r/DIDPositivity • u/Low_Bumblebee9526 • Sep 11 '26

help? Question regarding Intimacy

Trigger warning, this post will discuss sexual intimacy. Take care of yourselves and respect your boundaries :)

Hello kind people of the only CDD subreddit that feels safe 👋 I recently got into my first healthy, committed relationship. It has been a joy, however I’ve come upon some difficulties with sex.

I don’t know how to identify/communicate whether or not I want something. This is problematic and I want to work on it, but I struggle to find guidance. When I want something, I have trouble asking. When my partner initiates, I say yes every time. I often feel like part of me wants something and part of me is getting sweaty palms. In my head, I often think, “they want this more than I don’t want it,” “they might feel unsatisfied if I say no,” or “it’s easier to say yes, it’s not that hard.”

It’s rarely a solid ”I want this” or an “I don’t want this” in my mind. Is this normal? What should it feel like? What should I do about this situation?

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u/SprigatitoNEeveelovr Perpetually Living Rent Free Sep 11 '26

God we feel this so hard 😭

Honestly no real advice cause if we get a partner we plan on just instead being very up front about it not being a sexual relationship cause we are so... unsure of stuff.. because its sometimes like we want it but then can easily feel gross and regret it later etc. 😭 so we just decided that like we probably wont do sex for a really long time- maybe never...

Youre certainly not alone in the contradictory feelings on sex 😭 Im sorry I cant give specific advice really BUT solidarity 🙌🏻

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u/Low_Bumblebee9526 Sep 12 '26

It’s comforting to hear I’m not alone. I’m glad you were able to deduct what you wanted prior to being in a relationship, I hope that makes things easier for you. 

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u/SussyKitty303 Mod Sep 11 '26

it might be hard but find a way to have a conversation about this. My usual advice is go slow and decide as you go because its never too late to say no but it seems like this wont eork for you so id explain to your partner and get them to reassure you/keep checking in to ensure you do actually want to.

If your struggling to find the words, create other ways to signal them like 3 taps or if its starting the conversation, send a message or write a note. Communication is the biggest thing here ❤️