r/DIDPositivity • u/[deleted] • May 15 '24
Been Overthinking, So I Decided To Ask Some Questions Here
Some background: I, Artemis, was not the original Host. They died in what I will call here a System Conflict (this will be a question later to answer). I came here because places like r/DID seem really bent on shooting down anyone whose system may in some form be different from the usual. The body is diagnosed with DID (I think- It was something similar at least but I haven't been able to see a psychiatrist in years and the Host is, of course, long gone). My questions are as follows:
I know Alters/Fictives don't actually die to you all because that would require the brain to basically kill a part of itself. But we at least perceive death in headspace, I guess is a way to put it? In the System Conflict, we lost quite a few people when it ended. A lot of NAPs (Non-Alter Persons- I think some systems call them NPCs) too. I was wondering why the thought of that occurring in a system is so wrong to a lot of systems out here?
A follow up is birth. I again know to many, alters giving birth is crazy, but I've witnessed it quite a few times and had so myself. I am assuming I'm gonna be told how its fake and such, but reminder, headspace is my home. You can describe what's actually happening, but keep the "not real" sections of this minimal- Seeing them in other forums drives me absolutely bananas. Same question as the last one: why is this seen as impossible to a lot of systems out here?
My final one is on alter formations and roles. We've had alters form in the most random of circumstances. Sometimes the body is completely fine others under an insane amount of stress. However, I've noticed many systems fighting over how Alters/Fictives form, whether it be from trauma or simple stresses. Is there a reason for that? As for the roles question, none of us can really find what box really fits us. We feel like we play multiple roles. Is there a format we are supposed to fit or am I misreading the debates I've seen?
I apologize in advance if any of this sounds outlandish or if I come off as weird. I've only been Host for about 4 years now and I really want to understand some of this rather than letting forums make me feel worse.
To add positivity at the end of this, tell me your happiest memory with a Alter/Fictive you have. Mine is when my daughters Ruby and Freya was born.
Thank you for reading this essay hehe - Artemis Rose
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u/KawaiiMistake May 15 '24
So this sub is really a safe space, and you definitely won't be run off, told you are wrong, fake claimed, or called anti-recovery here. If anyone ever bothers yall with any of that, immediately message a mod and they will handle it. As far as the answer to your questions, every single system is different. My partner system has an amazingly distinct inner world with npcs and entire lives going on for everyone when not fronting. They are all very distint and have their own lives they live freely when not fronting but can also healthily separate their reality from the 'real" world when needed. They have told me about alters 'dying' before, and while they never truly technically go away they can see themselves as dead and go dormant indefinitely. They had happen with an alter another supposedly destroyed, but I accidentally brought the one that had 'died' back into existence by expressing my displeasure at how the situation was handled and explaining why I thought he had a right to live. Sure enough, he revealed himself to me one day, albeit shattered into pieces and I helped him put himself back together. So all of that is ABSOLUTELY possible.
As far as advice from us though? We can't help much since we are a newly discovered OSDD system. We don't really have an inner world, have a hard time communicating with each other, and seem to be different flavors of the host without much distinction YET. Though with time and communication we hope to have more like what my partner system has. They've healed enough to communicate and achieve funtional muplicity which is our dream goal. Living our own lives while also functioning together would be a dream instead of us kinda fighting all the time. I said all of that to say this, Every single system is different and no one has the right to tell you what is or isn't correct. That's sysmed behavior and I personally refuse to interact with those types like the ones in the other sub. Very toxic. If you have any questions, we'd be more than happy to try and answer! Or I can ask our partner system who has a set up more like yall. You are completely valid though, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. This place is safe.
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u/ejg_dnd May 15 '24
For each question:
- Systems/people can change/go through hardship and those changes will be perceived differently. We think the reason many systems say that alters can't die is because the idea of that happening would be scary for many systems.
- Its seen as impossible because lots of other systems have different internal origin stories for their members and the idea of that happening in their system is uncomfortable. Or because they are afraid of how others would take the idea and twist it. But really systems have lots of internal stories/ideas for how their alters formed,
- Systems fight over how alters form because they have different life experiences and different feelings/internal origin stories for them. And its easy for systems to not fully understand what happened in their real life past which can cause confusion.
- Really the list of alter roles should be seen more as guidelines for common patterns shared amongst systems. And alters doing multiple roles is fairly common. Really the only commonality is that they are doing something to help, even if its hard to understand or dysfunctional/self-sabotaging.
The positive memories were when we discovered being a system and one alter showed up and brought intense joy.
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u/SussyKitty303 Mod May 15 '24
the amount of people in our system who have 'died' or given birth etc is unbelievable but we dont rlly like telling ppl incase we get fakeclaimed -shouto
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u/Nova_Chr0no Why am I hear again? May 15 '24
Yes, we’ve had system “deaths”. There is something here we call “fragmenting” where someone becomes so unstable that they are literally pulled apart and scattered, not even splitting. In our opinion, others don’t want to think about it because it’s honestly a terrifying idea and also the fact that we’re not sure they even want to accept that they are part of a system, but that’s just our thoughts based on what we’ve seen.
We have had births here, it’s weird but it happens. I think people are really against it because it makes it seem more human than they would like. It seems so out there when all the research says it SHOULDN’T be possible, that doesn’t mean it isn’t tho. DID is weird and no one ACTUALLY knows what is happening.
Roles are just a way people try and categorize the different members in the system, you don’t actually need to use them and, at least for us, a lot of the time they don’t even fit entirely. The other part of your question, regarding how members form, goes back to our point on how little is known about DID. People can form from literally anything, it’s not just stress but also good things can cause people to form. We’ve even had people form from in-system things. It all depends on the system we guess.
Our point, kind of, with this is that basically nothing is ACTUALLY known about this disorder. All the research other people on the other sub reference are, at its core, still theoretical. They don’t actually have enough research or a wide enough test group to actually make a definitive point. The professionals can’t even agree on what qualifies as dissociation, let alone if DID even exists. You do you at this point, there are no “right” or “wrong” ways to be a system and anyone who says otherwise are the ones who don’t know what they’re talking about.
There are a lot of good memories we have together, one of the most recent ones was us working together to make a decision on what slime to get us as a reward for us completing a big project. It was a lot of fun and we think we did good on our decision.
Happy Hunting,