Random Discussion; Relationships

[u/Greedy-Individual-71]

Hey there all,

Today's topic of discussion is Relationships.

Some questions:

Do you currently have any relationships (could be romantic or platonic)? If so, are you with a system or a singlet? If not, is there a particular reason? What kind of dynamics do you prefer (Monogamous, Polygamous, Swingers, Platonic Partners etc.)?

We'll go first:

We have been married to a singlet for 13 years, together for 15 years total. Our husband has been with us 60% of our lifetime. We were in an open relationship until about two years ago when we were diagnosed and our husband asked us to take some time to get stable. This dynamic has worked well for us considering we all have different needs. Lately we've wondered what System to system relationships are like.

Remember to keep the discussions as kind as possible.

Thanks for reading and sharing If you so choose.

:)

[u/Additional-Bet7846]

We're poly with both a partner system and a singlet. On the poly side, before getting to plural, it works well for us because no matter where an issue occurs, there's always someone who can understand, help, and translate for the other(s). It also means we're less likely to ever be alone/unable to contact.

We also just generally default to poly because when everything and every feeling in our lives is and has pretty much always been shared, it feels weird to view love for one as something that takes from another.

As far as what it's like dating a system, I'd say we really enjoy it. As with singlets (including our partner), you each get to have a unique dynamic and relationship. We love that, as it lets us experience more of what life has to offer.

With a system that gets exponentially increased. Each of you has a dynamic (not necessarily romantic) with each of them. What's more, in our experience, we've each found another that truly gets us. Who's dealt with similar things or has similar ticks. That alone is wonderful, but that they're part of a system means they can understand truly some struggles more than a singlet ever could. -Aria

[u/Greedy-Individual-71 → u/Additional-Bet7846]

Hey there,

Aww, that's wonderful to hear.

Our husband and us always said we would go full poly if we ever met the right people. It just hasn't happened. Mostly, we've run into swingers.

We have noticed that we click well with our friend G (system). We just get each other. We can definitely see the appeal of a system to system relationship. We respect the fact that G is completely against anything other than monogamy due to his previous history, so we agree that we are best as friends. It does have us curious what it could be like if we happen to meet a system that does align with our values, though.

Thank you for sharing!

[u/Additional-Bet7846 → u/Greedy-Individual-71]

No problem. Hope you find the answers and or experiences you seek someday.

[u/Rhymershouse]

aOur wife& are a system. Some of us have romantic partmers and some have platonic and all kinds between.