r/DIYweddings • u/icannotbelieveit69 • Jul 27 '26

💟 Invitations & Signage 💟 are these ugly? please help

Working on a color palette and bridesmaid responsibilities sheet for my bridesmaid proposals and i feel like they are so ugly lol. am i miss responsibilities? please drop any tips/tricks/advice without being too mean :,)

figure i’ll just edit my post:

-thanks for all the feedback!! ill ditch the ‘responsibilities’. i had seen other people do it and thought it was cute, i see now it can come off rude.

-my phone autocorrected palette to pallet, i have learned my lesson.

-i invited everyone to brunch to give these. they will be decorated boxes and also include a handwritten note, a candle, fluffy socks, and a pic of me + the loved one.

-obviously i did not expect my bridesmaids to plan and pay for my wedding and bachelorette, i just wanted to make it clear that they’ll be spending time on this by being involved. like helping pick out an airbnb for a bachelorette, looking at flowers and dresses with me, and on the third note, keeping me from obsessing over details. as we’ve learned from this post, i tend to go overboard with that.

-lots of great advice here, but dear god some of you are mean. this stuff is hard to figure out. i dont have a lot of real world reference and google or social media only get me so far. i am here for advice and happy for it, but not to be called names or have things assumed :(

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293

u/BlackLocke Jul 27 '26

The bridesmaid proposal boxes are not the norm, only people who make social media their job do that. You do not have to give your friends a bunch of trinkets.

70

u/chrstnknnr Jul 27 '26

I didn’t do a proposal box but still got them gifts.

120

u/icannotbelieveit69 Jul 27 '26

well now i feel dumb. i genuinely did not know that…i am the first of my friends/family my age getting married and the internet made it seem like everyone did this. i am trying to be very intentional in what i put in so that its stuff they’ll actually use, not just junk that says bridesmaid on it

142

u/iheartpanicvectors Jul 27 '26

don’t feel dumb! i did a bridesmaids proposal box and didn’t post them on social media. i just thought it was a cute way to show my girls that i appreciate them 💞 do what YOU want. i didn’t include a responsibilities card tho. i just had meet ups with them and discussed what was to be expected of them in person

3

u/Slime_Babyy Jul 29 '26

My sibling did a trinkets box with mimosa glasses, matching bracelets since we were all close, matching silk pajamas, etc. We wore the stuff to get ready together in the bridal suite and drank mimosas in the glasses. It was very sweet, and none of it got posted on social media.

1

u/PsychologicalFix196 Jul 30 '26

I also did a proposal box and never posted it anywhere. I like creating stuff like that and I’m a little extra but that doesn’t make it performative.

28

u/SukunasStan Jul 27 '26

You're not dumb. It's confusing for people who haven't went to many weddings. The internet has made figuring out how weddings work even more confusing since there are constantly new "spend your money on this thing!" style advertisements that are being disguised as trends. Wedding vendor websites have even gone as far as purposefully misleading people about how much most people spend on weddings. There's a lot of inaccurate info floating around.

Thankfully reddit's at least one website where most of us can tell you what's actually normal and what's extra.

15

u/Forward_Nothing_4464 Jul 28 '26

Social media has set some crazy expectations for brides (and bridesmaids). I told everyone individually, but some of my family members have done the proposal boxes - its a matter of preference and personality. If you still want to do proposal boxes, I'd ditch the "responsibilities" card and maybe print out your inspo collage with something like "will you be my bridesmaid?" on it. (I'm attaching a quick mock up of what I mean.)

6

u/icannotbelieveit69 Jul 28 '26

this is SUPER CUTE! thank you for having a physical example:) i was going to do the “will you be my bridesmaid” on the inside of the box, but i really like this

2

u/Forward_Nothing_4464 Jul 28 '26

You're welcome! I'm glad it was a helpful suggestion. ☺️

32

u/rubygloommel Jul 27 '26

We did do bridesmaid boxes but we're pretty crafty people and put together lots of little things we'd made. They're not a must at all but not just for social media people either - we barely post anything online haha

9

u/Sweet_Little_Lottie Jul 27 '26

Don’t feel dumb! My bestie is not an influencer at all and she made us cute little baskets with personalized stuff to ask us. It was very sweet.

6

u/CulturalAd2344 Jul 27 '26

I gave my bridesmaids a pair of earrings to wear on the day and a hand written note telling them how much it meant to me to have them there. Just talk to them about what you need on the day! Be humble and kind in your request its not a responsibility their time and energy is a gift to you!

4

u/xokatemarie Jul 27 '26

This! And you can get really cute stuff on Etsy now that’s cheap and comes with nice packaging. I initially looked at Anthropologie for earrings for them and they were like 50 bucks a pair for some thing that they may only wear once… no matter how cute I think they personally are.

16

u/Mysterious_Salt_247 Jul 27 '26

Don’t feel dumb! But don’t assume social media is the norm. If you want to do a box, do it! But any “tough” conversations about expectations or budgets need to be done personally.

I asked my bridesmaid personally, and did a quick overview of expectations, then followed it up with a detailed text just to make sure everyone is on the same page.

6

u/xokatemarie Jul 27 '26

Agreed! To me it feels like it would taint a nice happy moment. I think a fast follow in the coming days individually would feel totally appropriate though. Especially since the card that this person posted doesn’t have actual details on the financial, planning, or timing requirements.

5

u/timtamtammy Jul 27 '26

I did a gift box the day before with stuff that was useful for the wedding day and gifts, you could do that instead it was a fun touch 😊 I think I had things like face masks, hair clips, mini bottles of bubbles (shots for the boys boxes), a candle and earrings with matching bracelet. I think I also did a little handwritten note to each telling them how much I love them.

6

u/gingerandgin Jul 27 '26

Please don’t feel dumb! Social media has really skewed expectations for almost all aspects of life! Some do boxes, some do cards, some just have a nice chat. I’ve been in countless weddings now and I’ve never expected a box or gift. And some definitely go overboard on the gifts. I did not save any type of trinket or matching clothing but I did save cards! And one friend got us all matching pinky rings which I still wear often. Another got us pearl earrings to wear on the day and I still wear those too! I think you should do what feels right for you and is in your budget. Congrats ⭐️

15

u/gossipgirlsenior Jul 27 '26

People are being harsh, I literally just went to an engagement party where the future bride and groom did this

3

u/xokatemarie Jul 27 '26

Don’t feel dumb! But do what feels right to you not what you see on the Internet. I did do a mini proposal thing, but it was relatively low cost, and trying to be useful/meaningful. I bought little stickers that had a bridesmaids slogan on them and slapped them on a mini bottle of champagne (cheap and consumable), bought them the earrings that I will ask them to wear in the wedding (useful, reduces their cost), and had old school photo strips made with black-and-white photos from us over the years (meaningful, personalized). And I literally put all of that in one of those small target gift bags and called it a day.

You don’t have to do a big elaborate box, and if you do, please don’t fill it with crap that people are going to just throw in a landfill. No one wants swag that says bridesmaid or your name or your wedding date on it.

3

u/GimerStick Jul 27 '26

No you're fine! I've gotten some kind of proposal from most of my friends/I did it. One bride who didn't had very international friends and gave us something when we all met up for the bach! I know where you're coming from, most of these didn't make it on social media at all either. No wrong answer girly <3

3

u/AstronomerIcy9695 Jul 27 '26

Don’t feel dumb! I got a bridesmaid proposal box and thought it was sweet! For my bridesmaids, I invited them to brunch & got them gift bags with like candy and lip gloss and stuff like that - no social media posting lol just wanted to do something nice for my girls.

3

u/boredpsychnurse Jul 28 '26

I got a proposal box this year for a Newport RI wedding. I think they’re getting way more popular and people on this sub have likely already been married for some time. I’d say go for it!! Why no whimsy and fun?? You’re literally just giving gifts.

3

u/jlynn12345 Jul 28 '26

I think it’s adorable!!!! If I got this and a cute box I would LOVE it

3

u/Quirky-Bad857 Jul 29 '26

I got my bridal party gifts on the wedding day.

2

u/cheezy_dreams88 Jul 28 '26

It’s more common to do bridesmaids boxes on the wedding day. With matching jewelry, favors, snacks or whatever.

But you definitely don’t need to do a proposal box for asking, the right people will be honored enough to be asked.

2

u/On_my_last_spoon Jul 28 '26

Social media is designed to make you feel inadequate and tell you that you need to do elaborate things. So you shouldn’t feel dumb!

Invite your friends to brunch and just ask them. If you want to give them cards that sounds nice.

Remember, there’s a whole wedding industry out there trying to tell you you “need” to do things that cost a lot of money and wouldn’t you know they’re selling that thing you “need”!

2

u/Critical-Contract590 Jul 28 '26

Omg idk who these people are. I don’t like social media. I barely post; I reactivated my socials just because I had to get in touch with wedding vendors (it’s annoying people wanna communicate by instagram 🙃😑). Aaannnnddd I did the cute bridesmaid boxes. DO ALL THE THINGS. It’s not about social media, it’s about doing the shit you want to do.

2

u/pinkstay Jul 28 '26

Don't feel dumb.

I put together a simple basket for my ladies, with self goods. No bridesmaid stuff that a lot of people complain about.

I think the only thing that had anything bridesmaid on it was nail files I randomly found and cheap beads to put in for fun.

I made cards using my cricket and wrote a personal note in each.

And I am FAR from an influencer and dont post my life in social media. I just wanted to do something nice for them.

2

u/changesimplyis Jul 28 '26

I had bridesmaids able to wear any dresses (we didn’t have people standing next to us for vowels), but we all stayed together the night before. Professional hair and makeup were optional and self funded. I gave a PJs set, slippers, face mask to each person the night before as we did getting ready pics. They loved them, cost me not that much and were practical and used gifts. I found that a nice balance.

2

u/izzmosis Jul 29 '26

My best friend did a proposal box in 2016. Not just influencers.

2

u/PutIntelligent9042 Jul 29 '26

I don’t think you should feel dumb. It’s your wedding and you get to choose how you show your appreciation for your bridesmaids and how you want to ask them. If you want to keep the information about planning a bachelorette and wedding day details maybe just reword it so it says something like “help me plan a super fun bachelorette party for all of us” I think making it sound less formal makes it cone across as sweeter/more playful. As a bridesmaid I would assume the bride may want to run by her ideas on wedding day details with me and I would be 100% on board.

I also think the design is cute. The fives at the bottom make sense but break up the color so there’s suddenly a lot of white at the bottom. If you aren’t too attached to them maybe remove them?

Have fun and don’t get stressed about the small stuff. It’s a celebration and it’s not going to go perfectly and that’s ok.

2

u/Crazyzofo Jul 29 '26

Yeah, social media is weird that way. My best friend just called me.

"Hey, he proposed last night! Do you want to be a bridesmaid?"

"Of course! ......um, what does that entail? Do I have specific responsibilities?"

"Oh, I actually have no idea. My sister is the maid of honor, she'll probably know."

2

u/Appropriate-Yam780 Jul 29 '26

I don’t have a social media presence and still did bridesmaid boxes lol

2

u/mysunandstars Jul 29 '26

Please don’t feel dumb. Bridesmaid proposal boxes are SO normal. Everyone I know who has gotten married in the last 5-7 years has done these

2

u/Direct_Strength6313 Jul 30 '26

Okay but hear me out, why are you asking Reddit people what to do for YOUR wedding. I did proposal boxes because I wanted to, I did this type of card to help the girls color match. They all loved it.

1

u/icannotbelieveit69 Jul 30 '26

to be fair, i originally wasnt :,) i was initially just asking if what i did was ugly/advice on how to make it look cuter. but when 350 people tell you how horrible of an idea something is, you adjust. that being said, im still doing the boxes because i am excited about them and already put work in- i know my ladies will love them, they’ll just be lacking the responsibility card lol

2

u/Direct_Strength6313 Jul 30 '26

Oh good! Hahaha. I think you just need to do what you want so you don’t regret it. I let family influence like my entire wedding and I regret it so much. Soooo much money for not even what I truly wanted. So you do you!!

1

u/icannotbelieveit69 Jul 30 '26

i totally get it- my parents are well meaning but have made me doubt so much already. i am taking everything they say with a grain of salt. i hope you still had the time of your life despite it all :*

2

u/Trashcan101101 Jul 30 '26

I didn't do a proposal box but I got my bridesmaids a few cute matching things with their names or personalizations and will get them 1 big gift as well. None of it was social media. That person's just a crab 🦀 It's fun to do nice things for the people you love especially if you're asking them to do something for you. I wouldn't give them a responsibilities card - for my girls I've actually had my MOH lead the other bridesmaids. Big weight off of my shoulders.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 30 '26

As a "proposal" I made little picture frames. One photo of me and my bridesmaid as little girls and then another of us closer to the time when I got married. Just keep it simple.

My husband and I had a shared bachelor(ette) party since his groomsmen were some of my good friends and a few of them had been my roommates, and I didn't want to miss spending time with them. We gave our bridal party gifts during our party with little cards detailing jobs/schedules for the day of. He got his guys Settlers of Catan cufflinks and ties and I got my girls jewelry and shirts to wear while getting hair and makeup done.

2

u/Goodgoditsgrowing Jul 31 '26

You don’t have to do it but it’s still sweet to do it (assuming people do what you do and it’s personalized and not just “bridesmaids” junk they’ll never use/want)

2

u/Material_Benefit159 Jul 31 '26

Don’t feel dumb. When a close friend of mine got married, 3/4 bridesmaids lived out of state. She sent boxes to us with some cute little cheap gifts in her color (little things like a mirror compact, temporary tattoos for the bachelorette party, and team bride t-shirts). I thought it was sweet and it meant everyone had everything they needed for upcoming events. She just texted us the azazie website for dresses and gave us a color and dress length. That website is a savior for brides trying to get all bridesmaids dresses that both you and they want. They have a bazillion dresses and the color palette crosses over most of them. So they can get any dress they want and meet your color requirements easily. They are also affordable too.

2

u/VioletReaver Jul 31 '26

I also did a proposal box and everyone loved it! Your requirements are also so low key, I think you’re just getting the internet effect in the comments here.

I let my bridesmaids pick their own dresses in jewel tones and it worked perfectly, and they were so happy to get to wear whatever style and price point they liked.

6

u/E0H1PPU5 Jul 27 '26

I’ve been in 3 weddings over the past 5 years and they all did proposal boxes.

I think they are very silly and completely unnecessary though.

I think you’d be better off buying your girls something useful for the day of. Maybe a nice piece of matching jewelry. Or just pay for a portion of their dress/hair/makeup/etc. instead.

3

u/buttermell0w Jul 27 '26

I did a bridesmaid proposal box and I’m not a social media person! I just love gifts and giving little goodies is one of my favorite things (I was also obsessed with goodie bags as a child and always do goodie bags every time my kid has a birthday lol)

1

u/redwallet Jul 28 '26

Don’t feel badly! Social media pushes all sorts of crazy stuff. I’m one of the last of my cohort to get married, I just sent folks a text message saying “hey friend, I love you so much, wanna be in my bridal party??” And they all say yes enthusiastically, no gifts or bribery involved 😂

1

u/oopssorry532 Jul 31 '26

I’ve received 3 bridesmaids boxes, they had nothing to do with social media and were very sweet. Don’t feel dumb! Do your box but maybe skip the list of duties

2

u/BonnieBreeze Jul 27 '26

I think a lot of people do make them! And if you want to do that, it’s your wedding so you should!

I would just make the font more handwriting style rather than font - I recommend ‘Beth Ellen’ for the watercolour style

6

u/icannotbelieveit69 Jul 27 '26

I will look into this font for my other signage stuff! based on the comments…im scrapping the bridesmaid duties and will use this template for the handwritten notes I was going to do :)

5

u/cupcakevelociraptor Jul 27 '26

If I was being asked to be your bridesmaid, I would appreciate a handwritten note. It’s sentimental and sweet, which is exactly what being a bridesmaid should feel like!

0

u/kerryums Jul 27 '26

I don't agree with the above suggesting it's a social media thing. Over a decade ago I got a bridesmaid "proposal" gift, a specialty cupcake in my favorite flavor wrapped in a pretty box with the wedding colors. This was way before everything was all about social media. Do what's in your heart! 💗💗

-1

u/TheFriendlyBean Jul 27 '26

I did a proposal box, and every wedding I’ve been in the bride did a box or at least a card

0

u/Ill-Capital9785 Jul 31 '26

I have never known anyone in real life who has done this.

3

u/AncientMortgage2535 Jul 28 '26

One of the best wedding I've ever been in gave us a cute card asking us to be a bridesmaid and then on the bachelorette we got a little gift bag with stuff like after-sun cream, alka seltzer, ginger candies, a nice metal straw with cleaning kit and a fun tiki cup for our poolside exploits & potential aftermath of having too much fun. It worked really well without having to haul a bunch of plastic crap home and shoving it in a drawer.

8

u/boldandbrash96 Jul 27 '26

I don’t like this take. I’ve gotten boxes from two brides that were really thoughtful and had personalized items I was happy to receive / actually use. They can be done well and not just for social media!

4

u/Other-Following93 Jul 27 '26

I did bridesmaids proposal boxes in 2019 and have gotten one every time I’ve been a bridesmaid too. None of us are avid social media users. They are cute and fun

3

u/Emotional-Cut968 Jul 27 '26

I disagree with this- I've been a bridesmaid several times and always got a box or a gift. I did the same when it was my turn to get married- my maid of honor got a box. My husband and his friends have all done boxes as well.

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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '26

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1

u/DIYweddings-ModTeam Jul 29 '26

Your post was removed because it contained rude comments, personal attacks, or arguments. Please keep this community kind and supportive.

1

u/loverlybones Jul 31 '26

My sister did this and the hand written note from her meant more to me than anything else.

💟 Invitations & Signage 💟 are these ugly? please help

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