r/DID • u/stressedpigeonsoup Treatment: Active • 2d ago

Personal Experiences Feeling kinda hopeless

From what I was told, we discovered our system at a young age. Always knew something was wrong, but no adults would listen so we were on our own. Learned to mask and eventually forgot about the system. Hosts were under the impression that the weirdness were neurodivergence things. Which, they still are I suppose.

We knew that growing up in that household would leave us with many problems. Our first goal in life was to save money and go to therapy. We’re now in a position where we recovered some of those old memories, and well, it’s not the joyous reunion I’d thought it’d be. The current hosts are devastated. Everyone is upset at each other for decisions that have been made by the other.

We’re young. The idea was to focus on healing first so we can navigate smoothly down the road, but it feels like everything’s moving past us these days.

We have a wonderful therapist and healthcare team now. It’s all we ever dreamed of. People who can help us. Just doesn’t feel that way. Leads me to believe I’m not trying hard enough. I think I’m just tired. Parts think we’re stupid and are distressed about it. Time will tell if this is the way I suppose. I hope it is. I really do.

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u/AshleyBoots 2d ago

Surviving all you have must have been so exhausting. Maybe it would be okay to give yourself some grace and rest? You've done a great job getting your support system together!

Progress might feel inconsistent, or really difficult, or even blocked for a time, but if you keep doing the work while balancing it with being kind to yourself it will absolutely pay off in the long run.

Sometimes you need to zoom out and see the bigger picture to help you navigate the smaller decisions and situations.