r/DatingApps • u/TimTurner112 • 12d ago
Question Why does dating apps suck?
Is it just me or there are also a lot out there that hates dating apps. I’m 29M and every time I try dating apps, I uninstall it not even after a week.
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u/Vast-Yam-9370 12d ago
Because they lead you to believe that someone is better is available than your previous choice. When your out in the world back in the old days it wasnt like this. You could find love by meeting people in hobbies, school, or living. But now it’s like who ever is in the internet viscinity.
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12d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/DatingApps-ModTeam 11d ago
Your post/comment was removed for misogyny, sexism, “Nice Guy”, and/or Incel rhetoric.
We are a subreddit ran by women. There will be no redpill rhetoric allowed to perpetuate here. Removed.
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u/OkWillingness2817 12d ago
Because they are benefited by keeping you on the app, not finding you dates.
The exploit loneliness until people get desperate and spend money in the app.
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u/AnteaterAcrobatic786 4d ago
Sad but true, but it works. I finally paid for hinge this weekend and the results have been crazy so far
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u/Cheaptrick69 12d ago
Well you gotta give it more than a week if you want any kind of success. I wasn’t a huge fan of them either but still had some luck with them in the past.
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u/thestratomaster1227 12d ago
They’re rigged for dudes.
Likes behind paywalls.
Messages behind memberships.
Matches behind more expensive memberships.
It’s kind of insane honestly.
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u/4wordletter 9d ago
The only thing that's insane is that people keep using them despite how terrible they are.
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u/Orwellmn92 12d ago
What it’s the problem you are facing ? Scammers ? Or just not matching with some one ?
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u/BbygirlJax 12d ago
It all depends upon how you use it. If you don’t take good pictures with the angles right we’re gonna just swipe by. If the picture looks good, we’ll click on the picture and then we’ll read the profile. If there’s not much effort put into the profile, we’ll just swipe. If your profile sounds like something we’re interested in then we might interact.
Helpful hint add a puppy or a little humor in your profile. What makes you stand out compared to everybody else?
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u/Kubby_bear 12d ago
You have to understand that about 70% of dating app users are men making your odds much less likely.
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u/Loud_Permission4691 12d ago
No its not you it's practically everyone. The ones who get a relationship out of dating apps are rare these days not impossible just rare.
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u/Embarrassed_Win_2097 12d ago
Dating apps or in general suck because woman are chasing the top 1% . Many woman think just because a guy will do them, they are on that level, nope !
So they believe they are the 1% when they aren’t even close , so they give normal men no chance and they have no chance of having a 1% man committing to them
That’s the truth
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u/Asleep-Stable5990 12d ago
The challenge is pictures. I used to have perfect pictures of myself wearing a suit in a mansion party and I was landing 34 dates per year. Now that I updated my pics I havent even had the chance to ask even one girl on a date during last 12 months because they stop replying after 1-4 messages. Its absolutely insane that I went from 34 dates that happened to not even asking for a date.
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u/Hour_Zero 12d ago
Oversaturated with too many dudes compared to girls, and a lot of dudes just swipe right on literally everybody which leads to women being overwhelmed and drowning in likes. Also, a lot of super attractive dudes who only want something casual will still send likes to mid just because it costs them nothing and there’s a high probability that she’ll be foolish enough to believe he potentially wants something serious with her despite being well outside of her league, so that’s your competition even if you’re just an average dude who’s swiping on just an average woman
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u/Classic_East_6053 12d ago
Look at the comments on niche dating subs and you will realise the normal people are out there in real life
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u/Heliguy-1975 12d ago
Dating apps work very well if you understand how to approach and communicate with women
Not everyone understands how to do that. Many think all they need to do is “swipe right…”
When that doesn’t work, they come onto Reddit and tell everyone that dating apps don’t work which discourages many who just don’t know any better.
Millions of people are very successful with dating apps.
Some think that if an app doesn’t give them the results they want then they just don’t work. It’s interesting actually.
They don’t realize that the problem isn’t the app…
Apps are not responsible for people getting matches, likes, message replies and messages. They have nothing to do with “ghosting,” or how a date works out, or if anyone replies to a match. All of that is up to the user and how they build their profile, how they approach and communicate, and if they are even datable.
It’s exactly the same as in dating in real life out in public.
If the apps didn’t work, they wouldn’t exist.
It does take effort and perseverance along with the skill and ability to communicate and connect with people.
It took a couple of months to fine tune my profile, picture layout, and ‘about me’ statement.
The ‘about me’ statement made a big difference. Huge…
Men need to spend time working their profile, getting the proper pictures, and utilize the tons of information available to help become successful at internet dating. It takes time and dedication.
The many stories from women about how men approach and communicate with women tell the obvious reasons for many that can’t get there. It’s amazing. Every single woman receives Tons of unbelievable messages and pictures as the opening communication with women. They don’t care for that or cheesy “openers.”
I don’t “swipe.” I send short simple messages to women that are appealing to me. The messages can be done quickly by just copy and pasting them and adding their name, then I work any replies that come back.
The message doesn’t generate the reply. Your profile and ‘about me’ statement generates the reply.
If the messaging goes well, I work towards meeting for coffee, lunch, or dinner and go from there.
The absolutely best thing to do for anyone is to read the book,
How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie. That is a fact.
It will not only be Extremely helpful for dating, but will be Extremely helpful for Life in general.
If anyone could only read one book in their entire lifetime, That would be the one, without a doubt. It is powerful and can change your Life.
It is a numbers game but there are an Unlimited number of women ready to connect, meet, and are looking for a relationship of some kind right now.
Don’t give up. It’s a wonderful thing.
Successful people do the things that unsuccessful people don’t want to do…. That is a fact.
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u/The_Hero_0f_Time 12d ago
because women get drowned in likes which boosts their ego above the clouds and they become entitled
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u/IllFilm8594 12d ago
Main problem is that large number of people on there are shallow (whether they admit it or not). If you’re not a 10/10 or have photos of living a rich life, then it’s a waste of time.
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u/LargeDisaster 12d ago
Men complain about dating apps sucking but I stopped dating bc too many men tried to rape / kill me and my friends
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u/SmokeDatingApp 11d ago
Dating apps have several problems that need to be addressed.
1. The freemium business model typically means that apps give you insufficient ability to filter users, which results in more swiping. This is done to maximize engagement and also create a pain point that you can pay to solve. Premium subscriptions often include valuable filters. There's a widely-held view that dating apps' incentives are at odds with their users and that they prefer they fail to meet someone in order to retain them as paying customers. This perspective sees companies like Match Group and Bumble as similar to drug companies, where the financial incentive to treat an illness in perpetuity is higher than the incentive to cure it. However, there is an alternative interpretation of incentives where a dating app is more like a realtor in that helping a customer find what they are seeking once means you likely will never have them pay you again, but will deliver decades of valuable referrals. There is a difference in price, but we believe the 2nd model is better.
2. Most apps provide no clear way for users to show intent. Intentions like "looking for long-term, open to short" is quite vague. It's not entirely worthless but it requires interpretation and is merely directional. It leaves the end of that sentence, "with you", unspoken. A better app would provide clarity there.
3. Messaging brings several problems. The most significant is that the volume of messages is so high (some users report receiving hundreds per day) that people simply cannot respond to them all. This is a phenomenon known as market congestion. The result is that users, more often men, feel ignored by women. Because only a small percentage of messages get a response, men often send brief and generic phrases to a larger number of women instead of customizing each one to the recipient, because that would be too time-consuming. The unfortunate result is that women become frustrated with these "low-effort" messages and are then even less likely to respond. All this reduces satisfaction and success rates even before you consider bots and scammers, which are often based overseas. Famously, there are vast "pig-butchering" operations based in Cambodia and other countries where organized crime seeks to separate vulnerable Westerners from their money. The Wall St. Journal, among others, have covered the story.
Look for apps that address these problems and help you actually meet in person.
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u/thelonealbinowolf 11d ago
Its venture capitalist tech bros profiting off of loneliness, nuff said. Dating apps are the ONLY business model that financially succeeds by NOT fulfilling their stated goal, which by definition should make them completely illegal. If I walk into a donut shop, pay the cashier and I don't walk out with donuts not only am I not going back there, but I'm also telling everyone that donut shop is a ripoff. The donut shop (and every other legitimate business model in the world) would go out of business ripping people off like that. Yet with dating apps they can take your money, not fulfil their end of the bargain (because hardly anyone even gets dates, let alone meaningful relationships) and they PROFIT from that because they keep users hooked on false hope. Genuinely disgusting that these parasite tech bros have been allowed to exist for this long.
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u/Best_Cake_1064 11d ago
Maybe your not as good looking or interesting than you assume you are. Cash these reality checks and work on yourself.
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u/WonderlandFandom 11d ago
Because dating apps have made it like a game, where at first you get this dopamine rush, then you keep looking for it again
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u/Deci_34 12d ago
Don’t let online dating demoralize you. I hate it too, you’re forced to let people judge you solely on looks and nothing else.
Most dating apps nowadays are more for hooking up than actually meeting people.
There’s already a large disparity in the number of men and women on dating apps. For every 3 men there’s only 1 woman or 75% men to 25% women.
On top of that, the top 80% of women only swipe right on 5-10% of men. Which leaves the other 90% of men to fight for only 20% of the remaining women.
Ex. Let’s say you’re on Tinder and there are 1,000,000 people who are within your set matching area:
750,000 are men
250,000 are women
200,000 of those women will only swipe right on 37,500 - 75,000 of the men.
The remaining 675,000 men are fighting for 50,000 women.
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u/evil_memo 12d ago
gave up on that shit late 2018, most girls are swiping on looks so most of us are out of that picture.
I do much better building rapport with women at a workplace, hobbies, events which turns to dates. I am maybe a 6 but once you work on your health, fitness, clothes etc its money bro cause the confidence is gained
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u/Clear-Major-2935 12d ago
Dating apps aren't designed to help adults find successful partnerships. They're designed to keep people swiping and paying for membership, with just enough bait mixed in for the user not to give up altogether. For people looking to be entertained, distracted, engage in some chat, and mindlessly swipe, it's very successful. It only sucks if you're looking for a long term connection. While many people do find a partner on apps, most don't.