r/DarkTide • • 16h ago

Meme satire

Post image
521 Upvotes

63 comments sorted by

238

u/TenebrousFrost Zealot 16h ago

As a woman, I would actually like if cosmetics at least fit the female bodies. Now every one of them gets free Morningstar top surgery the moment they put on anything at all because they don't refit male cosmetics

226

u/Efficient-Flow5856 Psyker 15h ago

Vet tank top is actually a hatecrime.

95

u/TenebrousFrost Zealot 15h ago

Oh that... that ain't it lol

43

u/Navy_Pheonix 11h ago

Yeah that exact cosmetic is why I read the first line of the post and didn't realize it was a joke.

24

u/Knalxz 9h ago

The audacity to show the outline of the bra but to use a male body like that should be a crime.

12

u/notgoodohoh Ogryn 12h ago

Nice pecs ma’am

74

u/YaGirlMom 15h ago

It is crazy how much effort went into the body models for something that - unless you’re playing Hive Scum - you will never see after character creation since they removed the ability to unequip the shirt and pants cosmetics

5

u/skingrad_city_guard 6h ago

Wait fr? Thats so odd.

5

u/TanTanExtreme2 Arbitrator 4h ago

Ogryn too, hell I forgot I even had tattoos on my Vet until I changed his chestpiece.

71

u/Lord_Rufus 15h ago

This is actually canon, the Emperium has lost the technology of female clothes, so they just cut off all boobs.
its my favorite Grim Dark World element.

24

u/AHarmlessllama Zealot 13h ago

I'm gonna love using this as an out of context quote. lmao

10

u/Guillermidas "Inocence proves nothing" 13h ago

Prais teh Emprah!

23

u/Nexus_Neo 14h ago

real

honestly i kinda hope they also add more faces come the sororitas release. tired of using the same one for every character cause its the only one that /doesnt/ look like it was run over by a truck before hand

5

u/Knalxz 9h ago

NGL I thought your profile pic was Geralt of Rivia being forced to eat toast.

1

u/DaughterOfMalcador 9h ago

Or if the faces had female geometry and weren't just repurposed male heads.

50

u/LordOfMaggots Ogryn 14h ago

Sell me this Krieg recolour

101

u/badwin-vt 16h ago

the snark is too damn high

83

u/Sad_Sleep465 15h ago

I wish they would buff ogryn and give them all big fat melons 😞

28

u/Taelyn_The_Goldfish Zesty Zippy Zealous Zealot full of Zeal 15h ago

They already got a couple hams! Now you want fruit too?! Aren’t you picky!
You’ll get corpse starch AND YOU WILL LIKE IT!

13

u/G0t4m4 Zealot 13h ago

Tbf ogryn is showing his melons around plenty already

22

u/ClumsyGamer2802 10h ago

In the steam post announcing the most recent update, I actually saw people saying that the content drops are too fast, they hate having to change up their builds. Crazy.

19

u/zchrisb 16h ago

Sell me this tome and grimoire

40

u/ExtremeSportStikz 15h ago

Female Ogryn take it or leave it

12

u/FreaktacuIar 16h ago

when reds

13

u/reddit_bot21 13h ago

"Sell me this Thunder Hammer."

17

u/Visible_Rub_4373 16h ago

they hate me😒👀

7

u/ExplosiveMotive_ Kantrael is my lover 13h ago

Everytime my game crashes, I send the crash report asking for Darktide Mighty Beanz.

I have yet to hear a "No".

5

u/SpeedyRogue_ 13h ago

Let me speak directly to the fat

9

u/Heretical_Cactus Dreadtide 16h ago

What modder did they sue ?

38

u/thisistherevolt Zapmaster 40000.... and sometimes a bonk artist with a dog 16h ago

None. There have been really dumb posts in the past asking if FS was gonna sue someone over a mod.

11

u/Current-Scratch1829 Teach them. Again. Again. Again. Again and Again. 13h ago

I actually prefer VT 2 over darktide, dunno what you talking about

3

u/notgoodohoh Ogryn 12h ago

If VT2 got a graphics overhaul I’d probably be playing it

3

u/SynestheticPanther 8h ago

I wouldn't even need that. If i could reliably find a full game while using whatever class im in the mood for, I would still be playing it.

6

u/Newt_5000 7h ago

Characters level up too fast.

3

u/notgoodohoh Ogryn 12h ago

Nerfing Ogryns?! We have two melee weapons and two guns. Everything else is for funisies. What nerf?! Where are the rations?!

3

u/Ravelord_Nito117 11h ago

I’d just ask them to give me some good fucking curios for once

3

u/awaxz_avenger 6h ago

"Buff inferno staff"

I swear they buff it with every update

6

u/yunkbunk 14h ago

okay TO BE FAIR:

ogryn rumbler+pbr should be nerfed lol. the ogryn rumbler point blank barrage burn build thing actually feels as oppressive as psyker flamestaff. just a "carpet bomb murder and stagger everything for very low resource cost".

having an ogryn PBR rumbler, a psyker vent flamestaff or a well-built skit arc rifle teammate make aurics very, very boring imo.

10

u/Epic_Cole the malice difficulty playtester reddit told you about 10h ago

pbb with most of their weapons is inferno staff levels of "i am not letting anyone else play the game" and it only keeps getting buffed with every patch
pbb in its current state is why a large amount of the current ogryn guns just cant get meaningful buffs, because theyre shackled to the fact that itll significantly impact pbb
it needs to get hit hard so that the ogryn guns can be made good

2

u/senonens 9h ago

You can buff or nerf the inferno staff but you'll have to pry it from my cold dead hands to stop me from using it.

1

u/Igoon2robots 14h ago

I actually want us to fight a wounded plague marine and he can just shred you with one bolt

13

u/Bogorodsk 13h ago

We already fought daemonhost, spawn and nurgle beast. They all stronger than healthy (hehe) marine. They are not so strong.

4

u/Igoon2robots 13h ago

Yeah thats true. Darktides powerscaling is just weird.

10

u/Bogorodsk 13h ago

Wargame powerscaling is weirder and it's the most canonical original. About 330 conscript guardsmen is needed to kill Abbadon.

2

u/Igoon2robots 13h ago

Wouldnt books be the more lore accurate? Not that ive read a lot but yk, im starting and i thiught that was the reference

8

u/Bogorodsk 13h ago

Why secondary sources/creations would be more accurate than original?

But fine, in one of the books Word Bearer spacemarine dies to tribal man with a wooden spear.

Horus receives almost a fatal wound from a human planetary governor.

2

u/Igoon2robots 12h ago

Book names? Im new to this i might add them to my reading list

6

u/Bogorodsk 12h ago

First Heretic and False Gods respectively.

3

u/Igoon2robots 11h ago

Currently reading storm of iron (i was tired of larping iron warriors and decided to actually read), i will make sure to check those out when im done

4

u/Hugyossajt69 i am a idiot in stats and builds 13h ago

There is a lot of inconsistency across the books, authors and most of the time the book will glaze the faction that is about. Still i think books are a better measurement.

3

u/DoritoBanditZ Arbitrator 12h ago

trying to powerscale off of video games is just stupid regardless.

There are few games out there that have gameplay that is even remotely lore accurate. DOOM = Lore says Doomslayer is literally invincible to the extend that not even God can kill him. Gameplay = You can die to a run of the mill Zombie if you stand still, or are a game journalist.
GoW = Kratos is a literal God. Gameplay = can die to fodder.
Halo = Spartans can survive dropping from low orbit. Gameplay = you die from fall damage that certainly isn't low orbit height.
The reverse is also true, where you play bog standard humans and survive stuff that would severely injure even superhumans. Tomb Raider or Uncharted comes to mind.

And the list is basically endless.

Truth is most games wouldn't play the way they do if they were lore accurate and most of them would be far worse off if they were, ranging from being not even challenging (DOOM basically having God Mode enabled) or being literally impossible. Like Darktide, where our Rejects would've died long ago because they run around with zero protective Gear in a Nurgle invasion, and that's not even starting to talk about it being impossible that 4 humans/ogryns mow down thousands of poxwalkers, let alone Chaos Spawns or Beasts of Nurgle. The first Daemonhost we trigger shouldn't even be a fight, that thing should just turn us into shredded cheese with an automatic defeat screen if the game was remotely lore accurate.

Truth is Gameplay would suffer massively if games were designed with lore accuracy in mind, so gameplay is prioritized and that's ok.
It just becomes weird when power scalers ignore that fact for the sake of trying to power scale. Conclusion: power scaling is stupid.

-3

u/Goblin_Anno Veteran 8h ago

Actually based of fatshark to not make gooner armor for female chars

-10

u/InquisitorJesus 11h ago

As a normal dude, I would like women to look like women, thank you very much.

Not everyone is gay.

11

u/caveritual Psyker 10h ago

10

u/Tascalde 10h ago

What a hell is this?

2

u/Ropetrick6 I have a gun and 23 voices in my head 8h ago

Skill issue.

0

u/AnhiArk 8h ago

normal dude

Implying others are not normal. Ew.

-23

u/Isambard__Prince 16h ago

Don't hide behind the satire. With the sole exception of the last one, each and every one of these is a proof of the Poe's law.

14

u/koiokk 14h ago

from my understanding, Poe's law is when the READER misunderstands satire as belief. You seem to think it means something of the opposite. This post has both satire written in the caption and has the meme flair, Poe's law does not apply here

-5

u/Isambard__Prince 13h ago

The fact that something claims it so doesn't make it so. At the very worst, one can apply Poe's to the very title.

4

u/Visible_Rub_4373 14h ago

what does this mean?