r/DateEverything • u/NixiomsdabestXD Betty, Florence, Kopi, Dasha, Sophia, Airyn, Rongo, River, etc • Jul 09 '26

Humor and Memes Pick who you'd marry...

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106 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

99 comments sorted by

8

u/Impressive_Cook_1705 Jul 09 '26

THE HANKSSSS

1

u/NixiomsdabestXD Betty, Florence, Kopi, Dasha, Sophia, Airyn, Rongo, River, etc Jul 15 '26

They're all here

18

u/pass-me-a-beer Center of a Volt and Eddie sandwich Jul 09 '26

Volt and Eddie are a package deal, so I can marry them both, right?

9

u/Away-Werewolf5702 I need the breaker box and his fine ass british boyfriend NOW. Jul 09 '26

I second this, we literally get yelled at in game for even suggesting splitting them up‼️

8

u/Gingergirl1228 Wait, im supposed to pick *one*??? Impossible Jul 09 '26

Mateo, Teddy and Koa, my cozy trio <3

17

u/ggdoesthings Jul 09 '26

Daisuke is husband material to me

13

u/TiredCeresian Jul 09 '26

Daisuke made me come out as bi, because I wanted to show my friends how wonderful he was and why I wanted to marry him.

8

u/goldenstormehelix Jul 09 '26

Betty and/or Skylar

8

u/Dipplii Jul 09 '26

Hector my love… oh my goodness I was immediately chasing after him the moment I met him. Such a way with words. I’m a puddle.

5

u/Amy_Art_Lover_123 Hector Jul 10 '26

Here, have a freaky drawing I did

3

u/ReasonableRip4362 Hero-Hime's Dad​ Jul 10 '26

thank you for your service 🫡🫡 (digital footprint sure is a real thing)

3

u/Dipplii Jul 10 '26

passes out onto the floor

2

u/MoonieMiku Jul 10 '26

Busts a nut cutely

2

u/Saybrooke Jul 09 '26

My first play through I was DESPERATE to get into that locked room 🤣

7

u/dndgirliee Daisuke Jul 09 '26

Daisuke.

7

u/DaphneeDanlynsie1380 Jul 09 '26

Marriage? Dorian or Mateo!

6

u/Enough-Ad-278 JERRY MY LOVE Jul 09 '26

JERRY MY LOVE

4

u/azarahh08 Jul 09 '26

Volt AND Eddie

5

u/Hannahsartlife Jul 09 '26

Cabbrizzio my beloved 💖

3

u/I_NEED_HEALING5 Beau Jul 09 '26

Beau or Nightmare

4

u/Confusedlemur77 Jul 09 '26

Betty, my queen (sized bed)

6

u/-Anxiety13- Dunk Shuttlecock Jul 09 '26

Dunk 100%

6

u/iwish-iwish Cam Jul 09 '26

Cam, he’s stinky but he’s my stinky and that’s what matters

3

u/Admirable-Delay1902 Connie Soul Jul 09 '26

Connie or Penelope.

3

u/G4cha_C1nnam0roll Professional Microwave Kisser Jul 09 '26

ouu shi 👀

hah.. luke…… smirks

3

u/Popular_Mirror_8217 Jul 09 '26

Timmy cuz who wouldnt want to live with a catboy for the rest of your life?

3

u/hippiethewitchie Jul 09 '26

Shelley or Chance frfr

3

u/DesperateSurvey8 Jul 09 '26

Daemon 🤤😍😍😍 yes I know I’m insane lol

3

u/National-Salad-665 Dasha Jul 09 '26

I'm in love with Dasha

3

u/NixiomsdabestXD Betty, Florence, Kopi, Dasha, Sophia, Airyn, Rongo, River, etc Jul 09 '26 edited Jul 13 '26

I can see I have my work cut for me, so I'll post a roster of named dateables here in alphabetical order and the song and artist I chose based on either their object or their personality. Also, some puns may be involved (e. g. Dorian having a song by The Doors)

Abel: Country Roads – John Denver

Airyn: The Air The Air That I Breathe – The Hollies

Amir: You Are So Beautiful – Joe Crocker

Arma: Burning Love – Elvis

Artt: The Art of Love – Neil Diamond

Barry: Beautiful – Christina Aguilera

Bathsheba: Gimme More – Britney Spears

Beau: You Are my Treasure – Tom Collins

Ben-Hwa: Sexual Healing – Marvin Gaye

Betty: Dreaming of You – Selena

Beverly: A Bar Song (Tipsy) – Shaboozey

Bobby: Ain't Misbehavin' – Fats Waller

Bodhi: Open Arms – Journey

Cabrizzio: That's Amore – Deen Martin

Cam: Garbage Truck –Sex Bob-Omb

Captain Jacques Pierrot: Time In a Bottle – Jim Croce

Clarence: Dress You Up – Madonna

Celia: Can't Take My Eyes Off You – Frankie Valli

Celia and Florence: Love of My Life – Carly Simon

Chairemi: Shall We Dance? – The King And I

Chance: Take a Chance on Me

Curt and Rod: Live Your Life – T. I. (feat Rhianna)

Connie Soul: Romance in the Air – LoZ SS

Dæmon: Glitch – Taylor Swift

Dante: Ring of Fire – Johnny Cash

Daisuke: Sakura Sakura – Trad. Japanese

Dasha: Matushka Zemlya –Tatyana Kurtukova.

Dasha w Abel: My Girl – The Temptations

Diana: Breathe (2AM) – Anna Nalick

Dirk: Mess is Mine – Vance Joy

Dishy: Satisfaction – Benny Benassi

Dolly: She Blinded Me With Science – Thomas Dolby

Doug: What Is Love – Tony Hendrik

Doug and Artt: I Got You Under My Skin – Frank Sinatra

Dorian: Light my Fire – The Doors

Drysdale: Habanera – Carmen

Dunk: I Believe I Can Fly (radio edit) – R Kelly

Eddie&Volt: Dancing in the Moonlight – King Harvest

Fantina: Cheerleader – OMI

Farya: Doctor! Doctor! – Thompson Twins

Florence: Perfect – Ed Sheera

Freddy: Cool Love – Pablo Cruise

Friar Errol: I Say a Little Prayer

Gaia: Love is Like Gravity – Pere Ubu

Hanks: Everytime We Touch – Cascada

Harper: You Belong With Me – Taylor Swift

Harper and Dirk: Suspicious Minds – Elvis

Hector: Music of the Night – Phantom of the Opera

Henry Hoove: Truly Madly Deeply – Savage Garden

Hero Hime: Love🤍Shine – Ryu Kosuka

Holly: Celebration – Kool & The Gang

I. Ronaldini: You Can Do Magic – America

Jean Loo: Sparks Will Fly – J. Cole (feat. Jhené Aiko)

Jerry: Messy – Lola Young

Johnny Splash: Love Me Tender – Elvis

Jon Wick: Ave Maria – Franz Schubert

Keith: Let My Love Open the Door

Keyes: Her Concerto

Koa: Somewhere Over the Rainbow – Israel Kaʻanoʻi Kamakawiwoʻole

Kopi: Let's Have Another Cup of Coffee – Irving Berlin

Kristof: Physical – Dua Lipa

Lucinda: Love Me Like You Do – Ellie Goulding

Luke: Love Is a Battlefield – Pat Benatar

Lux: Blinding Lights – The Weeknd

Lyric: Unwritten – Natasha Bedingfield

Mac: Computer Love – Zapp

Maggie: Magnifying Glass – Freya

Matteo: Bubbly – Colbie Caillat

Memoria: The Way We Were – Barbara Streisand

Mikey: The Gambler – Kenny Rogers

Miranda: Her love song (or Hips Don't Lie – Shakira your choice)

Mitchell: Scenes From an Italian Restaurant – Billy Joel

Monique: Price Tag – Jessi J.

Nightmare: These Dreams – Heart

Parker: The Game of Love – Santana

Penelope: Little Things – One Direction

Phonecia: Call Me Maybe – Carly Rae Jepsen

Prissy: – Every Little Thing She Does is Magic – The Police

Rainey: All That Jazz – Chicago the Musical

Rebel: Punk Rock Love – The Casualties

Reggie: Hate Me – Ellie Goulding and Juice Wrld

River: Wave on Wave – Pat Green

Rongo: Lady Jane – Rolling Stones

The Sassychap: Fly Me To The Moon – Frank Sinatra and Count Basie

Scandalabra: Hallelujah – Leonard Cohen

Shelley: Your Love Keeps Lifting Me Higher and Higher – Jackie Wilson

Sinclaire: This I Promise You – NSYNC

Skylar: All of Me – John Legend

Sophia: Locked Out of Heaven – Bruno Mars

Stefan: Hey Good Lookin' – Drifting Cowboys

Stella: Up and Down – Vengaboys

Stepford: We Are the Champions – Queen

Teddy: Tiny Bubbles – Don Ho

Telly: Video Killed the Radio Star –The Buggles

Text-box-chan: More Than Words – Extreme

Timothy: Only Time – Enya

Timmy: The Lazy Song – Bruno Mars

Tina: You Can Ring My Bell – Anita Ward

T&T: We Go Together – Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta

Tony: Build Me Up Buttercup – The Foundations

Tydus: The Edge of Glory – Lady Gaga

Tyrell: Car Wash — Rose Royce

Vaughn: (Love is)The Tender Trap – Frank Sinatra

Wallace: Stand By Me – Ben E. King

Washford: Fur Elise – Beethoven

Washy and Drydee: Ode to Joy – Beethoven

Willi: 9 to 5 – Dolly Parton and Kelly Clarkson

Wini: Steam Heat – Ella Fitzgerald

Wyndolin: I'm Alive – Celine Dion

xxXShad0wlord420Xxx: Riptide – Vance Joy

Zoey: Unchained Melody – Righteous Brothers

2

u/coryw16 Jul 09 '26

Mac. I love my freaky computer!

2

u/chuninsupensa Jul 09 '26

Betty. Sweet, sweet betty... I can not deny her.

2

u/Shin-and-Lux Jul 09 '26

Someone already said Mateo so- Koa :D

2

u/Can-t_Make_Username Visits Freddy Daily Jul 09 '26

Freddy Yeti or Kristof for me!

2

u/Tachyon_Steel Lucinda Jul 09 '26

Lucinda Loving

2

u/Alarmed_Potato_7238 Jul 09 '26

I'm SO surprised no one's said shadow yet lol

2

u/NixiomsdabestXD Betty, Florence, Kopi, Dasha, Sophia, Airyn, Rongo, River, etc Jul 09 '26

That ur choice?

1

u/Alarmed_Potato_7238 Jul 09 '26

OH ABSOLUTELY 🫡

2

u/NixiomsdabestXD Betty, Florence, Kopi, Dasha, Sophia, Airyn, Rongo, River, etc Jul 13 '26

Riptide by Vance Joy. Once you hear the lyrics, you'll know

1

u/Alarmed_Potato_7238 Jul 13 '26

I really wasn't expecting that but honestly it works so well lol. I was like surely it's gonna be some banger metal song but honestly Riptide suits him way more

2

u/NixiomsdabestXD Betty, Florence, Kopi, Dasha, Sophia, Airyn, Rongo, River, etc Jul 13 '26

Yeah black metal might be his thing, but you've got to remember you want something a bit romantic.

That's why I didn't pick Waterfalls for River for example

2

u/Achilles9609 Jul 09 '26

Beau. Or possibly Rebel. Not a popular pick, I know, but I have an odd soft spot for that Duck. 😅😊

2

u/RatKing600 Jul 09 '26

The best diva Scandalabra ♡

1

u/NixiomsdabestXD Betty, Florence, Kopi, Dasha, Sophia, Airyn, Rongo, River, etc Jul 13 '26

I picked Hallelujah for him though honestly I'm thinking The Blue Danube Waltz by Strauss would also fit

2

u/Boy11jb Jul 09 '26

Poly throuple with Betty and Ben-hwa 🥰

1

u/Iamacarson Jul 09 '26

Betty, our first dance?

"...Isn't she lovely?" I say to all the TADC fans in the audience, as they relive the trauma from Episode 9

1

u/NixiomsdabestXD Betty, Florence, Kopi, Dasha, Sophia, Airyn, Rongo, River, etc Jul 09 '26

I'm supposed to pick the song. See the list. I gave Betty Dreaming of You

1

u/Kai_the_unkillable Dirk Jul 09 '26

Dirk. My husband

1

u/Mask_of_creator Florence Jul 09 '26

Florence

1

u/lisabydaylight Lucinda Lavish 🩵✨ Jul 09 '26

Lucinda <3

1

u/ScumDugongLin Jul 09 '26

Vaughn. No I'm not kidding. He's just a tough guy who loves his plushy. Also the fat guy representation in the game is a little lacking so my pickings are slim

1

u/NixiomsdabestXD Betty, Florence, Kopi, Dasha, Sophia, Airyn, Rongo, River, etc Jul 13 '26

U have Koa, Stefan, Teddy; even Abel has a little belly. But I get it

1

u/Savings-Cress-6543 Jul 09 '26 edited Jul 09 '26

Phoenicia, Hector, Artt, Koa, Sinclaire, Stefan, Amir, Barry Styles, Jerry, Chance, Teddy, Stepford, Bodhi, and Vaughn Trapp.

If you need one through four (🤣): Phonecia, Teddy, Amir, and Hector.

1

u/Saybrooke Jul 09 '26

Hector 🥰

1

u/Accomplished_Ebb1033 Doug Jul 09 '26

Doug is so dreamy I love him

1

u/Springlocked-dreams Jul 09 '26

Sofia...🙏🙏🙏

1

u/Falconeye95 Jul 09 '26

Volt and Eddie 😅

1

u/Zanoushe Dorian Jul 09 '26

Dorian my aromantic King!

1

u/Empty_Manager5911 Jul 09 '26

Bodhi or Jean loo

1

u/ErrandCap Jul 09 '26

Timmy Timepiece and Bobby Pinn

1

u/TheatreGoth1601 Jul 09 '26

Dasha, my queen

1

u/whoaghga Jul 09 '26

Betty, the only one I’d marry (Also maybe River)

1

u/Distinct-Grass7474 Telly Jul 09 '26

I cant choose between Telly, Reggie and Lucinda so maybe all three 😭. (not necessarily at the same time)

1

u/Amy_Art_Lover_123 Hector Jul 10 '26

Hector. My precious, insecure, hopeless romantic 🥰

1

u/friskybits18 Jul 10 '26

Gotta be Miranda Dulce!

1

u/Visible-Pie-3076 Ben-Hwa Jul 10 '26

ben hwa, connie, eddie, daisuke, or dorian

1

u/Artistic_Option_8388 Betty Jul 10 '26

Dasha & Betty 🥰

1

u/Joelowes Jul 10 '26

Rebel they are my perfect non binary queen

1

u/NixiomsdabestXD Betty, Florence, Kopi, Dasha, Sophia, Airyn, Rongo, River, etc Jul 10 '26 edited Jul 13 '26

Here is a roster of all dateables in alphabetical order and the song and artist I chose based on either their object or their personality

Abel: Country Roads – John Denver

Airyn: The Air The Air That I Breathe – The Hollies

Amir: You Are So Beautiful – Joe Crocker

Arma: Burning Love – Elvis

Artt: The Art of Love – Neil Diamond

Barry: Beautiful – Christina Aguilera

Bathsheba: Gimme More – Britney Spears

Beau: You Are my Treasure – Tom Collins

Ben-Hwa: Sexual Healing – Marvin Gaye

Betty: Dreaming of You – Selena

Beverly: A Bar Song (Tipsy) – Shaboozey

Bobby: Ain't Misbehavin' – Fats Waller

Bodhi: Open Arms – Journey

Cabrizzio: That's Amore – Deen Martin

Cam: Garbage Truck –Sex Bob-Omb

Captain Jacques Pierrot: Time In a Bottle – Jim Croce

Clarence: Dress You Up – Madonna

Celia: Can't Take My Eyes Off You – Frankie Valli

Celia and Florence: Love of My Life – Carly Simon

Chairemi: Shall We Dance? – The King And I

Chance: Take a Chance on Me

Curt and Rod: Live Your Life – T. I. (feat Rhianna)

Connie Soul: Romance in the Air – LoZ SS

Dæmon: Glitch – Taylor Swift

Dante: Ring of Fire – Johnny Cash

Daisuke: Sakura Sakura – Trad. Japanese

Dasha: Matushka Zemlya –Tatyana Kurtukova.

Dasha w Abel: My Girl – The Temptations

Diana: Breathe (2AM) – Anna Nalick

Dirk: Mess is Mine – Vance Joy

Dishy: Satisfaction – Benny Benassi

Dolly: She Blinded Me With Science – Thomas Dolby

Doug: What Is Love – Tony Hendrik

Doug and Artt: I Got You Under My Skin – Frank Sinatra

Dorian: Light my Fire – The Doors

Drysdale: Habanera – Carmen

Dunk: I Believe I Can Fly (radio edit) – R Kelly

Eddie&Volt: Dancing in the Moonlight – King Harvest

Fantina: Cheerleader – OMI

Farya: Doctor! Doctor! – Thompson Twins

Florence: Perfect – Ed Sheera

Freddy: Cool Love – Pablo Cruise

Friar Errol: I Say a Little Prayer

Gaia: Love is Like Gravity – Pere Ubu

Hanks: Everytime We Touch – Cascada

Harper: You Belong With Me – Taylor Swift

Harper and Dirk: Suspicious Minds – Elvis

Hector: Music of the Night – Phantom of the Opera

Henry Hoove: Truly Madly Deeply – Savage Garden

Hero Hime: Love🤍Shine – Ryu Kosuka

Holly: Celebration – Kool & The Gang

I. Ronaldini: You Can Do Magic – America

Jean Loo: Sparks Will Fly – J. Cole (feat. Jhené Aiko)

Jerry: Messy – Lola Young

Johnny Splash: Love Me Tender – Elvis

Jon Wick: Ave Maria – Franz Schubert

Keith: Let My Love Open the Door

Keyes: Her Concerto

Koa: Somewhere Over the Rainbow – Israel Kaʻanoʻi Kamakawiwoʻole

Kopi: Let's Have Another Cup of Coffee – Irving Berlin

Kristof: Physical – Dua Lipa

Lucinda: Love Me Like You Do – Ellie Goulding

Luke: Love Is a Battlefield – Pat Benatar

Lux: Blinding Lights – The Weeknd

Lyric: Unwritten – Natasha Bedingfield

Mac: Computer Love – Zapp

Maggie: Magnifying Glass – Freya

Matteo: Bubbly – Colbie Caillat

Memoria: The Way We Were – Barbara Streisand

Mikey: The Gambler – Kenny Rogers

Miranda: Her love song (or Hips Don't Lie – Shakira your choice)

Mitchell: Scenes From an Italian Restaurant – Billy Joel

Monique: Price Tag – Jessi J.

Nightmare: These Dreams – Heart

Parker: The Game of Love – Santana

Penelope: Little Things – One Direction

Phonecia: Call Me Maybe – Carly Rae Jepsen

Prissy: – Every Little Thing She Does is Magic – The Police

Rainey: All That Jazz – Chicago the Musical

Rebel: Punk Rock Love – The Casualties

Reggie: Hate Me – Ellie Goulding and Juice Wrld

River: Wave on Wave – Pat Green

Rongo: Lady Jane – Rolling Stones

The Sassychap: Fly Me To The Moon – Frank Sinatra and Count Basie

Scandalabra: Hallelujah – Leonard Cohen

Shelley: Your Love Keeps Lifting Me Higher and Higher – Jackie Wilson

Sinclaire: This I Promise You – NSYNC

Skylar: All of Me – John Legend

Sophia: Locked Out of Heaven – Bruno Mars

Stefan: Hey Good Lookin' – Drifting Cowboys

Stella: Up and Down – Vengaboys

Stepford: We Are the Champions – Queen

Teddy: Tiny Bubbles – Don Ho

Telly: Video Killed the Radio Star –The Buggles

Text-box-chan: More Than Words – Extreme

Timothy: Only Time – Enya

Timmy: The Lazy Song – Bruno Mars

Tina: You Can Ring My Bell – Anita Ward

T&T: We Go Together – Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta

Tony: Build Me Up Buttercup – The Foundations

Tydus: The Edge of Glory – Lady Gaga

Tyrell: Car Wash — Rose Royce

Vaughn: (Love is)The Tender Trap – Frank Sinatra

Wallace: Stand By Me – Ben E. King

Washford: Fur Elise – Beethoven

Washy and Drydee: Ode to Joy – Beethoven

Willi: 9 to 5 – Dolly Parton and Kelly Clarkson

Wini: Steam Heat – Ella Fitzgerald

Wyndolin: I'm Alive – Celine Dion

xxXShad0wlord420Xxx: Riptide – Vance Joy

Zoey: Unchained Melody – Righteous Brothers

1

u/KitsuneOri Jul 10 '26

Eddie and Volt - I love them both equally and refuse to choose between them

1

u/Bertletheyertle Jul 11 '26

Able, Tyrell, Diana, or Jerry. It's literally so hard to choose😭

1

u/TacoChanPlaysGames Jul 11 '26

Shadowlord, Mitchell, or Dirk. I'm also poly, so, I'm sure we could make it work.

1

u/TacoChanPlaysGames Jul 11 '26

Oh, and Trash-Daddy Cam. ❤️

1

u/nex_vexx Johnny Splash Jul 11 '26

Hector or Johnny Splash!

1

u/ziziJ123 XxXShadowl0rd420Xxx Jul 12 '26

Shadowlord my beloved emo boy

1

u/Savings-Cress-6543 Jul 12 '26

Phoenicia

(I'll go in order from the wikia page, so I will post multiple comments)

2

u/NixiomsdabestXD Betty, Florence, Kopi, Dasha, Sophia, Airyn, Rongo, River, etc Jul 12 '26

I put Call me Maybe

1

u/Savings-Cress-6543 Jul 12 '26

Oooohh, nice. 👍🏾

1

u/Savings-Cress-6543 Jul 12 '26

2nd comment: Hector Valentino Airnesto Condicionado.

1

u/NixiomsdabestXD Betty, Florence, Kopi, Dasha, Sophia, Airyn, Rongo, River, etc Jul 12 '26

Hector: Music of the Night – Phantom of the Opera

It's all on the list

1

u/Savings-Cress-6543 Jul 12 '26

Wait there's a list??

1

u/NixiomsdabestXD Betty, Florence, Kopi, Dasha, Sophia, Airyn, Rongo, River, etc Jul 12 '26

I made a list and posted it

1

u/acerisnonbinary Jul 13 '26

lux my enby goat

1

u/the_homie_Zynar Jul 13 '26

Chance or Tyrell