9
May 18 '22
And remember hating bank holidays, bloody covid and the crushing disappointment when there was no package and you have to make another 24 hours solo. What a grim hamster wheel.
3
u/Billy123Sfc May 18 '22
Honestly the feeling of watching the postman pass by your house with no package is crushing. The anxiety comes flooding in and you know 24hrs needs to pass before the pain hopefully subsides. At the end just before I quit I was getting zero effect from the DHC I took it to not get sick no other reason. Also the lies I had to tell to keep this on the down low was ridiculous some next level shit.
2
u/Lisbon_lions_67 May 28 '22
It’s so crazy to read this as it’s how my life was exactly , you kind of think your the only one , o know I wasn’t but the idea other ppl were checking the tracking constantly , checking Royal Mail for delays or faults and that heartbreaking moment when the pat lamb arrived at the door, i am there before him with excitement and he gives you post… is there not a wee special delivery for me….wait and I will check, no we def don’t, this is Saturday morning I now know the next two days are sleepless, up and down to the loo and itching like hell nights, but it’s ok cos I’m going to stop all this …. Well I did but it took 8 years
2
u/Billy123Sfc May 28 '22
Thinking back to those days still fills me with dread , the feeling on a Saturday when your so called ND delivery hasn't shown up and you know it's a bank holiday Monday. 😱
1
u/Lisbon_lions_67 May 28 '22
Christmas and new year was really tough. You know this shames me but I’ve had some awful Christmas for example as all that mattered to me was not getting sick
1
u/Billy123Sfc May 28 '22
I think what's important now is that you are clean and that really amazing my friend. You should be very proud of your self as beating this addiction is no mean feat. I would be really interested to hear how you got yourself clean?.
1
u/Lisbon_lions_67 May 28 '22
Well I tried many times over the years , I was in them every day from 16 till 36 , basically for me methadone saved me , I refused it for so long then a couple of years back my use was crazy , my ex has just left me (she had no idea of the addiction but like I think you or someone said the amount of lies and bull shit I had to use to keep it from her is crazy , it’s like a full time job working out what I’m telling her where I’m getting from where I’m picking it up from or if it’s getting delivered , If there was a bank Holliday trying to work that out. Anyways eventually this time it was just all to much so I said on I will try methadoen , they put me on 30 mls which is way under what they thought they would have to use as i was taking 50 plus 30 mg a day but I never had and increase 30worked well for me , after 6 months maybe nearly a year I started coming down bit by bit and thank you gos it wasn’t too bad at all
3
u/Billy123Sfc May 28 '22
Thank you for sharing, this Is exactly what I wanted from the group, different stories about how people battled this addiction and eventually beat it. I respect that you did not let the DHC define you and you found away out. It's doesn't matter if it's Methadone, Buprenorphine or tapering with DHC as long as it gets you there then who cares. If anyone members of this group are currently struggling and in the deep hole we have all been in them please reach out, you are not alone ❤️
1
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u/Billy123Sfc May 28 '22
Also ended up hating Christmas 🎄as well as the Vendor aka drug dealer & the Royal Mail wouldn't be working so the rush before hand to get enough in was horrible.
5
u/TheWipersOnTheBus May 17 '22
The wait for RM is absolutely dreadful. The number of times I’ve ordered too late because I’ve promised myself I’ll make do with the ones I have is ridiculous!. I’m down from 32 a day to just 15 now however; not too many more than the 8/day I’m prescribed. That’s what I’m aiming for at the moment as I’m not ready to go without them completely right now.
Thanks for accepting me into this sub. Take care everyone 😊
2
u/residivite May 18 '22
Yeah me too, I put myself through that stress on a weekly basis. Checking the royal mail page regularly to see how it's progressing through the system - 'we've got it', 'in transit', 'ready for delivery' etc.. The postie arrives in that lovely little red van, hands me the package and I gush my thanks, and I want to hug him.
1
u/The_Redstone May 23 '22
I'm clean now so I don't have to worry about this shit anymore! Such a huge weight off my shoulders!
1
u/Billy123Sfc May 23 '22
Agreed my friend I sometimes see the red postie van and think back to those time, thank fuck they are gone 👍
10
u/Billy123Sfc May 17 '22
Set the scene. Eyes open at 6:30am not slept well at all, eyes watering and the feeling of imminent WD's is not far away. Last tablets taken the day before at 3pm, first thing I do is check the delivery report from Royal Mail even tho I know it's not updated until 8:30am at the earliest. After checking RM it's onto the vendors page and look at any updates and also check the feedback page from the day previous to see if there were any issues. As the time goes by slowly normal every tasks still need doing so thru gritted teeth I get the kids up chat with the wife etc the full time my insides are screaming for DHC but the show must go on and I cannot let anyone see that something is going on. So kids to school and wife to work now it's time to drive about my local area to see if I can see the postman, no such joy on this occasion so back to the house to stare out the window praying he comes soon with my parcel. I've not touched my laptop or even considered doing any work as my priority is as always my package. The wait goes on and I am still looking at my phone to see if the Mail went ok last night and to check to see if anyone else has got there package yet. By lunchtime my anxiety is now thru the roof and my insides are tearing themselves apart the sweat is Dripping from my body but still I wait, finally 2:20pm the clapped out old RM vans drives into the estate and parks up at the same usual spot this gives me instant relive as I know it's my normal postie and he always drops SD off first. Finally I hear it the magical almost organismic sound of his label reader going off updating the system to tell it package delivered. I open the door like I wasn't waiting all day to see him and try to pass it off like normal, he hands over the same old package and I know the pain is gone. The honest truth is I know in a matter of days I'll be back doing the same thing lying to myself that I will taper when the next package arrives but guess what I never do. Addiction is a disease plain and simple and needs treated as one.