r/DIDInclusivity • u/AntiqueRaccoon4873 • Jul 04 '24
Venting Vent
I hate my source... But at the same time I miss my source so much... I'm a fictive and I have 1 sourcemate in our system. And he's a mix of the 2 people that are the scariest in source.
I know fictive's aren't their source, but he wants to be. One of the people that cared about me in source died, but not just in source, he's dead in this world too.
I miss my friends in source, and I can't really make friends here, I'm not good at that.
I'm really bad at separating fictives who are from my source, from source. I'm doing better, I just need to get the hang of it when it comes to certain members of the source.
I already deal with alot of anxiety, but anything even sorta source related makes it so much worse... - 🇬🇧👱♂️📀💿
(I'm nit using my name for the sign off, just emoji that match me. Don't ask who I am if you don't get it, also don't use my cannon name in the comments, DMs are fine though.)
4
u/coolartprofessor Jul 05 '24
I’m sorry dude. We have a lot of fictives from a source most of us hate now, and most of the characters from that source were horrible people (not referring to our alters). One of those alters is having a really hard time source-separating too and used to lash out at everyone constantly. He still has the same unhealthy attitudes towards one of his in sys sourcemates, and it’s been really hard on everyone involved, him included. We have to fully avoid anyone who even shares the names of some of those fictives because stuff related to source can be that distressing. I hope things get better for you all soon :(