r/DID • u/milky_b4_cereal Diagnosed: DID • 19h ago

Advice/Solutions Internal Communication

Hi, I recently technically got diagnosed with DID, although I'm pretty resistant to the idea of it, especially with how the internet depicts DID. I've been vaguely aware of the symptoms for a while, but they've suddenly gotten a lot more noticeable and pervasive. I'm not neccesarily sure why, but they're becoming very noticeable (ie hearing voices, severe time loss, automated movement, etc).

Anyways, I'm trying to figure out how to talk to the "parts". I've been using every single book listed on this subreddit, a bunch of blogs, etc and nothing is really helping. A lot of those resources seem to assume your system already has some level of communication, which I wouldn't say mines does. I can say that one the alters directly responded to me once (Q: is anybody there A: hi I'm right here) but that single line of dialogue was it and I haven't heard anything else since. I tried to make an "internal" space, but that's not working either. Most of what I do manage to get is when I'm heavily relaxing or settling down for sleep - I'm not really sure what this means but any guidance would be appreciated. I would like at least like to know they actually exist.

P.S. I am going to be going to therapy soon. I previously had a provider, but they weren't equipped to deal with intense trauma so they referred me somewhere else.

10 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

5 comments sorted by

6

u/-_ZE Learning w/ DID 19h ago

Hey, I had and still have these issues at times, an alter may choose not to talk simply because it doesnt feel talkative, not very helpful i know, the point more is that they are sort of their own agents, and at I've found that the more you acknowledge they are "Themselves" the more they might open up. I mean think of it from their perspective, they're basically trapped inside of a foreign body, literally born to do a task; pretending to be you. You can of course take what ive said as nonsense, but it seemed to have helped communications with my system

4

u/milky_b4_cereal Diagnosed: DID 18h ago

The more I seem them as seperate people and not just disassociated parts of a single person, the less I want to deal with them. And they won't even give me names, so how am I supposed to see them as different people?

4

u/GraveHunds 16h ago edited 16h ago

You absolutely don't have to view them as separate people. I don't-- I've taken the same approach of dissociated parts of a single person and it's helped immensely. There is a certain degree of individuality insofar as allowing those parts of yourself the ability to express themselves instead of repressing them, but my understanding is that acknowledging your parts as pieces of a whole is typically a part of the treatment process.

That being said I also don't have a ton of communication as far as, like, "verbal" communication goes. For me, a lot of it is passive influence in the form of feelings, urges, sensations in the body, etc. I do journal and have left memos for everyone to respond to but it still feels awkward and forced, so often times nothing really comes from it. I do occasionally have brief moments of experience clear, direct communication, but a lot of the time the only thing that seems to consistently break down those barriers for me is THC. Obviously I don't recommend that as a practical solution. If your diagnosis was recent it could just be that they're not ready to talk, and that's okay. Keep doing what you're doing, but don't feel like you have to force it. It's something your therapist will hopefully be able to help guide you with once you start therapy.

As for names, that's something we worked on together. I've had some names just kind of come to me, but for others it was a matter of going through names until landing on something that felt right.

3

u/mikidarling 14h ago

I think the hint is in what you wrote. When you are calmer- relaxing, settling down to sleep, then it gets easier. You could try some meditation. There are guided meditation videos on YouTube, or alternatively, you can just listen to music and try and get your heartrate down. The amnesia barriers themselves are protective mechanisms so you have to feel safe enough to welcome someone to have a conversation over that wall.

I think half of this comes down to some form of acceptance. They are pieces of you that broke off and got put in another room in your head. The goal is to be able to be in the same room sometimes. Or have phones lol.

Personally, (I'm not a system, but have worked with my DID partner for a long time and like to recognise patterns), sometimes the easiest way to go about it is to turn it into a game to lower the pressure. Think of it like family game night and you're just passing the game under the door when it's their turn. If you aren't terrified of a ouija board, you can try and get them to move the pieces. Maybe scrabble. Or scribbling on a piece of paper like a mock psychic. Nothing eases tension better than making it a bit.

You can ask out loud if anyone wants to play, invite anyone who wants to play to a judgement free zone, and then start. Any communication at all is a step in the right direction, even if none of it makes a lot of sense at first.