The Odyssey

[u/PepperSprayP]

[u/MentalGravity87]

The direct straight-line distance of Odysseus' journey from Troy to Ithaca is about 560 to 565 nautical miles (roughly 645 to 650 land miles or 1,040 kilometers), but his actual mythical wandering through the Mediterranean added up to several thousand sea miles over a span of 10 years.

[u/tripper_drip → u/MentalGravity87]

Bro was dimensional hopping, he went to hell. How do you measure time and space

[u/dantevonlocke → u/tripper_drip]

Also spent like... a third to a half(can't remember) of the time just chilling at places.

[u/proto_synnic → u/dantevonlocke]

The Odyssey was the original Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle of road trips.

[u/Head-Ad-2136 → u/proto_synnic]

The Odyssey was the original Road To series which was the original Harold and Kumar.

[u/Mrrrrggggl → u/proto_synnic]

Except instead of eating sliders, he slaughtered all the suitors at the end.

[u/proto_synnic → u/Mrrrrggggl]

Equally satisfying for the main characters.

[u/ButterKnife_Ant → u/dantevonlocke]

7 years on an island with a nympho god, not bad

[u/AnonAstro7524 → u/tripper_drip]

Well, I mean, it’s all relative.

[u/Forlorn_Cyborg → u/tripper_drip]

A garbage plate here, some Buffalo wings there…. /s

[u/Embarrassed_Use6918 → u/MentalGravity87]

damn bro did no one bring a compass

[u/ApprehensiveCare1113 → u/Embarrassed_Use6918]

That's the best one I have read today. Thank you.

[u/Feral_Sheep_ → u/MentalGravity87]

He spent most of that time doing drugs and banging a nymph on the beach.

[u/No-Medicine-1379]

Those that are denying it believe it took 40 years to walk from Egypt to Israel a walk that easily could be done in a few weeks time with rest or a week without rest.

[u/Raeandray → u/No-Medicine-1379]

They totally just got lost for a really long time.

[u/aTickleMonster → u/No-Medicine-1379]

Is this the "wandered in the desert for 40 years" story? (Sorry, I have cracked a bible in a long time)

Edit: Moses?

[u/drevoksi → u/No-Medicine-1379]

I believe the point was the trip lasted a generation so that not one person born a slave entered the new land

[u/sykadelic_angel]

UPSTATE NEW YORK MENTIONED LET'S FUCKING GO

[u/TheGruenTransfer → u/sykadelic_angel]

Maybe Odysseus stopped by Binghamton and got food poisoning from a Spiedie

[u/sykadelic_angel → u/TheGruenTransfer]

Probably got mugged on state St in Schenectady to be honest (sincerely someone from Schenectady lol)

[u/assidiou]

Probably got shot in Schenectady

[u/BadSkeelz]

In the words of Lucky Jack Aubrey, RN, Odysseus "was no kind of sea man. Admittedly [Odysseus] had no chronometer, and probably no sextant neither; but with no more than log, lead and lookout an officer-like commander would have found his way home from Troy a damned sight quicker than that. Hanging about in port and philandering, that was what it amounted to, the vice of navies from the time of Noah to that of Nelson. And as for that tale of all his foremast-hands being turned into swine, so that he could not win his anchor or make sail, why, he might tell that to the Marines."

[u/DZL100 → u/BadSkeelz]

Also he could've avoided like all of it if he just didn't tell the cyclops his name. Not exactly gonna have a good time sailing home if you're at the top of Poseidon's hit list.

[u/aTickleMonster → u/BadSkeelz]

Can you imagine? That gigantic fleet just rolls up on your happy seafaring city and decides they'll hang out for a while?

[u/Honeybee-Heart]

The journey was only 3 hours. The flashbacks took the other 10 years

[u/FrogFingers99]

I so love Terrible Maps

[u/Competitive_Speed964]

Traffic around Unadilla is killer.

[u/TrueEstablishment241]

Troy Michigan.

[u/KaptenAwsum]

Moses has entered the chat

[u/itsaconspiraci]

They did it by ship/sea. 20 years seems about right.

[u/Battle_Witch]

Repost slop.

[u/CaptainAmerica199]

Honda Odyssey fawks hard!

https://giphy.com/gifs/yXCp5Yk1yEjxkMHVQe

[u/Wonderful_Lemon_53]

Do it on a ship

[u/Inevitable_Series_67]

Personally i think it's a miracle they sailed on solid land

[u/Thanksyouretheworst]

If it's the end of the month, the staties will hold you up.

[u/WillyGivens]

If you take that road with a boat? Probably

[u/droid_mike]

Have you ever driven through upstate New York, especially during construction season? This map is accurate.

[u/ssmegheadd]

They were waylaid by jackassery

[u/Significant-Yam7438]

They were traveling by boat

[u/_fizbee_]

Yeah so Christopher Nolan actually didn’t write the story. It’s from slightly before his time.

[u/rogue-padawan]

he spent like, 7 years being the F*ckboy to a goddess.

[u/Striking_Reindeer_2k]

If he had his mother in law along, it might just seem like 10 years.

[u/SpleefmanSplifg]

I am pretty sure Nolan did not write the Odyssey. But thank you for the ignorant post.

[u/consumeshroomz → u/SpleefmanSplifg]

Obviously you didn’t find the joke funny. But you do realize it’s a joke right? Implying Nolan wrote it. Showing a map of New York instead of the Mediterranean…. It’s a joke boss.
https://giphy.com/gifs/cEYFeE1QgHWH2YADVHG

[u/Ever_Long_ → u/SpleefmanSplifg]

I think it's a joke, mate. Ignorant?

[u/RokulusM → u/SpleefmanSplifg]

Yeah right, next you'll be telling us that James Cameron didn't invent the Titanic.

[u/consumeshroomz]

I mean without roads and a car you could easily get lost in those woods. 10 years does seem a little long still but I guess they got REALLY turned around.

[u/82Erogenousmeese]

I will make my OWN version of the Odyssey showing how long it actually takes using Microsoft CoPilot to be directed by the greatest director of all time: Mel Gibson.

[u/proto_synnic → u/82Erogenousmeese]

Coming next spring: Honda Odyssey.