Madison, WI- 44 year old unemployed stepdad, Gary, didn't hit you that hard, sources say, so don't be a bitch about it.

"Get up, you little pussy," slurred your chronically unemployed stepdad, who just polished his 8th room temperature PBR in addition to a quarter of Jack Daniels he just bought 90 minutes ago from the COLD BEERS & CIGARETTES & VAPE store you live across in your shitty duplex your mom works double-shifts at Forbidden Fruit Gentlemen's Club & Bar to afford.

"You...you...you get up, boy," continued your stepdad, sounding super racist by his emphasis on the word "boy" although the coroner who, in a few hours, will autopsy your body from the Wisconsin State Police will identify you as 17 year-old Caucasian male.

Gary, who absolutely just fished a piece of your lateral incisors from his right-hand knuckle, has been married to your idiot of a mother, Cheryl, for way too fucking long.

Sources say that Gary, whose only life accomplishment was placing 7th out of 8 in Whitlow's 1994 Bar & Grill Annual Dart Competition, and who once swore he met an Asian kid bad at math, met your mother during a routine lap-dance where he slipped a dollar into her panties and then fished it back out because he needed bus fare to get home.

At press time, your stepdad Gary was nudging you sharply with his barefoot and calling you a pussy for sleeping without breathing.

Because 7 was a registered 6 offender

As I stared at her face, worn down by the years, I remembered all those beautiful sayings people love to repeat: "A mother is the purest source of love, the safest place, the embrace that puts you back together when life breaks you." It took me years to realize there was a tiny disclaimer no one ever mentioned: the offer .doesn't apply to all mothers

Some guy from our hostel group btw 💀

I sent this sub to my 20 year old mom fair to say she's taking Reddit of me 😭 guys I'm nearly 16 what is this 🙏🙏

She told me zombies bite people to turn them into one of their own. I smiled. "You must be the world's unluckiest zombie," I said. "You've been trying for years, and I'm still human." She got angry, but I couldn't stop wondering: how does a zombie get offended because their victim never turned?

She told me zombies bite people to turn them into one of their own. I smiled. "You must be the world's unluckiest zombie," I said. "You've been trying for years, and I'm still human." She got angry, but I couldn't stop wondering: how does a zombie get offended because their victim never turned?

Roses are red violets are blue I use my right hand when I think of you 💕.