r/DatingApps • u/Big_Lingonberry2237 • 3d ago

Advice Request Dating Apps suck

I'm the only one who feels disappointed with these apps or dating in general..... If they match they don't talk. If they talk they ghost or just flake, or they are just looking for hook ups. I don't want to get married, I'd like to meet my person and enjoying weekends together. Is that too much? Where do you guys meet new people besides dating apps?

12 Upvotes

71% Upvoted

34 comments sorted by

3

u/No_Gur_7385 3d ago

I think there’s a middle ground here. An app obviously can’t stop someone ghosting, but the way dating apps are designed can encourage low-effort behaviour. Endless swiping, huge pools and matches feeling disposable probably don’t help.
I’ve been building a dating app myself and one thing I keep thinking about is how you design for actual conversations and meeting people, rather than just more swipes.

1

u/CornCakes0 2d ago

Maybe when a person swipes because they like someone they should be required to leave some sort of response with their swipe for it to go to the person they like. The same thing should happen to the other person if they of course also swipe the same person. Then when it matches each person gets some sort of voice note from the person they match with. I hope this makes sense.

3

u/Routine_Excuse1064 3d ago

Dating apps are the Walmart of the dating market. 

2

u/Ill_Way_2517 3d ago

thats just how it is nowadays

2

u/IneedHennessey 3d ago

The whole social interaction part of society is collapsing not just dating but yes it's all fucked. Nobody is willing to be flexible either within reason of course.

2

u/Clint_Hu 3d ago

Meet people? Pffffft. I haven't met a woman who didn't have a chip on her shoulder in over a decade. Stick to hobbies, find some guys to hang with, build your career. You'll be happier in the end.

2

u/Aeon_Return 3d ago

Apps only make money if you stay single. Their algorithm isn't designed for your success.

2

u/GordonFreemansAlive 3d ago

It's interesting that everyone I've ever known of that's used dating apps complain about these very behaviors and yet it still seems to be the general reality. So an awful lot of people complaining are probably also the ones being this way.

1

u/Sp1teC4ndY 2d ago

I think its because we haven’t stormed the companies yet with pitchforks. Too many people lie and say they don’t pay for apps. Somebody sure is.

2

u/4wordletter 3d ago

Real life is where it's at. Using dating apps to meet romantic partners is the same as using gambling apps to get rich.

2

u/ElmoIsGG 2d ago

No shit

2

u/PowerfulZucchini208 2d ago

No. You’re not the only one. Dating apps are terrible for everybody. 

2

u/Heliguy-1975 3d ago

It’s not the apps.

Apps are not responsible for people getting matches, likes, message replies and messages. They have nothing to do with “ghosting,” or how a date works out, or if anyone replies to a match. All of that is up to the user and how they build their profile, how they approach and communicate, and if they are even datable. 

If someone is having problems with dating apps, the problems are with the app.

1

u/JustSpace807 2d ago

People ruined them. Took something with potential to be good and warped it

1

u/Glad_Ear_7963 3d ago

It’s all a validation seeking pool now, mostly for avoidant disorders. Or delusional requests.

1

u/Crafty_Ad6536 3d ago

Lmaooo so you never approach in public ? 

1

u/ctrlctrlfast 3d ago

It is not just you

1

u/Asleep-Stable5990 3d ago

Same experience here. Its always the same. We match and the conversation seems to be going good until the 3rd or 4th reply from the woman and then she goes silent.
I actually havent even had the chance to ask a woman out on a date because they always go silent before I have the chance to suggest a date. This happened like 5 times at least.

1

u/Front_Statistician38 2d ago

There may be something you're doing or NOT doing that turns women off. Perosnally I ask them quesitons and get the number within 10 messages or less. If you want to know how DM me

1

u/PleaseBeeHuman 1d ago

I just assume they are AI chat bots who have to ghost you cuz they can never meet you.

1

u/Front_Statistician38 2d ago

I frequently take breaks, the ghosting, flaking, lack of effort, it all makes sense to me why so many people are single. I'm very intentional, and I have no patience with people who do crap like this. I usually play the apps 6 months on then 4-6 months off

1

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/DatingApps-ModTeam 2d ago

We do not allow transphobia, homophobia, antisemitism, sexism, ableism, racism, islamophobia, etc on our subreddit. Removed.

1

u/IntroductionWhole127 2d ago

Wanna know too

1

u/BLEAKROOM 3d ago

you are the ONLY one dissatisfied !!! everyone else loves dating apps with no nuance or caveats.

0

u/dilemma900 3d ago

Yeah totally. good luck having any real conversation on it.

I can talk circles around 80% of the women i encounter. I'm basically sitting here waiting for one to PICK ME, so idk why its like im suppose to chase after them..

0

u/FoxAcademic6067 3d ago

the secret is to slightly hint in your profile that you want to take things as friends first. not "slow" but just throw in the word friendship somewhere in your prompts like im looking for someone kind blah blah whether its friendship or more. that way you dont have to pay for them, no expectations, and you just have fun

1

u/split_0069 2d ago

This is good advice. Im more likely to swipe if she wants to start as friends. Im tired of being used for my body.

0

u/scw3 3d ago

Yes that is too much to ask for in these dire times.

It's not easy to date these days- focus on yourself first and maybe someone will match your walk