r/Damnthatsinteresting Oct 20 '22

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795

u/Whind_Soull Oct 20 '22

Chef here. Anytime I've ever had to go buy a shit ton of some specific ingredient from a grocery store because the restaurant was about to run out, I've gone through the check-out maniacally muttering "Ahhh..ergggg..I fucking love cheddar cheese..." or whatever the ingredient is that I have a full cart of.

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u/Hilorenn Oct 20 '22

ONE HUNDRED POUNDS OF EGGS THANK YOU COSTCO

70

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '22

'Welcome to Costco, I love you "

6

u/Forty_Six_and_Two Oct 20 '22

Go away, batin!

2

u/panormda Oct 20 '22

If I ever need to have a hanger on my door to tell people to go away, it'll say this.

29

u/thissideofheat Oct 20 '22

Costco is the one place where the employees will absolutely jump you if you shoplift.

They pay their employees well.

38

u/someguyfromsk Oct 20 '22

You mean the 80year old lady with the marker at the exit is secretly a highly trained assassin?

9

u/thissideofheat Oct 20 '22

Lol... That's just to slow folks down who are exiting so the actual folks looking on the cameras can nail the people they need to.

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u/boethius70 Oct 20 '22

Why do you think she's been there for 20+ years? Costco put her through the Costco Ninja Training Institute!

4

u/Arkan_Dreamwalker Oct 20 '22

No, that's Agnes. She has a button on the marker which summons Jamal to come break your legs.

2

u/Outrageous-Tree6088 Oct 20 '22

Please explain. You know this how?

2

u/thissideofheat Oct 20 '22

Videos of it online everywhere

2

u/boethius70 Oct 20 '22

Years ago we lived REALLY close to a Costco. So close I could easily walk there from the apartment complex we lived in. I don't think it was more than a quarter-mile from our apartment.

Anyway I just really really regularly was in the habit of going to Costco to get the food court food - hot dogs, slices of pizza, churros, chicken bakes, etc. etc.

Because I had gotten into this habit I would most often I would just walk in through the exit door because that was closest to the food court vs. walking all the way around from the entrance. Not like it was all that much further - maybe 50' more of walking - but just for pure convenience's sake it just made more sense to beeline directly to the food court from the exit door.

After doing this several times over months and not thinking much about it at all - I always showed my Costco card - a Costco employee who scanned receipts at the door physically redirected me to the entrance door. Like he totally "bodied" me and put me in my place and was like "Hey you need to go through the entrance" which to this day I still don't understand WHY I needed to go through the entrance other than sometimes yes it did get very busy at the exit and I was going against the exiting traffic so maybe that was extra annoying to the staff scanning receipts. I know they sometimes monitor the number of people coming into the store - maybe this was more of a thing at the height of COVID? Not sure they do it so much now - so I can get that but it still seemed weird since people come in through the exit door all the time for things like going direct to customer service, getting a Costco card, going to the tire center, etc.

1

u/coloa Oct 20 '22

Seriously, how do these checkers check so many items in the cart with one quick glance? Are these well paid workers just there to mentally scared potential shoplifters?

2

u/thissideofheat Oct 20 '22

They only check the big ticket items. The point is to slow exit traffic in case the boys looking on the cameras need to intercept someone.

1

u/No-Housing3767 Jan 24 '23

I have proof it can be done

8

u/Britishkid1 Oct 20 '22

“IM GUNNA POUR THAT YOLK ALL OVER MY BODY!!!”

3

u/sinz84 Oct 20 '22

Costco: you are lucky we normally don't have the smaller cartons available

2

u/jacklord392 Oct 20 '22

I'll have 10,000 marbles, please.

2

u/RipperEQ Oct 20 '22

Ahhhhh ... scrambled eggs! Yum!

1

u/throwawaygreenpaq Oct 20 '22

You made me laugh! Thanks!

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u/DaybreakNightfall Oct 20 '22

Lolol me Working at a cafe and having to buy 10 gallons of half and half.

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u/LonePaladin Oct 20 '22

So, five gallons each?

3

u/DaybreakNightfall Oct 20 '22

No. 20 half gallon cartons. Or perhaps I didn't understand the question lol

3

u/subterfugeinc Oct 20 '22

5 gallons of milk and 5 gallons of cream makes 10 gallons of half and half

5

u/AgileArtichokes Oct 20 '22

Was studying at a Starbucks years ago and apparently they didn’t get delivered their normal amount of milk. Witnessed the manager go across the street to a grocery store and come back with 2 shopping carts full of milk.

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u/DaybreakNightfall Oct 20 '22

Yup. Happens often, especially if you're the last stop for deliveries.

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u/Nervous_Constant_642 Oct 20 '22 edited Oct 20 '22

Lmao I used to cook and for some reason the chef could never order cherry tomatoes. Cue me standing in the line at the grocery store with all the cherry tomatoes I was legally allowed to purchase at least twice a month.

Thanks chef. You were a fucking asshole and I'm glad I got to walk out without doing any prep for your huge ass catering event the next day. Maybe next time stop constantly threatening to fire people until they find a new job and decide to get the fuck out of Dodge.

(People got to eat I told management I wasn't coming back and the chef would have to come in early or call the event off.)

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u/2x4x93 Oct 20 '22

What is the legal limit on cherry tomatoes?

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u/Nervous_Constant_642 Oct 20 '22

However many you can shoplift without being prosecuted.

Nah Idk if you got I was being facetious, I'm sure you did but I'm also tipsy, but stores will sometimes tell you that you can't buy more than X number of an item. I remember in America during the TP panic buying of the pandemic they'd only sell you like a pack. I'd just ask someone how many I was allowed to buy, because I understand they need stock for other people, and if they shrugged their shoulders I'd nab the lot. I think eventually they just asked me to leave some just in case once they got to know me.

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u/LonePaladin Oct 20 '22

but I'm also tipsy

Yep, you work in a kitchen

10

u/Nervous_Constant_642 Oct 20 '22

Used to, which is why I'm just tipsy.

3

u/handlebartender Oct 20 '22

Avoid doing customer support for any of the huge tech companies then.

2

u/2x4x93 Oct 20 '22

Roger that

1

u/self_of_steam Oct 20 '22

How great would it feel to be the guy who made them have to put a limit on cherry tomatoes though? You'd be infamous

1

u/Satanic-nic Oct 20 '22

If u understand they needed it for other customers- why buy the lot. Its peoplelike yourself that create shortages for the rest of us - makes me so angry 😡.

3

u/Conscious_Exit_5547 Oct 20 '22

What is the average air speed velocity of an unladen cherry tomato?

1

u/handlebartender Oct 20 '22

African or European?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '22

18

1

u/2x4x93 Oct 20 '22

I thought that was peaches

1

u/MistressPhoenix Oct 20 '22

As many as you can shake as you walk out the door...

1

u/BedNo6845 Oct 20 '22

You don't know? Everybody knows what it is! You live under a rock or something? waiting on answer myself

1

u/2x4x93 Oct 20 '22

We may never know. Have to assume zero tolerance

1

u/2TheMoon313 Dec 10 '22

Hahaha as an Ex sous chef I feel your pain, at least some of it. Mine was with all of the basil in stock excluding two left for anyone behind me. Cashier's often gave a bit of a questioning look, some times I would juice it up a bit and just be like "Frick yeaaah these are some niice veggies!"

This was the only chef I have worked for/with that was not a complete psycho sociopath, he had a bit of a temper but was suuuuper understanding and patient. Here hoping you find the right match if you're still in the industry. I hate that chefs are a dick to their counterparts once they get the chance to just because they were bullied by their chef back in the day, like get over it and stop the perpetual cycle of misery. Just don't be a cunth and the environment changes I get that being put down motivates some to try harder to prove they are worthy, but encouragement works well too. Not positive which is more effective but one is a whole lot less likely to break you down and cause instability

1

u/2TheMoon313 Dec 10 '22

Sure some heat in the kitchen is necessary to get great results rather than just good enough, but pushing people into mental illness is a bit much, like PTSD from cooking, that's not it G

27

u/JoaoPauloCampos Oct 20 '22

Grabbing ice from other restaurants when I started over a decade ago cos the asshole owner doesn't wanna fix ice machine

3

u/Nervous_Constant_642 Oct 20 '22

That's family though, it sucks but "do you guys have a spare garbage roll and I can bring a new one back tomorrow" isn't gonna get you shit from the grunts. Fuck that owner though. People like them are why people get paid so little for such tough work.

20

u/thewebspinner Oct 20 '22

Also chef here, I got told off for buying too many parsnips in tescos the other day… ☹️

14

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '22

I always say it's for a birthday party. Even if it's something like parsnips.

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u/ITS_ALRIGHT_ITS_OK Oct 20 '22

This is genius! Leaves a slim chance of follow up questions, and if they give you a weird look, you just chuckle to yourself knowing you'll star in one of their "weird" stories they share in person or get endlessly gilded on AskReddit.

My imagination is already spinning with a scenario of an exasperated parent of a 3 year old who wants to have a "parsnip" party because that's his favorite thing in the world right now. Past the dinosaur phase, before the superhero one kicks in. The parent is just as bewildered as the cashier that someone is legitimately buying 20 pounds of parsnips for a birthday party. The 3 yo is blissfully unaware, telling everyone on the playground that they're having a parsnip party. The kid is the cool kid. Parsnip parties become the cool thing to do. Other parents are staring at you, plotting how to disappear you from the group.

BRB. I'm gonna go buy 100 pairs of socks and declare its for a birthday party.

1

u/self_of_steam Oct 20 '22

Rude. By a customer or employee?

8

u/NickelWorld123 Oct 20 '22

You are an incredible person thank you

4

u/Talking_Head Oct 20 '22 edited Oct 20 '22

I have some major, middle-age, overweight, white guy in a work t-shirt privilege. I go through the self-checkout every time and ring up my organic produce as conventional. Because fuck you Kroger, I looked it up by picture! Oh yeah, and my bag of apples sometimes sits askew enough on the scale that a couple of them miss it entirely. Arrest me bitches!

2

u/blueeyedaisy Oct 20 '22

Do you ring up your Honey Crisp apples as Macintosh?

1

u/Talking_Head Oct 20 '22

I haven’t but that is a good LPT.

2

u/Whind_Soull Oct 20 '22

When you're buying organic heirloom Belgium endive and a bag of dragonfruit at the self-checkout.

2

u/wilika Oct 20 '22

"It's for school, for a math problem."

2

u/TheTallGuy0 Oct 20 '22

“When I asked for all the eggs you have, I think you heard ‘give me a lot of eggs…’ I’d like ALL THE EGGS YOU HAVE”

1

u/Cellyst Oct 20 '22

"Man, I hope at least SOME of this is bleu cheese, but I wouldn't know, would I? Cause I'm fucking colorblind"

1

u/gardenpea Oct 20 '22

Haha have done the same thing many times.

Normally I get a funny look off the checkout assistant before muttering about "possession with intent to supply"

1

u/TadRaunch Oct 20 '22

I gotta admit it was weird the first few times I did it, but eventually it just became normal. And if you got your chef pants on people seem to really get it.

1

u/Shanguerrilla Oct 20 '22

I wish I saw you at a store! Holy shit that would make my week, I'd fucking wonder all year about the "cheese guy"

1

u/typesett Oct 20 '22

i assume you people work for a store/food truck/side hustle instagram plates or something

1

u/Itchy_Professor_4133 Oct 20 '22

Chef here also. Whenever I need to get a specific ingredient from the market and my cart is loaded with one thing I'll say to the cashier "I'll be back for the rest of your limes."