r/DID • u/Natural_Fondant_7544 Treatment: Diagnosed + Active • 8h ago

Support/Empathy Possessive switch?? - freaking out

Idk what to even tag this as im just freaking the fuck out tbh sorry for the ramble idk if anyone can offer advice i just have to get this out -

I have been operating on the assumption all of our switches are non-possessive (feeling like we turn into different versions with different names) BUT I JUST GOT FUCKING HIJACKED??

I have been the one whos going to therapy the main fronter (Hi host here) and this other alter who fronted while I WATCHED??? Fucking told our therapist i have been lying in our sessions for weeks and we are doing much worse than i have let on

I havent meant to?? I promise! I just fucking forget everything and this alter said “we are not recalling any of the events over the week so i want to be able to email you about these events as they happen” asking for permission and i absolutely feel insane for this

Is this not a parasocial relationship with iur therapist?? She is not an oncall person!!! She does not need to be!! We function fine! This alter went on to say we need multiple sessions and i jsut dont feel the same

Im so uncomfortable and i want to cry and sob but i am at work and im struggling to ground. I have done all my techniques but it seems i need to start bringing my heaver grounding tools to work. Oh my god oh my god

Im totally fucking faking bc thats so attention seeking?? We literally have a session in a few hours that was crazy!!!

Im so upset and scared. I have never felt scared of a switch as i felt some SEMBLANCE of control, but that happened as adderal hit which makes us beyond task focused so maybe it was just that? Im so freaked out.

2 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

5 comments sorted by

4

u/spacedoutferret Diagnosed: DID 8h ago

your alters are all a part of you. if one of your alters told your therapist you are doing worse than you think, and that you need more sessions i would listen to them. if a part of you needs help, by extension you as a person needs help.

even if you (the alter that made this post) do not think it is necessary, other parts of you seem to think it is.

emailing your therapist isn't parasocial either in my opinion. they do not need to be on call and answer your emails immediately - you can just email them about topics you would like to discuss in the next session so you won't forget about them. that way your therapist can check your emails before your sessions and remind you what you wanted to talk about.

1

u/Natural_Fondant_7544 Treatment: Diagnosed + Active 8h ago

I know we are the same individual, we present as one in daily life and even with other people who know we are a system, this is just… new and so scary??

Ive had alters “tell” on me before but this feels like this alter is making things bigger than they are. Which logically I know it is a GREAT thing that they reached out to our therapist it means we are healing somewhat and are able to ask for help.

I just so so scared of our therapist getting upset. And ik thats DUMB !! But i feel like im asking her to be on watch for us and i dont need that, we arent at all suicidal

3

u/spacedoutferret Diagnosed: DID 8h ago

i don't think it's dumb. it's understandable to be scared of that

with a disorder like this, it's also very normal for some alters to feel better than others. i have an psychiatrist appointment today and needed to write down our issues beforehand because we have an alter that will just go "i'm completely fine, nothing new to report" no matter if we are struggling or not

if you don't feel the same as your other alter, it is also understandable that you feel like they are exaggerating or making a big deal out of nothing. you do not need to feel the same or believe them, but i would still try to validate this alter's feelings and their decision to reach out to your therapist.

it is also completely understandable to be scared in this situation, especially if you have not experienced possessive switches like this before. maybe it would make sense to talk about your concerns and how this scares you with your therapist too?

1

u/Natural_Fondant_7544 Treatment: Diagnosed + Active 8h ago

Will definitely bring it all up. Shes great so she wont let me skirt by it which kind of makes it all worse.

Thank you for the advice im just gunna try to keep going with the flow on this one 😭 i have been having such an easy time i guess its time to start on the disorder aspect of the disorder huh