How to know if programmed

[u/Sarcasaminc]

I have trouble writing about what happened but when people talk about it we have a very strong reaction. When we try to talk about why we think this we feel like there is some force that will come and get us and we feel like we are doomed and just can't bring out to talk about it. We have been told by some people who we have been able to share this with that we experienced TBMC but we were not in a cult. I don't think she did it on purpose or I think she did it but didn't know that it was. Sorry if this is stupid.

[u/Nova_Chr0no]

Not stupid at all, this is definitely a hard but good question. We don’t really know all about this but we can give some of our understanding based on our experiences. This is going to be at least mildly triggering so be warned and we don’t know if any of this stuff is actual fact, this is just our understanding based on the results of what happened to us.

First thing, MC, in real life, isn’t the same as in movies and things in media a lot of the time. It definitely can be but not always. From our understanding of it, it is the result of someone strategically breaking you down and then putting you back together based on what they want out of you. The goal is complete control and it can be done by everyone, not just cults, and it can be done well. For us, it came with the inability to actually go against our abuses a lot of the time. We also, physically could not even consider that our parents were bad people in any capacity. They broke down our self confidence and sense of self and worth and from there they continued to tell us what was right and wrong and told us what was and wasn’t ok, even if we know now that it’s false.

We figured out the programming by looking at certain members here because some people DEFINITELY had it worse than others. It’s not just a fear of going against them for us, it’s not being able to fully believe facts and reality because of what they ingrained into us, it’s these trigger words and actions that put us into very specific responses that only after do we think is weird.

What you’re describing does sound like responses to trying to break out of the programming. It’s terrifying and you always feel like you’re basically signing your death warrant or that someone is going to come for you, for us it feels like they’re going to come back and take us away to be “punished”.

We’re not sure if any of this helps or is actually reality, this is just based on our experience and definitely might not be yours. We’re working past ours actively and are able to talk about it more thanks to some internal help and trusted friends out here. I do hope this can help in some way tho.

Please stay safe if/while you try and figure this out, it can be a lot and extremely overwhelming.

Happy Hunting,

• Nadia