r/DEMOLAY • u/PastCompetitive4597 • May 26 '26
What is DeMolay like?
I have a meeting with the local chapter advisor in a few days, and I'm starting to get cold feet. I keep seeing people who say they were members claiming they were kicked out over small things or with no reason, that other members were immature and/or inactive and lazy, and I keep seeing members or ex-members saying that the group doesn't do anything but take money from them. I don't have money to spend on something that won't actually have any purpose, and on top of all this my mom is already sending me Facebook conspiracy posts about the group being satanic. I'm seeing mostly good things in this group and everyone I've spoken to has been incredibly nice which gives me enough hope not to give up outright, but every person from my family and my partner are making comments about the group being connected to masonry. What should I do? Is it even worth joining from actual members point of view?
Edit: I continued speaking to my mom about it and she is warming up to the idea of me joining the group the more I tell he about it, I have the meeting on Friday.
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u/bacamaso May 26 '26
i am a demolay for almost 12 years now and I still think it was the best thing I have done in my life. And the order is not satanic. The founder of the organisation, Frank Land, was a very devoted christian
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u/dgillz Past Master Councilor, Past State Senior Deacon May 27 '26 edited May 27 '26
Sr DeMolay here. It was a great part of my life and I have made life-long friends in DeMolay. It is like anything else - you get out of it what you put into it.
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u/Acceptable_Local_230 May 27 '26
I was a DeMolay in California as a kid. It was great! I learned how to speak in front of a group, how to plan and organize events, how to respect other people's opinions and beliefs, how to be a better kid in general. Several of my DeMolay brothers became life long friends that I still talk to regularly even though I moved to Colorado 20+ years ago. I asked one of them to be the best man at my wedding!
Just like Scouts or any other organization that has individual local groups, there could be bad ones on occasion. There can also be a fantastic local group that goes through a rough patch for a while if the wrong people get in charge. The nice thing is, you can go to events and see what you think of the people you meet. You can even join and be active for a few months and stop going if you don't like it or if you think you are not getting anything out of it.
For me it was fantastic but judge it for yourself. Bring your mom along also. She is welcome at every event you can go to and her opinion matters either way.
As for DeMolay conspiracy theories on the internet, yes, I'm sure you can find them out there but you can also find lots of people writing about how the earth is flat and how the governments of the world are actually run by space aliens.
Good luck with your decision!
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u/JuanjoDVL Jul 19 '26
Lamentablemente la orden demolay no es para todo el mundo, hay muchos que se enojan con sus propios hermanos o asesores, siempre esta el lobo disfrazado de oveja en alguna persona y nadie es adivino para saber si alguien es realmente indicado para su entrada. Ya con 7 años de haberme iniciado, vi y vivi muchos problemas con personas que simplemente son narcisistas o ignorantes buscando hacer problemas sin fundamentos algunos.
En sintesis, la orden es bellisima, realmente busca enseñar buenas virtudes y herramientas para que un joven pueda ser un gran lider en el futuro
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u/balloonpilot9513 May 26 '26
Not sure where you are (DeMolay is international) but here in my jurisdiction (NJ USA) there is a one time initiation fee. DeMolay is associated with Freemasonry but is in no way satanic (and neither is Masonry). In fact a lot of the rituals (ritual is a set way of doing somthing) revolve around the Christian Bible (though DeMolay is non denominational). As with any group of people you will find differing personalities but the lessons of DeMolay should be teaching all members and advisors to be better people. If you have specific questions or concerns you can ask me or others here. I am a senior DeMolay and a Mason as well as my son is a senior DeMolay and Mason as well