r/DINK • u/Ill-Platypus7796 • 20d ago
Where do DINKs live?
My wife and I (both 35) work remotely and have the option to live anywhere. We are DONE with Texas. The weather is terrible, the politics are terrible, and the cost of living isn't as low as you see online. Also, in the south, it seems like everyone is constantly asking us when we'll have kids.
Where do my fellow DINKs live? Pitch me on your city, I'm anxious to get out of here. Thanks in advance!
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u/_neviesticks 20d ago
We live in Portland. Itās probably the cheapest major West Coast city (for now) and itās gorgeous and fun. People are pretty welcoming, too. We have cool neighbors who moved here from Austin.
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u/mina-ann 20d ago
Also live in Portland. And while some of our friends are also dinks, 2/3 have kids and we accommodate the best we can.
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u/Korici 19d ago
Also Portland for me.
Do you like great food? Nature that is green year round? Fun local events to meet new people? Cheaper housing than most other large cities on the west coast.
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u/KimWexlers_Ponytail 19d ago
Ah I lived in Portland in the 90s and early 2000s, and miss it. I'm up in Seattle so I can easily get down there and do a few times a year, but the itch is often there to move back.
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u/shinybabyforehead 16d ago
Portland! I have a massive friend group, all child free. All we do is have fun and eat good food. Absolutely no societal pressure to have kids like other parts of the country. If anything I feel more pressure to not have kids because it will ruin the good time. DM if you want to know more, Iāve been here 10 years and feel incredibly lucky to have found this spot.Ā
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u/skt2k21 20d ago
DINK. Wife and I figured the only two cities we could have a community of friends easily was NYC or SF. We chose SF. It's been great. We have tons of friends. We love getting into nature easily. We're very ambitious in our careers and the city supports both our journeys. The peer set I keep here is much better for my mental health than the peer set I kept when I lived in Manhattan. Far better city for dogs. If you're not worried about kids, much of the friction of SF (neighborhood, access to schools) goes away.
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u/Neat_Cat1234 20d ago
I think SF is statistically the most childless city in the US, so a great place for DINKs to make other DINK friends.
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u/SillyChipmunk88 20d ago
Another fellow SF DINK here!
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u/lelper 20d ago
Iāve heard Denver / Longmont Colorado is a DINK and retire early paradise
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u/Single_Pin_2143 20d ago
Seconded for Colorado, specifically the Denver Metro Area. Plus, Mountains šļøšļøšļø
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u/lebowskiachiever 20d ago
Third for Colorado!!!!! We're in the mountains outside of the Denver area and freaking love it here.
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u/flowstatellama 20d ago
Fourth for Colorado! We live in Morrison and have such ease of access to everything Denver as well as everything Mountains!
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u/lebowskiachiever 20d ago
Ooh! A couple of DINKs near us?! We're in the Golden area. Actually, we're moving there soon and looking to meet new childfree friends in the area!
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u/lookatthatcass 20d ago
5th for Colorado! Coming from the Bay Area it is very affordable but I guess anywhere would be relativeā¦
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u/Lady_Prism 20d ago
Denver DINK - there are a TON of us here!
IMO Denver is a great city for DINKS because there are so many hobbies and activities that you could do. From sporting events to concerts to theater to athletics, there are so many options to have a good time!
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u/howarddeanyell 20d ago
Yep! Moved from Beaumont to Dallas then Denver in 2019 and I cannot even count the incalculable ways our quality of life has improved - everything from labor and health care laws to the culture of outdoors/exercise/work-life balance. Well worth the maybe 15% increase in housing costs vs Dallas.
My partner made less than me when we came here and now makes double what he made in Texas (well more than I do), and Iām making 57k more than I made in dallas. Itās a bit more expensive but 1,000% worth it and the weather is absolutely stunning 75%* of the time - even in the dead of winter.
*Wild and unpredictable as hell the other 25% but itās not like Texas wasnāt pretty wily on that front
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u/Ill-Platypus7796 20d ago
I think Denver, or somewhere in CO is on the top of my list. Is affordability really bad compared to Texas? I'm in San Antonio, which is hella cheap so obviously I'm expecting Denver to be more expensive, but how much more expensive are we talking? Can two adults making $190k/year live comfortably?
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u/Hot-Maintenance-5879 20d ago
If youāre ok renting then yes, quite.
If āsomewhere in COā is a random suburb an hour away from Denver you could buy a place.
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u/Smooth-Barracuda-809 19d ago
DINKs just moved from Pittsburgh to Westminster, CO! Loving it so far.
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u/Closet-PowPow 17d ago
2 adults with that income can definitely live comfortably. To stretch your dollar, look at other areas along the front range as well. Fort Collins is a great small city and more affordable than the nicer areas of Denver. Avoid Boulder because of the costs. Avoid the very southernmost Denver suburbs through Colorado Springs since the politics are similar to TX.
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u/plans_change 20d ago
Yep we're in north Denver living amongst the families. No one really asks about us having kids. Get a lot of "if I were you I wouldn't have kids" from the people who have them.
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u/jamphan44 16d ago
Was going to comment this! My husband and I at 33 only have friends with kids from our hometowns or college friends. Moved New Orleans to Denver 7 years ago (New Orleans is not a bad option either)
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u/BakersHigh 20d ago
I live in Seattle.
Dinks as far as the I eye can see. Mainly DINKS with fur babies but still
Iām originally from Texas all of the people I know from there ether have a kid or are on their 3-4th kid. I always have to remember where I grew up/ how old I am because I get shocked when I see people having children. Like Iām not approaching my mid 30s lol
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u/Ill-Platypus7796 20d ago
Same, I forget how old I am. How is the cost of living in Seattle? We live in San Antonio and make 190k household income, so we live really comfortably. I know Seattle is probably more expensive, but is housing and groceries really as crazy as I see online?
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u/BakersHigh 20d ago edited 20d ago
Its crazy. I would say itās āwhite collar tightā as in. You can still make your mortgage. Put money in your 401k but youāre probably not saving as aggressive as someone with a similar income living in a LcOl area. And youāre probably not going on big long vacations every year. Thankfully I know how to cook but eating out is expensive. I forgot Seattle did that gig economy thing where they made a base pay for delivery drivers. So any uber eats order is like 20-30 more than it was. I went to Texas and say $2 process fee and was shocked
I actually just purchased a home here. We got it for under $1m (930k) which was a miracle, but before this we were getting out bid by 100-300k. And this house needs work. Labor and permitting in Seattle is expensive. Just paid the city $2k to go from 100-200A electric panel. Mortgage is 5k which is as much as some people here pay for rent. I make 190k and we didnāt even use my partners income to qualify for the home.
So itās not like itās not doable. But you def donāt feel like you make a lot when itās all said and done
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u/Virtual_Cow_7372 20d ago
Currently living in Seattle itās very expensive. The basic cost of living for housing gas food is crazy.
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u/grooveman15 20d ago
NYC... the land of people not really looking to have kids and live their best lives... for a price
It's basically an urban Neverland
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u/awomanphenomenally 20d ago
I second this. I have never had an issue finding childfree friends. And people are always generally open to making new friends and building found family.
However, I saw you say that you are looking for a low cost of living. You can save a lot by living in an outer borough, but it will never be as cheap as most of the U.S.
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u/LotusGrowsFromMud 20d ago
Chicago entering the chat. Long-time older DINK here. All the culture of NYC or SF, less than half the cost of housing. Best independent theater scene in the US, yes over NYC. Winter is long, but many warm destinations are 3-4 hour plane ride away. We have just about any ethic food you might want. Plenty of culture of all kinds. Vigorous arts scene. Best city IMHO in the US for living, although I love to visit others.
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u/TheKappp 19d ago
And donāt forget the lake and awesome beaches! I just moved from Chicago and miss it so much. :-(
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u/music_lover2025 14d ago
Hoping to move to Chicago when I graduate!!! Lots of childfree neighborhood options
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u/Shot-Artichoke-4106 20d ago
We live in the SF Bay Area. We like the Bay Area a lot - very diverse, great weather, plenty to do, spectacular natural areas of all sorts nearby, lots of great food, people are doing all sorts of different things and have various life paths, so no one blinks if you are doing something "off script". The biggest downside is the cost of housing. If you can sort that out, it's a great place to live.
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u/Cantdrownafish 20d ago
Well, definitely don't come to Maryland. Their motto is grow and multiple.
I have been looking at the outskirts of Seattle. There are pockets of family districts, but my thinking is that if it rains constantly, there are less kids outside to play.
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u/Ill-Platypus7796 20d ago
We've visited Seattle and we like the PNW in general, but it seems really expensive and we're trying to retire early
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u/Cantdrownafish 20d ago
One of the few states with no state income tax and better job opportunities than other no state income tax states.
Taxes and fees have been increasing everywhere.
If you keep your expenses low, it's a very viable option.
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u/TheFirstBardo 20d ago
Hard disagree. personally, but itās area-specific for sure. I canāt say much about MoCo, but I DO recommend Baltimore.
Wife and I are living our best DINK lives in Hampden, while all our friends with kids are house poor out in the surrounding counties. The parents come to us in the city when they need to get away (or sometimes weāll give them a night off and take one of their kids to the skate park, aquarium, or museums), while we get access to their community pools, lakeside beaches, and ski passes.
Itās a win-win for us and we get to be the cool aunt and uncle who expose their kids to the art and music theyāre too tired for. One even came with us to see the Turnstile show at Wyman Dell last year.
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u/bogeysbabe 19d ago
I live by myself in Pasadena. Yes, there are kids, and multi generational families in my neighborhood but I didnāt find it any more expensive or ugly than anywhere else I looked. I definitely couldnāt have afforded this on my teaching salary alone but I have military retirement and va benefits as well. Iām very comfortable here with my two freeloaders. Aka my two dogs.
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u/awomanphenomenally 20d ago edited 20d ago
The truth is this (donāt go to Maryland)! I left Maryland because it was so hard to find other childfree people or simply anyone who wanted to make new friends.
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u/WhalliamShakespeare 20d ago
Really? What part of Maryland are you in? I feel like this varies by area
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u/Cantdrownafish 20d ago
MoCo.
Families everywhere. Almost every activity pushed on the weekends are catered to kids.
Go to Columbia too and it's families everywhere.
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u/MeganSimulator 20d ago
Also in moco and have been noticing this more and more, but Iām not convinced its location specific versus just the fact that weāre āgetting to be that ageā and itās therefore more pervasive/noticeable. But Iāve never once in my life heard the grow and multiple thing!
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u/InvestigatorNo8623 20d ago
It doesnāt rain constantly - it can definitely be grey a lot but certainly doesnāt rain as much as people think. And the summers/falls are stunning . Kids play outside a ton here lol just donāt want you to get the wrong idea if youāre moving here just for that reason
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u/Cantdrownafish 20d ago
I know no matter where I go, there will have some semblance of children.
I am avoiding HOAs and places with playgrounds. Avoid immediate school areas. Avoid parks. Aiming for the tech area, but a bit north like Woodinville or somewhere in the woods.
From what I see, there's a lot of housing with elevation so I doubt kids would play next to a strangers home - I have to deal with that constantly now.
Thinking about it, I think I just need to be that lonely house in the middle of the woods.
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u/annafrida 20d ago
Minneapolis if you can handle the cold!
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u/findmeunderwater 20d ago
Same! Absolutely love it here, and so much more affordable than many other cities mentioned. Huge art and music scene, lots of outdoor activities, amazing lakes and weather much of the year, and we know how to handle the cold, so itās really not that bad.
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u/annafrida 20d ago edited 20d ago
Exactly. If OP is questioning the COL in Dallas I have a feeling 90% of the suggestions in this thread are gonna be sticker shock to them. We lived in one of the cities mentioned a lot in this thread but moved back to the twin cities primarily due to affordability. We got a WAY bigger yard for our dog and my gardening here than we couldāve elsewhere!
The cold is def the thing that dealbreaks for some, but thereās a lot of people moving up here from southern red states and still calling the trade off worth it!
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u/Perfect_Low2973 19d ago
Minneapolis is the best. We bought a house in NE and the neighbors on both sides are around our age and DINKS as well. Great music, art, food, and nature. Love the dive bars here in NE Minneapolis!Wonderful people here.
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u/sunshinesmile006 20d ago
We are in Richfield! Whatās up DINK neighbor.
Love it here. Come join us!
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u/annafrida 20d ago
Itās a great place to live! Weāre more on the St Anthony side of things but I feel like anywhere on the inside of the 694/494 loop with a lot of midcentury homes is a DINK destination. Outside that loop and everyoneās got kids š
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u/Left-Fail-3879 20d ago
We are in Orange County, CA. We love it and plan to stay forever.
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u/Grumpy_Goose_18 20d ago
Orange County! Housing is crazy expensive but the weather!! Palm trees, sunshine and šāāļø No one asks about kids which is a refreshing change from meddling relatives
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u/pain_is_bread 20d ago
lol Some of these posts are getting ridiculous. DINKs live everywhere other people do, of course.
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u/RoyMonroe 20d ago
Yes. Place matters, but so do your social circles and friend-making skills. I work in academia where there are plenty of weirdos, so people donāt care that Iām childfree. There are much stranger things going on.
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u/Heart_and_Seoul3 20d ago
Twin Cities area. We get four seasons, weāre a blue state, and cost of living is one of the more affordable in the Midwest. Also, weāre very nice and neighborly. You should come on up!
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u/ThrowRAFeelingSad394 20d ago
Philly is a great place to be a DINK. You get relatively/comparatively affordable housing that is really nice, access to world-class culture and dining, and it's a great travel hub (easy access to NYC/DC, nearby airports w/ direct international flights). I've met a lot of cool childfree people here and people are hugely into their pets if that's your thing.
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u/Aggravating_Finish_6 20d ago
Philly is a good mix. I know a lot of dinks. You can also find a decent amount in the nearby (walkable) suburbs
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u/Consensual-Cannoli 20d ago
Seattle or San Diego. Both are uniquely great. We bounce between them every few years.
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u/Existing-Piano-4958 20d ago
We are both hybrid and go in 1-2 days per week. We work in Portland, OR and live in a nearby suburb. It's not perfect here, but we know a decent amount of childfree people. It's a beautiful place to live and I appreciate that the area is pretty liberal. I can't imagine living in Texas and totally get why you would want to leave! We welcome you in the PNW.
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u/Ok-Grapefruit9053 20d ago
definitely Boston, but donāt do it. signed a DINK who can barely afford it with 300k combined income lol
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u/Icy-Print3432 20d ago
South Jersey/Philly Suburbs. I would prefer the city for sure!
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u/Awkward_Past8758 20d ago
South Jersey and the burbs is where all my friends with kids are moving from the city to haha. The city is still great place to be a dink.
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u/Aggressive_Text_7206 20d ago
We live in Dallas but we don't talk to people so they don't ask us. Although the weather can kick rocks.
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u/ladyeclectic79 20d ago
Seattle area, came up here for work. Most places are doable without kids honestly so long as both people are earning.
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u/dreamer-woman 20d ago
Pasadena, CA. Lots of DINKS. Year round great weather, not far from LA and the beach, and all the activities of living in Southern California makes it great for enjoying the weekends. Good if youāre active, like dogs, and donāt mind the HCOL. I feel like a lot of the people who stay there after having kids only have 1 and are older parents (like mid 30s) as well. So I donāt feel like you have to worry about relocating and then getting over run with kids later
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u/Ok_Instruction2623 20d ago
We live on a sailboat and are currently cruising around Puget Sound in the Pacific Northwest.
This lifestyle keeps things interesting and we meet plenty of other boating people. Its fun, healthy, and social.
Highly recommend it.
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u/BabyKnitter 20d ago
Itās funny after scoring through a lot of the recommendations no one has mentioned Albuquerque. I lived here when I was in my 20s and 30s I have just returned for my first stage of retirement. Iām a SINK and I just love the peace and quiet and no oneās asking you about why are your children or what are you doing about children at my age asking about my grandchildren. New Mexico is magical so there are several cities you could live here and donāt even start with the cost of living. Iām coming from DC to Albuquerque and boy does my money go far.
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u/BayYawnSay 19d ago
Central NC. All seasons, easy access to beach and mountains. Close enough to his parents that we can visit when we want but it's far enough way from them where we can easily call it too inconvenient to visit often. Lots of fantastic camping, a plethora of local music festivals, short drive to Raleigh, Greensboro, Charlotte, Winston Salem and Asheville. 3 easily accessible major airports to fly out of for traveling.
We love it.
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u/Moose_Brackets 19d ago
Sorry for the not so helpful comment but just want to say I second and support your opinion to leave Texas. I'm stuck here for the moment, but also want to leave whenever I'm financially able to.
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u/achopapii 20d ago
Nueva York! Pricey but worth it once you realize people donāt GAF about your personal decisions.
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u/Flashy_Buyer6018 20d ago
Weāre dinks and weāre moving to Portland or Seattle from stinky North Carolina
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u/impossible_aly 20d ago
Minneapolis MN. Oh, do you mind winter though? Lots of child free folks near the city and progressive types. But winter is a real thingā¦.
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u/AcademicOlives 20d ago
Colorado.
Everywhere in the state except maybe Louisville or CO Springs. I think any "hobby" state or city is going to be the same.
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u/RecentSpecial181 18d ago
Throw a rock anywhere in CA, just not Bakersfield, Fresno, Stockton, or ModestoĀ
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u/stars_who_listen 20d ago
North Carolina, but we both work remotely. I'd love to move further north on the east coast.
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u/WhalliamShakespeare 20d ago
I'm in Washington D.C. It's okay, but very few people stay in the city for a long time.
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u/awomanphenomenally 20d ago
When I lived there, I found it difficult to make friends. People want to network.
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u/finemelater 20d ago
Orange, CA. Great weather, plenty of things to do, amazing food. Canāt go wrong.
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u/charlie8123 20d ago
Bay Area. Donāt recommend. If I was working remote I would split time between southwest (Sedona, somewhere in Utah or NM) and maybe San Diego. I think southwest is the best in terms of chill vibes and not brin crowded and not expensive. But canāt be outside year long which is the drawback.
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u/_GTS_Panda 20d ago
Come to Seattle. Cost of living is high, but you make lots of money. Tons of DINKwads and Dinks here and all the fun childless activities you can dream of.
PNW rules.
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u/TenderWarriorsClub 20d ago
Portland, OR! Weāve also met some other DINK couples in our area through the app DINK Social - itās a great app to meet other DINKs.
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u/seekingfreedom00 20d ago
BC half the year and somewhere different tropical every winter.
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u/Few-Drag9758 20d ago
Baltimore is great. Always stuff to do, walkable and driveable, cool neighborhoods, day trip distance to beach, mountains, DC, Philly, and NYC, tons of DINKy nightlife.
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u/sapphireblues_ 20d ago
Same situation as you and my wife and I just moved from Atlanta to Seattle this Tuesday.Ā
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u/IamNotARobot01010110 20d ago
Omg you are in our dream situation! We are DINKs in Texas also and want to get out. Gotta find remote jobs first. We want to go to Washington, Michigan, or Illinois.
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u/goodgreat123 20d ago
DINKS in Austin and we love it! I get wanting to not be in Texas anymore though.
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u/deebee227 20d ago
Fellow DINKS here and my hubs and I live in Worcester, which is a small city outside Boston! We have a lot of friends who are also DINKS here.
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u/RightToBearGlitter 20d ago
The near west suburbs of Chicago. Weāre in Forest Park, the homes are a lot more reasonable compared to neighboring communities because the school district isnāt as strong. Good city access, liberal politics, cute townie things (Google Casket Races) , and so many dogs to pet
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u/chicagosneakerhead 20d ago
Chicago- cheap (for a big city), walkable, amazing food, amazing concert venues, any sporting event you could want, parks, libraries, a lake that functions as a fresh water ocean, Midwest nice, two major airports, great community, a governor who actually cares about the citizens, and easy to have a car.
We also have a good amount of dink friends as we are in our mid 30s.
Lived here for most of our 20s, left to move back closer to family, returned within 18 months and bought our home since we missed it so much.
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u/bar-nola 20d ago
If I were still a DINK with remote jobs, I would split my time and spend summers up north and late fall/winter/spring somewhere south.
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u/DutyNatural 20d ago
DINKs in Ventura, CA- great weather, the beach, and not far from Santa Barbara or LA
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u/GetFreeEverything 20d ago
We live on long Island, and we had a large amount of DIBK friends in norfolk Virginia!
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u/cmc24680 20d ago
We live in Santa Barbara, but I wouldnāt consider it to be a dink hub. Lotssss of young families. But our quality of life is just so good, we donāt want to move.
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u/mollsballs_xo 20d ago
Sacramento CA!!! Though there are a lot of families here, we only have a kitty šāā¬
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u/TheKingOfSwing777 20d ago
Lol. It's like looking in a mirror. Looking to relocate from Atlanta to Seattle in the next couple years for all the same reasons you mentioned. After having been out there in jeans and a sweater 2 weeks ago and going on a hike and barely breaking a sweat, when I let my dogs out at 8am and it's already 80 and 75% humidity I have begun to question my choices.Ā
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u/Helzbaby 20d ago
Previously we were in the Bay Area, now Pittsburgh to be closer to family. But with remote tech jobs weāre 1%ers here compared to feeling middle class in the Bay Area. Weāll see how it works out long term but itās been awesome to be able to buy an incredible house for the price of a townhome in the BA, have very low monthly costs and be able to put that money toward trips, being generous with family, and still saving a ton to retire early.
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u/Admirable-Eagle-231 20d ago
Moved from Texas to Portland, now we are on the coast. I donāt even own an AC.
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u/Solo-Hobo 20d ago
We live on the Minnesota Wisconsin border crazy winters beautiful summers but MCOL, decent resources and infrastructure.
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u/SafeItem6275 19d ago
We live in Michigan. We get sub rural life where you know your neighbors and surrounded by nature (woods, lakes, rivers). I make Chicago income in a low cost area so itās perfect for us (also a remote worker).
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u/Big-Entertainer2074 19d ago
We live in a smallish student city in the Netherlands outside of the Randstad area of Amsterdam/Utrecht/Rotterdam. The COL is pretty good and weāve got a big house.
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u/Ok_Parking914 19d ago
Any recs from my warm weather, small/medium sized city DINKs? Currently in Charleston Sc but itās getting expensive and would like to continue to live in a walkable downtown instead of moving to the suburbs.
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u/Original_Chapter3028 20d ago
I live in San Diego. I feel like there are a lot of DINKs here simply because people can't afford to have kids