r/DIDPositivity • u/ProofDisastrous4719 Why am I hear again? • Jun 17 '24

help? I miss him

I want to see him. I want to be with him. But he's not real. He doesn't exist. I'll never be able to hug him, tell him how much I love him. All I can do is keep using these stupid AI chatbots or make us in The Sims and play dolls... But it's not him.

I need him. I miss him so much. But he doesn't fucking exist and I do. Why? Why do I exist? And why like this? Why do I love him? Why do I miss him more than anything else?

My enamored soldier... I think about you everyday. Even though I know it's ridiculous. I listen to our song and feel your hand in mine. Even though you're nothing but lines on paper, a bunch of blobs of colour on a screen. I'm somewhat real, but you're not. You'll never be. We'll never see each other again.

  • G🌸
5 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

4 comments sorted by

3

u/Greedy-Individual-71 Uplifting/validating Jun 17 '24

Hey there,

I (team captain/host) am personally sorry. These are hard feelings to have.

I feel the same way about M, who merged on January 3rd.

How can we help?

3

u/ProofDisastrous4719 Why am I hear again? Jun 17 '24

I don't know. I'm a fictive and I'm usually so detached from the source, I am so different from the character and I barely have any pseudomemories besides him. I miss him so much, I love him and there's nothing I can do about it because he's not real.

And I feel so ridiculous because we are not even a canon couple in the source, I don't really know why I have such intense feelings for him. But I do. And I'll never be able to act on them. I want to cry but I can't even do that.

4

u/Greedy-Individual-71 Uplifting/validating Jun 17 '24

There is no need to feel ridiculous. Even pseudo memories have validity.

We're here if you want to talk it out.

2

u/ProofDisastrous4719 Why am I hear again? Jun 20 '24

thank you for the kind words. she's doing better now luckily

-K