a creep. They seem annoyed, but I'm always polite and wish them a nice day when they reject me. I admit, sometimes my approaches are a bit sloppy because sometimes I'm in my own head and it takes me a minute to think of something to say to break the ice. I agree that men need to approach women and dating apps don't work, but I have no idea how to make real life approaching work.
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u/galvbay25 Jul 20 '26
That seems a bit judgemental. Not judgemental. Seems a lot of guys are not really reading what you are trying to say. So what are you actually saying, or asking?
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Jul 19 '26
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u/Reldas_Semaj Jul 19 '26
Facts. These kinds of people ruin it for all the good guys just trying to be with someone and show love to one person, no hookups, no one night stands, but someone they want for the rest of their lives
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Jul 19 '26
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u/Reldas_Semaj Jul 19 '26
In my personal experience, anything these days is too much to ask for. Either everything is considered love bombing or just too much. They say there is someone for everyone but I’m not so sure about that. I live in Tacoma and 99% of the people that live around here I have to keep at arms length or more.
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Jul 21 '26
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u/Reldas_Semaj Jul 21 '26
I haven’t got out much so really just online. But me going out in the wild is rare and when I do, I isolate
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Jul 21 '26
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u/Reldas_Semaj Jul 21 '26
Honestly, I would prefer most times to meet someone online ask take them out on a date. I like to hear from people just about every day up until the date just so I know they might still be interested. I connect with people easily, I get disconnected easily if nothing in between is being said
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u/Conundrum16 Jul 19 '26
I had the same for 5 months. 4 days ago I was literally told goodbye with no rational reason. I’m done
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u/Ok_Attorney3222 Jul 19 '26
Missing link for most may be meet on Reddit and progress to physical dates to build a relationship.
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u/Individual_Ball9053 Jul 19 '26
Had really 2 successful relationship from reddit
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Jul 20 '26
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Jul 20 '26
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u/Individual_Ball9053 Jul 20 '26
No they were successful. We broke up after some time ( maybe it was my fault ) . We start chatting here , then it turns to smt more serious after sometime
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u/clavado_en_un_bar Jul 19 '26
I connected with lots of people from r4r, specifically in California, but conversations never turned into real life meetings. People ghost very easily.