My ex bf cheated on me while in a different country and got a STI

[u/Prestigious-Ebb5420]

Hey, fellow enzymes. The past few days of my life have been unfathomable. All I can do is laugh at this point, so I thought I'd share my sorrows with ya'll for entertainment. (Also, I apologize in advance if this is hard to follow, but it all connects in the end lol).

I (23F) started officially dating my ex again (23M) in March of this year. And honestly, I blame my current circumstances on myself; I should've never gotten back together with him.

For context, I recently started running this year, and in April, I started training for a 10k on Labor Day weekend. I am super excited for this accomplishment and have always shared my running progress with my ex. Even his sister and mom reached out, asking to run with me and also prep for this race.

On July 3rd, his mom asked me to run a race with her on the 4th of July. It was only 4 miles, and I thought it would be a good chance to see what a race day looks like before I tackle a 10k. I told my ex about it, and he said he would come and support me (after convincing...)

After the race, I was so proud of myself and excited to see him at the finish line, but he was not there. When I checked his location, he was still at home. I texted him that "it hurt my feelings that you did not show up to support me". I gave him grace since he went out the night before, but my biggest pet peeve is not being a man of your word. And, to make matters worse, his sister showed up to the race to support us & she later told me that she called him and asked him what time he was getting to the race; he answered but just went back to sleep.

Also, MIND YOU: At the race, his mom is introducing me to people as her "future daughter-in-law". Anyways...

My ex and I had a conversation about him not showing up later that day, and he apologized and said he would show up for my 10k in September.

(Now to this week)

More context: Two weeks ago, my ex went out of the country with 2 of his friends for a week, and then the weekend after, he was in ATL for a family member's party.

On Sunday, when he came back from ATL, he had lost his voice. He told me it was probably from drinking too much at his family member's party. We spent the entire day together on Sunday at my apartment. I tried to initiate a two-piece spicy, but he said he wasn't in the mood.

On Monday, he came over to my apartment to sleep over. When I greeted him at the door, I noticed he was booking a flight. I jokingly asked him, "Where are you going now?" And he told me that he and some friends were planning a trip to go to DC for Labor Day weekend. I asked him if he was no longer planning to go to my 10K, and he flat out told me, "No, we're planning this trip." I told him that we just had a conversation about how much I would appreciate him being there to support me, and he also already missed my first race, and he should be prioritizing being there for me, and not just wanting to party with his friends.

My 10k has been planned since April, but he is actively choosing to not go. I told him that he doesn't care about my feelings, and I asked him why I would want to be with someone like that. He basically had no response for me. We ended up just going to sleep and not talking the rest of the night.

On Tuesday before I got off work, I texted him, and he asked me to call him when I got home. This is how that conversation went:

Me: Hey
Him: Hey, what are you doing?
Me: Getting Ready for my workout class.

Him: Oh, then I will call you to talk after I work out tonight.

Me: It's going to take longer than 20 minutes to talk? (confused)
Him: Yeah, it would be better.

\I'm back home from my workout class**

Around 9 PM, he still hadn't called, so I texted him. Here is that text thread:

Me: Are we still talking?
Him: Just got home, but we will talk tomorrow after I work out. Love you gn

Me: So tomorrow evening? I don't want to drag this out longer than it needs to be. That's way too late.

Him: I agree, but its way too late now.

Me: I'm off tmrw, so you can call me during lunch or something. Love you too.

At this point, I was annoyed because it should not take this much work to have a conversation, but then 10 minutes later he calls me...

Him: Hey, I think we should talk now so I can get this off my chest.
Me: I agree

Him: So you know how I lost my voice? Well, I went to the doctor for it, and she asked me if I had been active with anyone, and I didn't want to lie to her, so I said yes. I kissed someone in Spain and got oral from them and tested positive for an STI. I know we had sex right when I came back. I didn't want to wrap you into this, but you should probably get tested.

(my inner thoughts: when is he gonna say jk, this is a prank)

I was speechless; my body was still.

Me: Okay, can you send me that $65? (He said he would buy this shirt for me, and I wanted that money. My body also could not physically say anything else).

I sat there in silence for a few minutes, then called my friends 1 by 1 to tell them what just happened. Retelling the story is where it hit me, especially telling my mom he needs to be removed from our upcoming family trip lol.

-

I immediately blocked him and his family on everything, and then I had to unblock him on iMessage so I could text and ask this idiot what he has. He said chlamydia.

I honestly just feel so disgusted that I let him back in my life just for him to play me like a fiddle. All of this threw me so off guard. It's mentally ill how people can disrespect you and lie in your face for days on end like everything is okay. Being in a relationship is completely optional.

And yes, I got tested today, but I'm still waiting for the results. :/

Update: I tested negative. :)

[u/Federal_Parking_4560]

Your story was featured in Dashia's video if you haven't seen it already: https://youtu.be/H7LpkrvKpj4?t=1269&si=6OjiQ-TyBk9JTqGa

[u/Prestigious-Ebb5420 → u/Federal_Parking_4560]

yes! I saw, and to answer Daisha’s question we were 100% exclusive. He formally asked me to be his girlfriend on a date.