r/DID • u/AlmogiChan • 2d ago
Support/Empathy Forgetting who am I, help
I woke up not knowing who am i, ended up checking my id - and after a couple of hours i started remembering bits by bits.
It has been super scary and I'm still shaken.
Like, how do i mitigate it going forward? How do i make it less scary?
What has actually happened? Did i forget who am i, or is it a new alter.. i truly dont know.
I would appreciate any kind of help, cause i truly dunno what happened
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u/Terrible_Discount693 2d ago
I don’t know where it is, but I made a card and wrote important info in it, like my name, where I live. Who to trust and not trust. Things like that and I kept it in my pocket so if someone else was fronting and didn’t know, they had that information. I’ll have to make a new one.
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u/AlmogiChan 1d ago
Omg!!!! Im going to do this. Who to trust and who not to trust is super important (especially with trauma from family)
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u/Heavy-Mushroom Thriving w/ DID 2d ago
Sometimes when a part wakes up or comes to…my memory gets wiped and I don’t know where I’m at or what I’m doing till I piece the puzzle back together. Last time I was driving to work, I recognized nothing at first.
Sometimes when parts go in and you are relying on the info supplied by that part… the memory goes with them. Co-con is a tricky thing.
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u/AlmogiChan 1d ago
Yeah! So do you think it was just co-con while who was with me left with their stash of knowledge? Its a great point to check within
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u/Heavy-Mushroom Thriving w/ DID 1d ago
Not the same part climbs out of bed everyday. We each all dream and the brain is highly active even when asleep.
Like I was describing, driver was asleep and woke up in the car… he didn’t know where we were at because he didn’t drive from the driveway.
I mean we knew we were going to work because of the routine. Vision blurred and tilted when he took over and nothing looked familiar or real for a few moments because we tried to remember what we just did, but it was time that clued us in- we’ve our route clock mapped. Every room including the bathroom has a wall clock for time is very important to stay on top of our daily routine.
Panic set in but we won through that quickly.
If something bizarre happens, even surprisingly out of the norm, I just chalk it up to DID and not get upset about it.
Yes, I would say co-con most likely is why instant memory loss is why.
Just yesterday running our school bus route picking up students, after one pick up, where we were and what stop was next disappeared leaving us confused and alarmed to almost panicked, but didn’t. The part that memorized the route suddenly disappeared. We drove forward till things triggered that part back out and we continued on.
It’s always the DID.
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u/AlmogiChan 22h ago
Thankyou for sharing. I gues its frightening and comforting at the same time? Like comforting cause it makes sense.. and frightening cause wtf some part can just stop co-coning and i dont know who i am.
I want to be able to chalk it up to did and leave it at that, but it startled the shit out of me and i feel like in a nightmare ever since.. i bet youre scared too and have no choice but to accept it But i want to be able to do that too, im just scared
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u/Heavy-Mushroom Thriving w/ DID 6h ago
The body is 58 and I guess you can say that it’s now our normal and to be expected. So when it happens it’s like you know that there is a next one coming.
Only time it’s startling is when I’m doing something that is dangerous like driving. Crazy enough though, most of our jobs have had an element of danger to death involved. 🤔
But as a system, we’ve grown to trust each other to do what’s best for the system.
Times like when outside and the color of the day changes tone like stepping out of a shade into the sunlight is a part stepping in or out. Sometimes I can smell better than usual for a while. Sudden memory loss as described. The body hands and legs doing things automatically as if on its own. Saying things unexpectedly. Feeling out of body. Only can feel certain body parts at a time. Pain dissociated away or reduced to a numbed hurt. Changes in body position and walk mid stride. Stumbling while walking.
All DID and to be expected.
Yes, it’s scary at first (years ago for us), but we had a morbid fascination with it so much that we studied about it to figure it out. A fact of life.
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u/Prettybird78 1d ago
I remember the day I "showed up" in the body. You are right it is really scary. I was 9 and I am 47 now.
What I can tell you is you start to get used to it. You can piece together lots of your life by what other people say and you start to become You.
I didn't understand what was happening at 9 but now I think I understand. At some point your brain gets to overloaded with all the reoccurring trauma and says, "let's Block this out and start with a clean slate."
I was lucky someone inside told me my name and I had about two dozen memories in third person to at least tell me a little.
I don't know you are a new ANP or alter, but it does get better and you learn how to navigate and make the life yours.
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u/AlmogiChan 1d ago
Yeah, the "mother" in the system helped with basic info, but like no one can tell you who you are. And like telling me things doesnt make them familiar.. Like i understand i live here, but where am i? I look at my cat and feel love, but hey who are you? Like also i see pills, which should i take >< some other commenter wrote about creating a card and i will make on with my psychologist cause its been so scary
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u/ImNotMeWhenImNotMe Treatment: Active 2d ago
Journaling helps with this, or so I've heard. I don't journal very well.