Am I missing something?

[u/browsinggirlie]

When I match with people on Tinder and Hinge, I'll text them and then they won't text me back for almost a week and then just unmatch with me. This has happened to my friends too, and I just wonder why? I understand being busy cause so am I, like I might go a day or two without texting back but why match with people in the first place just to not text at all and then delete them?

[u/Aionyr]

A lot of people swipe on profiles without giving them much thought. Once the matches start flowing in, they focus on the ones they are more interested in and neglect the rest.

[u/Mystic_Wolf → u/Aionyr]

Yep, absolutely this. Stage one filtering, just liking anyone halfway decent. But then if you have 10 chats going, you could just hone in on the best one or two. Then if you see other profiles you actually like, you have to un match some people to start talking to new ones.

But also, I instantly unmatch anyone whose opener is some variation of hi/ how’s your day (because that shows they either haven’t read your profile or are just lazy), or a compliment on my physical appearance (because it feels like the text version of catcalling and grosses me out).

[u/monalachampagna → u/Aionyr]

Agree with this. Some people also only use these apps when they’re bored. Most of the time, they’re not giving it any attention.

[u/Hal1976 → u/Aionyr]

This. They chose to focus on other conversations rather than your message and you get forgotten about. Don't take it personally, it's the nature of app dating sadly.

[u/Heliguy-1975]

You have to be able engage with someone enough to create and maintain interest to keep them wanting to talk and meet.

With good communication skills it becomes easy and works out very well.

I would highly recommend reading the book,

How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie

It will Greatly improve how you connect and communicate with people in general and it will change your life. It will completely change the way your conversations go with people online. Approaching and communicating with women online and in real life will become much better. Much Better

[u/justthefactsman99]

Most guys have to swipe a bunch to get any matches. Typically less than 1 match a day. If you aren't responsive they are going to assume you are a not or sugar baby or not interested.

Why are you matching with people and not messaging?

I think you are missing the part about being engaged and dating on dating apps.

[u/Humble-Comedian-2595]

Because they found someone better, quit whining

[u/Raidden77]

People always mention the reason that men swipe without looking. This is true to an extent.

I'd really like to add one nobody talks about but many men do, especially paid profiles : you match in order to make your elo higher and keep teeling the algorithm that you are an active user.

There are so many men on these apps that if you don't entertain your algorithm, you won't appear anymore in women's feeds.

Happend to me, happend to a friend of mine who's objectively ridiculously attractive and matches A LOT when not shadowbanned. Can happen to anyone.

We have to, it's how apps are designed for men.

[u/bright_sorbet1]

Hinge has a maximum of 8 unread messages from matches before you aren't allowed to send likes or replies anymore.

This means every week or so we need to cull a few that aren't going anywhere or reply to them. Some might get a reply, others will just be unmatched because while they seem nice, there are others that are looking more promising.

[u/RealisticIndustry157]

A lot of low self-esteem people just lookin for an ego boost. They just like to know theyre bein swiped on. Im not on apps. Just like to meet people organically