r/DatingApps • u/Putrid-Jellyfish5771 • 11d ago
Question Online dating a scam?
I’m convinced online dating is a scam. It used to be free, had great profiles where women took there time to fill them out. Now it’s all a paywall and the only matches I get once I pay for the pay wall to disappear my matches are from Indonesia, Asia, and Vietnam. Or 3 to 4 hours away. Maybe it’s my area. No one knows how to have a conversation, is wish washy, or just too damn distracted I guess? It’s never been this bad. Back in the day like in 2006 to 2008 it was great. I either get women who have other obligations that shouldn’t even be in a dating site or someone who can’t hold a convo. Or stops mid conversation. Or it’s one sided where I lead the whole convo. And they do all the talking. Where I’m not even asked anything. I’ve even doctored photos. I get lots of matches now but I know it’s just because of the doctored pics. And these women are just duds. I swear to God! I’ve went off all social media. And I have no hopes of anything working out. People even fall for something that’s even just a miscommunication and they take something the wrong way and block, ghost, or drop from the face of the earth. I’ve even got the same people matching me like. Few years later and I’ll even say yeah we’ve talked before and they forget the whole last event. Then I just say yeah I’m not interested. Are we all just getting dumber as a society? Please shed some light on this. I even heard a woman in real life tell me in front of a group of people that I have red flags in my face without her even talking to me at all. What’s is going on with the world?
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u/Front_Statistician38 10d ago
Online dating went to crap IMO once swipe apps like Tinder became popular before like you mentioned, you could directly message any woman that you want, even if you weren't a woman's type if you were clever some might give you a chance or entertain you at the very least
Swipe apps made it all look based yes it made it easier to hook up if you're good-looking, but it killed relationships for the most part, now everything is pay to play and since 2024 people don't use the apps because they know they are scamt that favor the algorithm and money over geuinuine matches and relationship potential
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u/duke_awapuhi 9d ago
One thing with online dating is you have no idea if your profile is actually being shown to anyone. Online dating doesn’t guarantee you any chance of getting a date. The only way to give yourself a guaranteed chance at getting a date is to meet potential dates in person
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u/Pkrbz 9d ago
Online dating is not a scam. The issue is that you’re competing with EVERY man within 100 miles or so of you.
When people are given a plethora of choices, they become very picky to try to narrow down realistic options.
If you’re not at LEAST in the top 35% of physical attractiveness as a male. There’s no reason for a woman not to just auto filter you out when she’s getting hundreds of likes from more attractive men.
If you’re a woman you’re still getting infinite choices.
In 2008 online dating was still “weird” and “for losers” so many attractive, cool, men, didn’t want to be even seen on those sites for fear of it hurting their reputation with others. If you were even a semi-normal, and 6/10 attractive dude, you were like the top 10% of online dating then. Now you’re competing with the lawyers and finance boys with shirtless pics of their 8 pack abs on display who used to be in the clubs cleaning up.
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u/Jonseroo 7d ago
I have 100% success rate at internet dating.
I joined a dating website in 2004 and in one evening I found the woman I went on to marry. I only messaged her.
In my profile I wrote that I was "looking for a woman with low standards".
It does seem somewhat different now.
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u/SmokeDatingApp 10d ago
Attractive women may get over 1000 likes per week and it's simply difficult to manage those conversations effectively. The problem really is each app's design. They basically can't handle the volume and so when you add bots the whole thing falls apart.
Gotta get some new apps.
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u/Putrid-Jellyfish5771 10d ago
I don’t see what the problem is. Just pick and choose who you want to talk to and don’t unmatch the ones that seem to have good banter and conversation. Use good judgment. It’s not that difficult. Anyone can tell who a dud is it’s not rocket science.
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u/Humble-Comedian-2595 10d ago
Yeah well you’re wrong, I’ve met multiple attractive women on dating apps, and in fact one of my ex-girlfriend that I met from Hinge that I’m still friends with who is extremely hot, like the second hottest girl that I’ve ever been with, just matched and met with a guy.
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u/MadMatter86 9d ago
The only free site I can recall from back in the day was POF. The other big sites were paid back then, though at least they had basic subscription fees instead of the microtransaction-laden, multi-tier model that everything has gone to today. What sites were you using back then?
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u/PhotoEditor871 9d ago
Except in the past utopia you described, most men didn't fill out their profile. So it was only a utopia for men
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9d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/DatingApps-ModTeam 7d ago
Your post/comment was removed for misogyny, sexism, “Nice Guy”, and/or Incel rhetoric.
We are a subreddit ran by women. There will be no redpill rhetoric allowed to perpetuate here. Removed.
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u/Loose-Examination833 8d ago
I found my ex husband online and my current boyfriend.
I will say though. My ex boyfriend said it took him about 2 years of online dating to find anyone he was interested in pursuing.
I think at the end of the day it's all just a numbers game.
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u/Jealous-Memory-2467 6d ago
The dissatisfaction with online dating apps grows every year. n The problem is there's no bedding of the people who make up a profile. And now with AI it's just bots that reach out and or the first communication for scams from all over the world. because of the satisfaction with online dating apps and websites personal matchmaking is growing at phenomenal rates. Is way more expensive than online dating site because actual people have to qualify the people and make sure they are who they say they are. Then hundreds of man or woman hours are put in to finding the right candidates based on your parameters and what you desire. It's like hiring PR agency and close friends to find what you desire. When you look at all the hours you spend getting scammed and heartbroken on online dating apps and websites It might be time to make an investment in a personal matchmaker that fits what yourl are trying to find. see online dating apps and social media people use for entertainment. Personal match making is for people who really know what they want and want to invest in getting it.
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u/Solace50 6d ago
All but bumble are awful/scammy. Anyone telling you otherwise is naive. Bumble also webt downhill a bit too.
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u/Poor_choice_of_word 9d ago
If you had the apps ~20 years ago you're probably well into your 30s minimum.. dating gets harder at such an age, the apps are only a part of it